The Sweetest Goodbye
by skeight
Summary: Shindou Shuichi is dead and, even after seven years, Yuki Eiri still can't get over it. Then, Tohma introduced him to his new bodyguard: a selfish, coldhearted, downright bastard named Jed. But without remembering his past, can Jed stay true to who he is?
1. engagement

* * *

**_CHAPTER ONE  
The Engagement_**

* * *

It was raining cats and dogs outside. Only a few cars roamed the city. Most of the people had gone home and majority of them were already having dinner with their respective families. The night seemed peaceful except for the thunder and lightning which disrupted it. But unlike any other people, one man stood right in the middle of a parking lot of an abandoned warehouse. Others tend to shelter themselves in this kind of weather, especially considering that it was already late, but this man is, well, unique.

He embraced this element. This was his refuge, his very own sanctuary. This was the time for him to reflect and gather his thoughts. This was the only time he found peace and solitude. He loved how the water fell from the sky towards the ground. He loved how the water drenched his hair and his clothes. As he cocked his head, he loved how the water pressure itself upon his face. As he opened his arms wide, he loved how the droplets gently caress his palms. He just _loved_ everything about it.

Although this man stood here, he had a different explanation as to why it rains. It was not because of condensation or gravity. It was because of the angels. The angels crying over the sins of the world. The angels crying over the people suffering of poverty and hunger. The angels crying over the people who died. The angels crying over the worthless people _he_ killed. Why they cried for them, he will never understand. But here he is now, accepting their grief with open arms. Hoping that somehow their tears would cleanse him. Rinse him of all the foreign blood which spattered to his being. He wanted to be _ free..._

"So, do you have any plans of going inside and warming yourself up?" A soothing voice sliced through the solemn silence. "No, I intend to stay" the man didn't even have the chance to finish his sentence because the owner of the voice literally dragged him to the entrance of the warehouse. "Wrong answer." She simply said as she walked towards the door.

The warehouse may be abandoned but it surely was not unstable. Well, actually, it was more than stable, it was just plain fancy. If you looked outside, it just looked like some big old building looking like it was going to fall apart any time soon. But as soon as you get inside, it's a whole _new_ story.

The building is made up of two stories. The ground floor being like a candy store and the second floor being somewhat like an apartment.

Why a candy store, you ask? Because it was pretty much packed with all the "candy" you can ever dream of. From the entrance, you can find yourself face to face with a few cars and even fewer motorcycles. But though they are few, these cars were the latest model of their kind and were rarely made. It was still a mystery how these models got to Japan in the first place. On the far right of the entrance, there is a room almost filling at most one-eight of the ground floor. The room had bullet-proof glass walls and a door which only opened after a retina scan, meaning it can only be opened by specific people, in this case there are two of them. Because the walls are made up of glass, one can easily look through them. The room is packed with computers, all sorts and all kinds of them. The monitors hung on the walls while the keyboards and a few more monitors laid across the table. Using these kinds of equipments, one could control the traffic control of almost all major cities in Japan. The live camera feed coming from the wireless cameras located at the junctions of the streets of Japan made it possible to monitor the movement of different vehicles as they travel. Also, these things can help you _legally_ tap into telephone wirings, therefore interfering with telephone conversations without being caught. Now let's get to juicy part. On the far left of the entrance are guns, guns, and more guns. Snipers, machine guns, ammunition, grenades, pistols... you name it, they've got it. At the far left corner, just behind the guns section, is a wide mat laid on the floor and at least three Samurai swords made of very strong and very sharp Japanese steel hanging on the walls. Here one can practice his own skills in sword-fighting. It was small but it could still benefit whoever used it. A mini-gym is situated on the far right corner of the warehouse. Just a few weights and some cycling and running machines. Just enough to keep the muscles toned and in shape.

Now whoever said that this warehouse is just a big rusty old thing, is definitely mistaken. As the saying goes, _never_ judge a book by its cover.

Enough with the ground floor and let's settle to the second floor. The apartment is huge, considering the fact that only two people live there. Two separate bedrooms with their respective bathrooms, one guest room, one separate bathroom, a spacious living room with a kick-ass entertainment system, and of course, a kitchen with a counter right in the middle. Instead of having glass windows, the apartment has two-way mirrors as its windows, which benefits the onlooker a clear view of the city of Kumamoto.

In the living room, the man drenched in water sat quietly on the leather sofa. Although the sofa invites anybody to just lay flat on it, this man was in no mood to have a nap. He wanted to get out. Of course, he felt warm and cozy because this _is_ his home, but tonight was just one of those nights that he wanted to get out. Out in the cold. Out in the rain. Why does this just have to happen to him over and over again?

"Here. Drink this." A woman in her early twenties said as she motioned a hot cup of tea in front of the man he just dragged into the said building.

The man took the tea and sipped a little. Letting the warm liquid fill his cold body with warmth. "You shouldn't have done that. I wanted to be alone. I wanted to spend time" for the second time that evening he was cut off by the calming voice of the woman. "You know it's dangerous. People could still be looking for us. We should lie low for about a few weeks or so." The woman said calmly as she took a sip from her own drink.

"We_ are_ lying low." The man said in a monotone voice. "You know how much I love the rain. Why do you deprive me of it?" The man simply said, still sounding cold and at the same time confused. The woman just stared at her cup for a few moments before finally saying, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to... It's just... well... I'm worried."

The man was now facing towards the woman across the table. She was just kneeling there, her hands firmly holding the cup of tea as she stared at it, intentionally hiding her eyes behind her dark brown bangs. The man just stared at her. Then without any warning he kneeled across her, also setting his cup on the coffee table before both of them.

"Kat," the man began, "I'm worried too. But we already promised each other that that was going to be our last job. Our last call. We can leave Kumamoto and start a new life, wherever it is, I don't really care. The important thing is we have each other. We're the only family we've got." He said while smiling at her.

At saying those words, she titled her head so that she can face him. "Family, huh?" she asked, a little smile slowly lightening her pale face. "I like the sound of that, _bro_."

The man just smiled back at her. "Always remember that I'll do anything for you... So please, don't bother me when I'm out in the rain. Don't worry about it. When I'm hungry, I'll just come bouncing back to your loving arms. Do we understand each other, _sis_?"

Kat chuckled at her new pet name but slowly nodded. "That's my girl!" The man said as he stood up and headed towards the kitchen to get more tea.

"Yo, Jed..." Kat said barely audible. "Yeah?" Jed turned around to face her. "Thanks... a lot. Uhm, I know I ask this question a lot of times but I would just like to confirm. Is it really alright if I refer to you as my brother?" Jed simply smiled at her and nodded, "Whatever suits you, sis." Kat just smiled at his retreating back. She stood up and retrieved the two cups of tea on the coffee table and followed her brother to the kitchen.

* * *

A few hours ago, in an outdoor café, sat a very enraged and very annoyed Eiri Yuki. "Are you fuckin' kidding me?" he almost shouted at his companion across the table.

"Certainly not. Look Eiri, this is for you. You know how crazed fans act out these days. They could hurt you. You need this. Mika and I simply seek out your safety." Seguchi Tohma said in a soft tone.

"So what? You expect me to walk around the city having some over-muscled guy dressed in a black suit with sunglasses and ear pieces follow me wherever I go? Do you really believe that I'll be safer that way? Do you really believe that, huh, Tohma?" Yuki said to him as he stood up. He was already drawing attention from other customers.

Tohma inhaled deeply, trying to be rational over the situation and not lose control. "Sit down, Eiri." Tohma said as he glared directly into Yuki's eyes. Yuki knew better than to mess around with this side of Tohma. So, he hesitantly obeyed. "You cannot back away from this, Eiri. You will have a bodyguard whether you like it or not. And yes, he _will _follow you wherever you will go. And yes, he _will_ live with you. And yes, you're going to have to deal with every second _of_ it. And don't you even try to mess around with whoever it is I am assigning to you because you'll deal with a lot more problems if you do. Do I make myself clear, Uesugi Eiri?"

Yuki was dumbfounded. Who could have thought that the composed and poised NG President could be this harsh. He's more like a military general than a brother-in-law right now. And like any obedient officer, Yuki just answered his question in a single word. "_Yes._"

Tohma returned to his smiling façade and with a cheerful voice said, "Good. Your new bodyguard will be with you in a few weeks time. I better be going now. There's a new band auditioning at the studios. Have a nice day, Eiri." And with that, Tohma stood up and gave Yuki a big smile and walked to his car.

Yuki just sat there still digesting all the news. ''Bodyguard in a few weeks time.' Some old buffed guy in a black suit, sunglasses and leather shoes with guns. Never really worked for me. But what can I do? I'm talking about the persuasion powers of the great Seguchi Tohma here. Great, just _bloddy_ great!'

Yuki stood up, put some money on the table and proceeded to his apartment. 'I need to get some work done. The deadline's coming up.' Just getting home and finishing his work could take his mind off of things for some time. That could help him forget about everything in the mean time. He proceeded to his car, started the engine, and drove into the busy streets of Tokyo back to his apartment.

* * *

As Jed sat on the sofa, he surfed through the channels of their TV. As he was doing so, his other hand constantly combed through the hair of Kat who is now asleep on the sofa with her head resting on his lap. He stopped at a local news show.

"An American politician was recently assassinated as he was driving through the streets of Kumamoto at 7:30 p.m., exactly four hours ago. Our field reporter informed us that he was shot perfectly through his forehead. The amazing part was that the car was running while this happened therefore whoever murdered him was a pretty good sniper. The police said that they still had no leads as to whoever had done this." A young woman promptly said through the speakers of the TV.

Jed snorted at the words that the anchor woman just said. _Pretty good sniper_. "I could work with that, I guess..." Jed just smiled at the statement and just listened to some other important news that the show might be delivering, his hand still combing Kat's dark brown locks.

Yes, Jed and Kat were the people responsible for that politician's death and they were given the proper amount for the service that they've done. It was wrong, Jed knew that. It was not the best way to get money, Kat knew that also. They were doing this not for money, but for definition. They wanted to define their lives. They wanted their lives to have at least the slightest bit of meaning in it. The people they kill were not just some innocent men. Actually, they can't even be considered as moral. All of them were corrupt, pedophile and masochists. They only wanted the things that could satisfy themselves and no one else. They were just selfish bastards. Selfish bastards who did nothing but enrich themselves and screw every virgin all over Japan. But still it was wrong... both Jed and Kat knew that what they were doing were so wrong. That was the reason why that American was their last job... They wanted to stop. Live a new life... They have lots of money and they're young. They could enjoy themselves until their last breath. That's their dream...

* * *

Jed and Kat had only been assassins for two years but in those couple of years, they had already killed many people. They killed for a proper amount. The American politician's life alone already cost three million U.S. dollars and every penny was definitely worth it.

Whoever hires them can expect the job to be done fast, accurate, and untraceable. The duo are already popular all over Japan but nobody ever did have the chance to pinpoint them in crowds or even familiarize themselves with the duo's names. And for the duo, their names are just Jed and Kat. No family names.

Well, actually, those names are just nicknames. Jed's full name is Jedrick while Kat's is Katarina. They both used English names so that it would be common and not unique at all. Kat gave Jed his name while Jed also gave hers. Although they might be mistaken as a couple, they are certainly not. They treat each other as siblings. Both orphans and both struggling to survive life. And to their amazement, they are sometimes, too, mistaken as _real_ siblings.

The two assassins are just plain gorgeous. Both have brown hair though Jed's is a bit lighter and have some hints of pink at the tips. Same round pale face and soft pink lips. Jed is just a few inches taller than Kat standing at 5'8". Both have slim bodies but toned muscles. The only specific thing that differentiate them physically from each other are their eyes. Kat has dark green while Jed has the most unique color of all... dark shades of violet. Both use brown contact lenses to hide the unique colors of their eyes. Another thing which discerns the two are their attitudes. Kat always has this warm aura around her. Most of the time she is friendly towards other people but the glint in her eyes can tell you that she can be ruthless if she wants to. Jed on the other hand, is a remote yet stoic person. He'll talk to others in a monotonous voice. One will really have some difficulty looking for emotion in his eyes because they are just empty... blank. But Kat knows better than to be deceived by this impression because she can break through that block of ice in an instant. She can make Jed talk at least 5 sentences in a row. She can make him smile, laugh, and even admit his own mistakes.

That's what siblings are for, isn't it? Bring out the true colors of each other.

* * *

Now, both were here, in their living room, just enjoying the presence of each other. Jed had already turned the TV off and is still combing Kat's long hair. Then gently, he removed his hand from Kat's hair and combed his own.

He still wondered why the hell he decided to dye his hair pink. Pink is not really his favorite color nor does he hate it. He just doesn't understand why a person could dye his own hair in this color, specifically him. Well, he doesn't really need to worry himself over it. Besides, the pink dye is already wearing off. Sooner or later, it'll just disappear. But still, the thought still haunts him... Not his hair color, but the fact that even after almost seven years, he still can't...

'There's really no point in stressing myself over worthless things. I've got my sister. That's the only important thing for me right now.' He said to himself, trying his best to dismiss all the thoughts that were on his mind a few seconds ago.

As soon as he prepared his hand to comb Kat's hair again, his cellular phone on the coffee table suddenly vibrated notifying it owner that someone's calling. Ever so gently, he reached for his phone and slumped back to the sofa.

"What?" he said in a grunt while being careful to keep his voice down so that he won't wake his sister.

"I've got a job for you." The man on the other line cheerfully said.

"It's late." Jed said back to the man.

"Nah... It's still early. C'mon Jed. It has a nice paycheck. Well, actually, a_ big_ one. And the greatest thing is you don't even have to break a sweat." The man said to Jed trying his best to have a sweet yes as a reply.

"No." Jed said with a finality to his voice.

"What?" the man on the other line disbelievingly said.

"You heard me, Red. N.O. No. We're done. We don't kill any"

He was suddenly cut off by the man named Red on the other line. "Kill? Nobody said anything about killing. Did you say anything about killing? I certainly did not. I'm asking you to _ protect_ somebody." Red said to Jedrick clearly emphasizing the word protect. "This is a great break for the both of you. You get to protect very famous people. This can be some kind of a repent for you guys. Just one lousy good deed." Red said pleadingly over the line.

"How can it be a good deed if there's money concerned?" Jed simply asked the man.

"Look, I can't really talk about the details over the phone and clearly I can't convince you to accept the job. Just meet me at the same place tomorrow afternoon at 4 o'clock. I want you and Kat to be there. This job is for the both of you. You have to hear me out, Jed. I think that this will really suit your best interest, both yours_ and_ Kat's."

Jed simply hung up and continued to comb his sisters hair with his hands.

* * *

"He shoots, he scores!" Red said cheerfully after being hung up by one of his best friends. "There's no way he'll reject this." Having known Jedrick for a long time, he already knew that Jed is already interested on an offer, especially when money is concerned.

He dialed another number on his cellular and talked to the receiver. "Hello, Seguchi-san? This is Red from Kumamoto." a pause. "Yes, I have. The siblings will be there in Tokyo within a week. Everything's settled." a long pause. "No, thank _you_, Mr. President. I am very happy to be of service to you. Good night." Then he hung up.

(",) tbc (",)

* * *

**Author's notes:**  
The idea of naming the warehouse "the candy store" is from the TV series fastlane.  
I know that this chapter is a bit short and for that I am really sorry... I'll try my best to lengthen the next chapters.  
I know that other authors_ beg_ for reviews but I'm just an ordinary person. If you want to review, fine. I'll take them all. Positive_ and_ negative. If you won't, just continue reading the story. That's the important thing anyway.

and also, i REMOVED the story earlier. i was getting frustrated because even though i've reposted it for the nth time, it still won't come out the way it was supposed to. so i removed the story, and reposted it. this is just a trial chapter. if it came out the way i wanted it to, then i'll post the other 14.  
PEACE OUT!

* * *


	2. meeting

* * *

**_CHAPTER TWO  
The Meeting_**

* * *

"This sucks!" Yuki Eiri said as he closed his laptop.

Two hours of staring into an empty, white screen and still he didn't come up with a decent ending to his novel. He could just let the protagonist commit suicide or kill it's lover or kill both of them. But the real question is how? How the hell is he going to have a tragic ending? He's a brilliant author for god's sake! Why can't he think of a proper ending for this story. 'Maybe a can of beer and some nicotine can help me think.'

He proceeded to his vast living room after going to the kitchen and getting his needs. He sat on his leather sofa and rested his head and faced the ceiling of his apartment.

This would be his _final_ novel before he leaves Japan. He was recently given the chance to publish his books in America. That was not really a shock for him. There were many opportunities but he rejected each one of them. At first, he didn't want to go to America because that would only revive some unwanted memories. Then, he refused to leave Japan because of a certain pink-haired rock star. And even though the same offer came back to his doorstep a few years back, he still didn't want to accept it because he couldn't get over _it_... He couldn't get over _him_...

Seven years have already passed but still he can't forget about him. His pink locks, those cherry lips, his pale face, his slim body, his voice, and his expressive violet orbs. He _couldn't_ forget him, and he had already gave up trying.

Sure, he slept with numerous women, even men on some accounts, but that didn't mean he forgot him. And that is why he finally gave in to the offer. He only has three months until he leaves for America. This was to at least ease him of the pain of losing him. He didn't want to forget him, he just wanted to move on.

His train of thoughts were suddenly stopped by the constant ringing of the phone. He shifted his head to look at it then resumed to his earlier position. 'It'll just stop ringing...' But it never did. The person on the other line probably knew Yuki a lot, knowing that the author would only pick up his phone after realizing that the ringing is starting to annoy him.

So, Yuki got up, strolled to the counter where the phone is, and picked it up. "What?" his voice showing his annoyance.

"Good afternoon, Eiri-san. Dress up and meet me at the Chinese restaurant down your street. You'll be meeting your new bodyguard." Tohma said to him cheerfully.

"Now?" Yuki asked a bit childishly.

"Yes, now. You'll also be meeting Bad Luck's. We'll all meet there in an hour. Goodbye, Eiri." And with that, Tohma hung up.

"Whatever." Yuki hung up the phone and looked at the digital clock beside the phone. 5:30. "So we'll all be having dinner then." He just walked towards the bathroom and started getting ready.

* * *

In the NG Studios, a very mad Suguru Fujisaki was complaining to his producer. "Why do we have to have a bodyguard, anyway?" Fujisaki said angrily to Sakano.

"There's really no harm into it. I don't see anything wrong. Besides, maybe the bodyguard can do something about K's weird habits." Sakano shivered at the thought of K holding a magnum directly pointing towards his forehead.

"Whatever." Fujisaki said as he went back to experiment new melodies from his keyboard.

"Oh, c'mon, Fujisaki. It's not like the bodyguard is going to be on your tail 24/7." Nakano Hiroshi, Bad Luck's superb guitarist, said to his bandmate.

"A bodyguard? I hate those men. They look so scary, na no da! Don't you think so too, Kumagoro?" The band's vocalist, Sakuma Ryuchi, asked his pink bunny which nodded in response.

"Attention!" K shouted as he entered the room banging the door to the wall in the process. The four people in the room simply stared at him in shock.

"I told you the bodyguard was a good idea." Sakano said in a barely audible whisper.

"We must all get ready! The president wants to join us for dinner in a fancy restaurant. He said we'll be meeting some very important people!" K cheerfully said while holding a machine gun in his right hand while the other resting on his hip.

"We better get ready then." Hiro said to his bandmates after getting over the usual shock of K's arrival.

* * *

As a sleek black Jaguar made its way through dozens of vehicles, a black Yamaha motorcycle is gliding its own way behind it. 'That girl can be a damn sick driver sometimes. She'll get hurt doing those stunts.' Jed thought as he followed his sister.

'So, we're back in Tokyo once again. Last time I remembered coming here was when we killed some company share holder.' Jed remembered the time when he and Kat came to Tokyo to assassinate a well-known businessman. 'I still can't believe I ended up coming here.'

**_flashback_**

"Protect somebody, huh?" Kat asked to Red intently.

"Yup!" Red enthusiastically said as he drink his mug of coffee.

"For how long, then?" Jed said in a cold voice while keeping an eye on Red.

"Only three months." Red answered and quickly continued, "As your agent, I've arranged everything. From contracts to your monthly paychecks. The only thing lacking is your sweet yes..."

'Three months? We can't take this. It's too long. There's not enough time.' Jed was about to say no to the deal when he caught a glimpse of his sister. She was looking at him with a pout on her face. She was pleading with her eyes, begging him to take the job. 'But she wants it... She really does.'

"So, you really want this?" Jed asked his sister. Kat just nodded enthusiastically in response.

"Fine. Three months. No more than that. After that, we're good." Jed said with a finality to his voice towards Red.

"Ooh, thank you, Jed! You're the best! I love you so much!" Kat almost shouted as she hugged Jed.

"I know." Jed said as he smiled at her and patted her head.

"Great! I'll be expecting you in Tokyo in a week. Thanks a lot, Jed." Red said as he stood up after taking one last sip from his coffee.

"Sure, that's what friends are for." Jed said with no expression whatsoever to his voice.

Red just gave held out his hand for a handshake. Jed stood up and took it while Kat just looked at them with a smile on her face. "I'll miss both of you after you quit." Red said to both of them as he shook his Jed's hand. "_Everybody_ will."

"Us too." Kat replied after giving him one heartfelt smile. "Please tell the brotherhood we said hi."

"Sure will." Red said as he turned around and walked away from the siblings.

**_end of flashback_**

And now they were here in Tokyo on their way to a fancy restaurant where they'll meet their clients. Red was also with them and because he was afraid to ride in a motorcycle due to a bad experience, he is now being a nice passenger of Kat's sick driving.

'Told you it's better to ride with me than that mad driver.' Jed smiled at the thought of Red shouting angrily at Kat.

* * *

Yuki Eiri entered the entrance of a popular Chinese restaurant while seeking the area for a certain face.

"May I know who you are looking for, sir?" A girl in a red dress asked him politely. "Seguchi Tohma." He said. "Right this way, please." The girl said to him respectfully as she guided him through the customers and to a large room with transparent glass windows.

Yuki noted that the restaurant was really superb. The tables were not just ordinary circular or square, they were carefully handcrafted. The sides of it were properly cut making it look like it just came out of the woods. What was really amazing though was that everything was so smooth. It was as if one single touch can annihilate the whole concept behind the construction of the restaurant. 'How come I never noticed this restaurant knowing that it's just down my street?' Yuki asked himself.

"Eiri-san, it's so nice of you to make it. Please, have a seat." Tohma said to Yuki as soon as he saw the blonde enter the VIP room. The waitress whispered "Have a nice dinner." to Yuki and walked towards a table, probably needing more of her assistance.

"Like a have a choice." Yuki uttered as he took the seat opposite to Tohma which granted him a nice view of the streets outside.

"Looks like everybody's here." Tohma cheerfully said. "We should order then." Tohma called the waitress to order.

"Aren't you going to wait for your guests?" Fujisaki asked his cousin politely.

"We'll just order for them." Tohma replied, still smiling.

As Yuki sat there, he noticed there are three vacant seats beside Tohma. 'So, there are three bodyguards coming...' Yuki thought.

He fixed his gaze to the streets outside. A few minutes later. A black Jaguar appeared into view. 'Now _that's_ a nice car.' Yuki thought mentally noting himself to remember the model in front of him. 'I never knew that they sell those here in Japan...'

A pretty brown-haired girl in the age of most probably twenty-five got out of the car. She was wearing a long denim skirt with side slits a few inches above her knee and a black tube top with a denim jacket over it. She was laughing at a guy who just got out of the other side of the car. The guy had brownish-red hair and was wearing a simple shirt and a pair of jeans. He was shouting angrily at the girl who just kept on giggling.

A few moments later, Yuki saw a black motorcycle pull over behind the Jaguar. The first time he saw the driver, he really caught Yuki's attention. He was wearing a pair of black denims, a V-neck brown shirt and a black leather jacket. Though it was only a simple attire, it was totally an eye-catcher because of the way the outfit clung to the driver's body.

The moment he removed his helmet, Yuki considered him one of the most handsome guys he had ever seen. He had light brown hair and a really gorgeous face. What really caught Yuki's eyes though was the earring hooked on his left ear which sparkled through the darkness of the night. It was somewhat familiar...

Yuki mentally shook his head of the thoughts about the unknown driver. 'What the hell am I thinking of?'

The driver eyed the couple in front of him and got off of the bike. He walked gracefully towards the entrance of the restaurant. As soon as the couple saw the driver, they stopped their argument and followed suit.

Yuki saw the red-haired guy say something to the waitress. Then he saw the waitress nod to the trio and led them to a certain room.

Then Yuki snapped. They're heading towards _their_ room. 'Don't tell me... _ he's_ my bodyguard?'

* * *

Jed followed the waitress as she guided them towards a large table with seven people. He eyed each one of them, studying their faces. He already knew who they were. Red gave them a week before coming to Tokyo so they had enough time to conduct a search through the personal file of each individual.

'Let's see. The people seated together must be the ones who made the band Bad Luck possible.' He observed the childish man talking to a stuff bunny.

'Sakuma Ryuichi, Nittle Grasper's ex-vocalist and now Bad Luck's. An old but childish guy. Talk about irony.'

He looked at the red-haired guy. 'Nakano Hiroshi, 29, the guitarist.'

Then he looked at the green-haired youth. 'Suguru Fujisaki, 25, Bad Luck's keyboardist and a cousin of NG's president, Seguchi Tohma.' He thought as he looked at the platinum blonde man seated.

'K and Sakano, the band's manager and producer, respectively.' He thought as he watched the blonde American and the guy with eyeglasses. 'These two totally contradict each other.' He thought to himself as he observed the mannerisms of the two.

He fixed his gaze to a certain blonde man with amber eyes who was, surprisingly, also looking at him. 'The famous Yuki Eiri.' He thought as he remembered reading the author's file. 'A famous 31-year-old romance novelist who had screwed so many virgins in Tokyo. Pretty nice description for an author who has written numerous love stories.' He smiled mentally at the sarcasm of his own statement. He hated men like those. That's why he ended up killing them.

"Good evening, Mr. President!" Red cheerfully said to Seguchi Tohma. "Sorry we're late."

"It's alright. Please, take a seat. Are they who I think they are?" Tohma asked Red.

"Oh, sorry for my rudeness. Yes, they are. This is Jed, and this is his sister, Kat." Red said to everyone as he took a set beside Tohma.

"Nice to meet all of you!" Kat cheerfully said to everyone on the table as she sat down. "Same here." Jed simply said to them as he took his own seat.

"Don't you have any last names, na no da!" Ryuichi beamed at them.

"We don't need one." Jed fired back at him giving him a death glare.

Kat nudged him slightly in the stomach as she smiled at Ryuichi. "Excuse my brother for saying awful things. We don't have last names because it sounds cooler. Don't you think so?"

"Hai!" Ryuichi said to her happily. Kat simply smiled back.

Jed noticed that Yuki Eiri was still staring at him. Though, he won't admit it vocally, he's starting to give him the creeps.

'If that's what you want. Two can play this staring game.' Jed then fixed his gaze directly on Yuki's. He had no expression on his face. He just looked at him, directly into his eyes. They stayed like that for a few minutes.

"You know what? You look really familiar..." At the sound of the term "familiar", Jed broke his gaze with Yuki and looked at Ryuichi who is sitting opposite of him. "Really? Who do I remind you of?" Jed said to Ryuichi a bit curiously.

After a few moments, Ryuichi beamed at him.

"Shu-chan! You look so much like Shuichi!" Ryuichi said to him happily, shocking everyone seated at the table. All eyes were now on Jed at the mention of the pink-haired singer.

'Shuichi... hmmm... I've heard of that name.' Jed tried to recall all the files he had read. "Ah, the singer..." Jed finally realized.

"You know him?" Hiro asked, intrigues as to why this man knew his bestfriend..

"No. But I've read a little about him. He was Bad Luck's vocalist. Seven years ago, he was declared missing and three years ago, he was assumed dead. Am I correct?" Jed said in a monotonous voice. "There were no pictures of him, though. People say it is to show respect for his death so I never got to see his face."

"How do you know these things?" K asked a bit suspiciously.

"I'd like to know who I'm working with." Jed simply said to them.

'So that's why Yuki Eiri is staring at me. I remind him of his ex-lover who was assumed dead. This could be harder than I thought...'

* * *

'Ryuichi's right. He does look a lot like Shuichi. There is a great amount of physical difference though. He is taller. He has light brown hair while Shuichi has pink. He has brown eyes, while Shuichi has violet. But the shape of his face is the same as Shuichi's. But he is colder... he is even colder than I am. His eyes show it.' Yuki thought after hearing Ryuichi's comment on Jed's looks.

'But why do I feel so drawn to him?' Yuki thought to himself as he glanced at Jed. 'It's like I know him... or something...' Yuki just looked at the table as he thought why he felt that way towards a guy he doesn't even know.

"Eiri-san, are you alright?" Tohma asked to his brother-in-law.

"Huh? Oh, yeah... of course." Yuki replied. 'Why wouldn't I?'

"By the way, I'm sorry." Yuki looked up as he heard that deep voice. "I might give people the impression that I'm a bastard, but I'm not insensitive."

"What do you mean?" Yuki asked Jed, matching his coldness.

"I know that he was somewhat _important_ to you and for that I am sorry for reminding you of him." Jed said, still without any emotion whatsoever in his voice.

'You call that an apology?' Yuki thought as he looked straight into his brown eyes. "Yeah, whatever." he replied.

* * *

"Here are your orders." The waitress cheerfully said to the group seated.

'Finally, food! I'm famished!' Jed didn't eat a single thing for the whole day. Kat dragged him out of their apartment early in the morning. He wanted to get on a plane and just get it over it. But, no. Kat wanted to take her car to Tokyo. She said that it's too important and she certainly can't go anywhere without it. Rather than hearing his sister whine and complain during the whole trip, he just put his bag in Kat's car. He took his own motorcycle out of the garage and offered a ride to Red. Unaware of Kat's driving antics, Red said that he would be more comfortable riding in a car than in a motorcycle. 'Poor thing. He certainly can't eat with all the swirling inside that stomach of his.' Jed was about to feel sympathy for his friend when he thought that he was the one responsible why he's so hungry right now. 'Serves him right.'

* * *

"So, Jed, how long have you been working as a bodyguard?" K asked Jed after swallowing his food.

"Just now." Jed said without looking to K but instead just concentrating in his food.

"'Just now'?" K asked again. "What do you mean 'just now'? That means you have no experience whatsoever in protecting people?"

Jed looked straight into his eyes before putting the siomai in his mouth. "Do I really have to answer that? You already answered your own question."

'Smartass.' K thought as he went back to concentrate on his food.

To cut the tension developing between the two, Kat broke the silence of the table. "We never worked as bodyguards before so it really is a new challenge for the both of us. But we assure you that there is no need for you to even have a shadow of a doubt of what we can do." Kat said, assuring K.

"That's good to hear then." K said to her with a smile.

* * *

Fujisaki can't keep his eyes off Kat who is seated right in front of him. He doesn't know why but the girl just have an atmosphere around her that makes her glow. 'The last time I checked, I hate the thought of having a bodyguard.' Fujisaki thought contradicting his own actions.

* * *

After dinner, Seguchi Tohma started introducing the guests of the table.

"As you might have suspected, these are new bodyguards." Tohma started. "Kat would be Bad Luck's while Jed would be Eiri-san's. Red acts like their manager but cannot really be considered as one. He is their friend and he is the one possible for them to be here." Red simply smiled to the people seated. "Like what Kat had said earlier, you shouldn't doubt their capacities because I, myself, handpicked them to be your protectors. So there's really know need to worry." Tohma continued. "Kat would be living right next door to Fujisaki." At the sound of this, Fujisaki suddenly looked up to his cousin with a big confused WHAT? on his face. "While Jed would be living with you, Eiri-san. Will that be alright with you?" Tohma eyed his brother-in-law.

"Do I have a choice?" Yuki asked Tohma.

"Actually, no." Tohma said while smiling at him.

"Then why ask." Yuki said breaking eye contact.

"Great! It's settle then. You have the whole weekend to familiarize yourselves with your new acquaintances. Bad Luck, I'll be seeing you on Monday. It's late. We should all go home, then." Tohma gleefully said to them as he stood up. "Good night." After hearing all of his guests reciprocate his greetings, he turned around and proceeded to his car in the parking lot of the restaurant.

'I do hope this is a good idea...' Tohma thought as he approached his car.

(",) tbc (",)

* * *

**Author's notes:**

Hope you like it... There is still a lot to come. Some twists and some revelations. Hope you won't get tired of reading it.  
I never really expected that some people would actually review this story... wow! thanks! a lot! (yeah... I think that's all I can say...) PEACE OUT!

* * *


	3. home

* * *

**_CHAPTER THREE  
Home_**

* * *

They all just sat there, looking at each other in such an awkward manner.

Finally, Red broke the ice. "So... uhm... How about let's get acquainted with each other? I was introduced by Seguchi-san, but he never really introduced you guys. Who wants to start?" He asked the six people in front of him as he leaned forward to the table.

"Ooooohhhh... Introductions! I love introductions! Don't you, Kumagorou?" Ryuichi asked his stuffed bunny, and shockingly, it nodded. "My name is Sakuma Ryuichi. I am Bad Luck's vocalist." The raven-haired singer said to Red in a very cheerful voice.

"Who's next?" Red asked them.

"I'm Nakano Hiroshi and the band's guitarist."

"My name is Suguru Fujisaki. I'm the keyboardist of the band. I also arrange the music for the songs we make."

"Wow..." Kat said a bit amazed by Fujisaki's descriptions of himself.

"I beg your pardon?" Fujisaki looked up and asked her kindly.

"How old are you? Like 25, right? That's the same age as I am. These guys you're working with are a _lot_ older than you are but, still, you end up placing the finishing touches for your songs. I can't even sing in the shower let alone arrange music concerning numerous complications. That's really impressive." Kat told him with a smile on her face.

"Thank you." Fujisaki smiled at her and they just stayed like that for a few minutes until

"Great, puppy love." Jed broke their gazes. Kat just glared at him clearly saying, "What is that supposed to mean?" Instead of offering Kat an explanation, Jed just looked away from her.

"Let's continue...?" Red said with a smile on his face.

"I'm Sakano and I'm the band's producer."

"You can call me K. I'm their manager."

"Oh, yes. I've heard of you. You like guns, don't you? I could show you mine if you want, though some are back at home, but I still brought some with me. I would really like to hear some suggestions for some new snipers. Jed here doesn't really like guns that much, but he's really good at handling one." Kat said to K. This absolutely sent shivers down Sakano's spine considering that there were now _two_ people who fancied guns.

"Hmmm... that could be a good idea. Sure why not?" K said to her. "Great!" Kat replied.

"I need to get out of here." Jed mumbled in between breaths.

"So, how about you?" Red asked to a certain blonde at the end of the table.

Yuki looked at him and shrugged, "What's there to say? I'm Yuki Eiri. Romance novelist. That's all."

"If you're a novelist then you surely have a pen name. So is 'Yuki Eiri' a pen name?" Red asked Yuki politely. "My real name is Uesugi Eiri. So, yes, that means 'Yuki Eiri' is my pen name." Yuki simply replied.

"Oh." was all Red could say.

"It's getting late. We should get going. Kat would be with you on Monday." He said to the band. He then faced Kat, "We're going to sleep in a hotel for a while. I'll help you move in during the weekend." Kat just nodded to what she was told. "And as for you," Red faced Jed. "You are going to start living with your client tonight. He lives just down the street, if the information given to me was correct." Red received a single nod from Jed. "Good. It's really nice meeting all of you. Good night." Red said to all of them.

All stood up from the table and proceeded to exit the restaurant.

* * *

'I really need to get back to this restaurant. The food was great.' Jed thought to himself as he looked up at the building. He noticed that the band and Yuki Eiri were just standing behind him. "Yo, Jed!" Kat called him over.

Jed approached the Jaguar in front of his motorcycle and proceeded to its trunk. "Here's your stuff. Your sling bag, everything's there, I think. Cellphone, i-pod, palmtop, wallet, sunglasses, extra shirt, handkerchief and a pistol." Jed looked at her dangerously at the mention of the last object inside his bag. "In case of emergency." Kat said sheepishly. "Jeez... I don't know why you act so harsh on a small thing. You handle snipers _and_ machine guns, why not a tiny little pistol?"

Then she handed him a sports bag. "Here's your luggage. I don't really know how you can call that thing your luggage. It's too small. I could never think how I can live with that for three months." Jed just looked at her and said, "That's because you're a girl." Kat just looked at him and replied, "Whatever."

Jed rummaged into the bag. "Where's my laptop?" Kat took the bag from him and dug deeper into the bag. She opened a built-in zipper which revealed a flat compartment with cushions all over it. "There." She pointed to the slim silver metallic box laid under Jed's clothes. "I customized the bag so that you can put your laptop in it without anyone recognizing it. Pretty nice, eh?" She said as she turned around and bent down to retrieve one last thing for her brother.

"And here. You're most prized possession." She handed him a katana that had a maroon handle. It was very heavy but Jed took it from her like it was just some piece of plastic.

* * *

Yuki Eiri just patiently watched as Kat gave Jed his belongings. He saw Kat tiptoed and leaned closer to Jed to whisper something in his ears. To her convenience, Jed also leaned closer to her. After Kat whispered some things to him, Jed looked into her eyes and _smiled_.

'I can't believe it! The cold bastard just smiled!' Yuki thought a little wide-eyed of what he just witnessed, though after noting that Jed looked better after the smile.

Then he saw Jed pat Kat's head like what a guy would do after his dog fetched him a Frisbee.

'They must be really close.' Yuki thought after seeing the siblings say their goodbyes. 'I wonder why me and Mika never got along that well.' At the thought of his sister yelling, cursing and practically ready to kill him, he changed his train of thoughts. 'Yeah, right. _That's_ why.'

Jed walked towards Yuki after saying goodbye to Red and the band. He looked him straight in the eye - brown meeting amber, "So, where's your crib?" Jed asked. Yuki looked away and said, "It's just down the street. Just follow"

"You want a ride?" Jed asked him as he was carefully placing his luggage on the motorcycle, carefully estimating its weight balance. Yuki looked at the motorcycle thoroughly.

'Cars I can handle, its these things I can't. Especially if it's his waist that I have to hold onto for the whole time.' "No, thanks." He simply replied and walked towards his flat.

After a few moments, Jed put his helmet on with no cover. He started the engine and followed slowly to the tall figure in front of him, though he was never used to drive his bike slowly.

"Hey, Eiri-san!" a feminine voice called over to the blonde. Yuki merely looked back, the wind gently messing up his hair in the process of doing so. "Do me a favor and look after him. He can be a pain but he's still human. Thanks!" Kat shouted to him as she waved at him.

"And Jed," Jed looked back at his sister, "Take care of yourself and don't you dare mess things up!" Jed smiled at her using his eyes because she can't really see his mouth.

'I thought I was the one who he was supposed to be protecting. Then why is his sister telling me that it's the other way around.' Yuki thought as he resumed to walk to his apartment still with Jed following him.

* * *

Blank. It was pure blank. Lifeless and no essence whatsoever. 'Who the hell can live in a place as blunt as this?' Jed thought as he gathered his bags and katana from the floor and walked through the door of his house for the next three months.

"Just feel at" Yuki told him as he closed the door.

"Home." Jed finished the sentence for him. He can't understand it but there was something about Yuki Eiri's apartment. Sure, at first it looks like some apartment with a few furniture and plain boring, but there was just something about the place which made Jed finish Yuki's sentence for him.

_ Home_.

But he already had one back at Kumamoto, with Kat. But why does he feel like this was also _his _home?

"Yeah... Look, there are three rooms here. One's mine, the other's my study, and the other is the guest room. You may stay there, just don't misplace anything that's already there. The bathroom's down the hallway and the kitchen is right there." Yuki told Jed as he pointed towards the kitchen.

Before Yuki could go down the hallway and into his bedroom, Jed called him. "Hey," Yuki turned around to look at him, "what can I call you?"

Yuki arched an eyebrow at the unusual question.

"I mean I don't really know what to call you because you have different names. Uesugi-san, Eiri-san, Yuki-san, Eiri, _Boss_?"

"You can call me Yuki." Yuki told him as he turned around and proceeded to his bedroom.

'Yuki... snow... I guess that could do.' Jed proceeded to his own bedroom after having that little conversation with Yuki.

He opened the door and peeked inside, as if making sure there really was nobody staying there. After confirming himself that there was no one else inside the room, he opened the door wide and looked at his new room.

It looked pretty cozy. A single bed with brown sheets. It had 2 pillows and a comforter neatly placed on it as if anticipating that a guest was coming. He sat down at the edge of the bed and looked around. There were a few posters of Nittle Grasper on the wall, at least two of them. At the edge of the room, a stack of CDs were neatly placed to avoid inconvenience. His bed was just beside the window and at the other side of it was a bedside table and a lamp. In front of him was the closet and beside it was a keyboard covered by a black cloth. It was obvious that it hadn't been used for years because the cloth already had a great amount of dust on it.

He slowly approached the keyboard and touched the cover. Though it was very dusty, he removed the cover and put it down the floor. It was a Roland keyboard complete with a MIDI system and accompaniment. He plugged it in and turned it on. He set the tune to grand piano and started pressing keys. Fortunately there was a chair at the bedside table. He took it and seated himself comfortably to face the keys in front of him.

It was as though something came over him and the next thing he knew, he was playing on the keyboard like it was the most natural thing to do. What shocked him the most was exactly _how_ he did that, but something inside him just wanted to continue, so he did.

The melody he was playing was not popular and not really that catchy but it was a bit _familiar_. He abruptly stopped what he was doing after sensing that somebody was looking at him. He looked at the doorframe and there he was, his client, right in the middle of the doorway staring at him.

"Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to" Jed started to explain but he was cut off by Yuki. "How did you know that song?" Yuki asked, staring right into his eyes.

That was exactly the question Jed was looking for, but he can't let Yuki know that. He just had to play it safe. "Oh, that. A friend of mine taught me how to play the song. He's a really good pianist though kind of stupid." Jed lied to Yuki as he pulled the plug and put the cover back on top.

"Oh... I just came here to tell you that I'm going to have a breakfast meeting. So you have to be early." Yuki turned around to go back to his room when he remembered something, "Oh, yeah. Since your my bodyguard, you have to know my appointments because I don't have the time_ nor_ the will to tell you where I want and need to go."

Jed looked at the empty doorway that was once occupied by Yuki Eiri. 'That bastard! What does he think I am? A freakin' secretary? I am so going to get him for this.' Jed went to the door, closed it and walked towards his bed. He changed into his boxers and prepared himself for a good night sleep. Besides, the fatigue he was through is even worse than a jetlag. So in a few minutes, he dozed off peacefully.

* * *

Yuki paced back into his room while thinking about what he just saw. 'How could Jed know that song? As far as I know, only _he _knows the melody of that song...' Yuki still can't take the scene out of his head. It just bothered him why Jed knew the song that Shuichi made. He still remembered it clearly...

**_flashback_**

Yuki was laid on the couch with his head resting on Shuichi's lap. Shuichi was combing Yuki's blonde locks with his hands. Then Shuichi started humming a new melody.

Yuki turned to face Shuichi whose head is just above him. "A new one?"

Shuichi smiled sweetly at him while giving him a silent nod. "It's good..." Yuki heard himself say to his lover after turning back, head still resting on the boy's lap with the back of his head facing Shuichi's stomach.

"Isn't it? I just thought of it a few days ago. I've never told anyone about it yet. Nobody heard it before too, well except for you because I'm humming it to you right now, I mean a while ago. Anyways, I don't have the proper lyrics for it yet, but I'll have it very soon. It's really special because I made it for _us._" Shuichi smiled at the thought of whom the song was for. "Although I don't have the lyrics for it yet, I already have the perfect title: Sweetest Goodbye..."

"Goodbye...?" Yuki wondered why the song's title has the word "goodbye" and yet it talks about their relationship. Does Shuichi want to leave him? What if the song talks about their relationship but also how it ended? Yuki would never know what to do if Shuichi leaves him. But Yuki assured himself, 'He won't leave me. He loves me and he knows I love him too.'

Sensing Yuki's awkwardness at the title of his new song, Shuichi quickly supplied the missing information for his lover. "The song talks about what I thought of you when we first met," Shuichi started calmly, "and how I loved you more everyday. Don't worry about the title. You'll just have to listen to me sing it to understand the full meaning of both the song and its title."

"Who said I was worried?" Yuki said feeling relieved that the song offered to him had nothing to do with his thoughts earlier.

Shuichi looked down at the side of his head which rested on his lap peacefully. He smiled sweetly and bent down to whisper in his ear. "You are _such_ a denial king, Yuki..."

Yuki turned his head and glared at him. Shuichi took the advantage and locked their lips together, a simple yet a strong kiss. Shuichi pulled away and opened his eyes to look straight into Yuki's amber ones. "But I still love you..."

Yuki sat up straight and faced his lover. He put his palm on Shuichi's left cheek and caressed it while looking intently onto his violet eyes. "Love you too."

Shuichi smiled warmly at him and kissed him again, this time full of passion and love.

**_end of flashback_**

'Maybe he's right. It's been seven years. Maybe somebody thought of the melody and maybe that somebody was one of Jed's acquaintances.' Yuki thought as he sat on the edge of his bed. 'I shouldn't stress myself on senseless things.' He swung his legs to the bed and laid on his stomach. Minutes after, he was fast asleep.

* * *

**Author's notes:**

Yo, what's up? Would just like to send some shout outs to the three people who reviewed. Seriously, I never really thought that somebody would actually review, but thanks a lot.

Hope you'll all like the story... I mean the whole thing. I have a plot for it but I don't really know how to put it into words. That's one of the reasons why it takes my such a long time to post some new chapters.

Thanks a lot and just keep on reading. peace out!

* * *


	4. blood and tears

* * *

**_CHAPTER FOUR  
Blood and Tears_**

* * *

Darkness. It was everywhere. Everywhere he looked there was nothing. All was just plain black. Then something blinded him from the darkness making him face away. It was a really bright light. Then he heard noises. God, there was just too much noise that he felt like his head was going to explode.

'Why are they so noisy. I just wanted some peace. I just wanted to sleep. Why can't they just leave me alone?'

Distinctly, he heard the pumping of his own heart. It was strong, serving its purpose fully. Then something happened. It started to beat slowly. So slow that it was making him hard to breathe. It frightened him so much that he just wanted to open his eyes. But nothing happened. Every part of him doesn't want to move. Then, everything just stopped.

Jed awoke with a start after having another nightmare. He brought his hand up to wipe off trickles of sweat from his forehead. He combed his hand through his hair. He looked at the luminous digital clock on his bedside table: 4:30 a.m. Fully awake now, he stood up and proceeded to the bathroom down the hallway of the apartment.

It had been a month since he had been in Yuki Eiri's home. Actually, it wasn't really that hard to get along with a person like the author. They didn't talk that much so conversations were really not that much appreciated. He was really grateful for that because he didn't want to talk about his life to a total stranger.

He arrived at the bathroom and proceeded to the sink. He turned the knob of the faucet and let the water flow. He looked at it, mesmerized by the flowing water. Then, he cupped the water in both of his hands and splashed it to his face. He did this a couple of times and looked back at the sink. He noticed that there was something wrong with the water. It was tainted with something. He looked closely and then he finally had a clear view of it.

Blood.

He brought his hand to his nostrils and put it back to view. There it was. Blood. He looked at the mirror above the sink and looked closely at his injured nose. 'It's bleeding again. This only means one thing,' he thought as he grabbed a dark towel from the railings. He wiped the water as well as the blood from his face and strolled to the kitchen.

'A memory.'

He approached the fridge and got a beer. With that, he walked straight to the couch and plopped down on the sofa of the living room. He looked straight ahead and noticed that it was raining. He stood up and paced through the living room to the large window. He put his hand on the glass and felt the coldness traveling through him. He hadn't realized that it was so cold until that moment. Especially considering the fact that he was only wearing his boxers. He opened his can of beer and let the bitter liquid travel through his throat.

Then he heard something. Someone was crying. He looked to his right and there she was. A woman in her early twenties in her undergarments with her hands holding all of her belongings. She looked at him and quickly looked the other way avoiding his gaze.

He walked to her. He was a bit shocked to see the girl step back in response to his actions but his eyes didn't show it. "I won't hurt you. Look, take a shower. Dress up. It's still early. By the time you finished, I'll fix you up with a nice cup of tea." She looked at him disbelievingly then obeyed his advice.

Jed eyed the girl go to the bathroom and heard water running. He put his beer on the coffee table and walked to the kitchen. Like promised, he fixed her up with a steaming cup of green tea.

That was the third girl he had seen crying in the apartment early in the morning. The bastard took her home last night. It was her fault though. Jed was certain that Yuki wasn't really interested in the girl but she just kept on throwing herself into his arms every five minutes so that's what happened.

The author sleeps, the girl's heart gets broken, she cries, while Jed gives her some green tea to clear her thoughts. For the other two he had done this and that is why he is doing it to the third one too. The cycle's really stupid but as long as it didn't affect him, he didn't give a damn. He just hated to see women crying, especially those who were close to his sister's age, over a worthless guy who loves no one but himself.

"Why are you doing this?" a feminine voice spoke through the darkness of the apartment. She was fully dressed as she entered the silent kitchen while eyeing the man who just offered her a hot beverage.

"I don't know." Jed simply said as he poured the tea on a mug and gave it to her. After that, he walked back to the coffee table, retrieved his beer, and went back to observing the rain falling from the skies.

To Jed's surprise, the girl followed him and settled beside him. Standing, and like him, staring into nothingness. "I'm Ran. What's your name?" the girl asked him while looking into his brown eyes.

Jed simply looked blankly at her for a few moments then looked back out of the window.

"Just asking." The girl said as she sipped the tea silently. "Thanks, anyway, uhm... for this.. I mean, the tea... and uhm... for the... well, you know... the shower..."

"Hn." was the only thing the girl heard from him as he sipped from his can of beer.

"You won't get anything from him. He's not a sociable person." Jed recognized that deep voice. He looked to his right and he saw the blonde wearing a worn out t-shirt and a pair of pants. Yuki was leaning on the hallway while eyeing the two people who were in front of the window.

Jed simply looked at him and returned his gaze to the rain. 'Rain... Why are the angels crying again?'

"Yuki-sama..." Jed heard the girl beside him whisper. She looked down on her mug and placed it on the coffee table behind her. Jed eyed her movements from the corner of his eye. She got her bag which she left on the sofa and paced back to Jed. "Thank you." Ran smiled sweetly at him. She was about to leave when she remembered something. "You should really put something on. It's freezing. Besides, with biceps, a six-pack, and with a rock-hard chest like that, I was surprised I didn't hit on you earlier."

Jed looked at her with his piercing eyes which sent Ran goosebumps. He turned his back on her and calmly said in a deep voice, "You're welcome." Ran smiled at the simple gesture and with that, she left the apartment.

* * *

Ran was right, though. Jed had an amazing body. It was well-built but not bulky. He looked really skinny but the truth is, behind those loose clothes, was an Adonis in disguise. Yuki looked at him from head to toe. Yes, the guy in front of him is way beyond gorgeous, especially after seeing him in_ only_ his boxers. Then something happened.

Yuki was shocked to see that Jed dropped his can on the floor spilling beer on the hardwood floor. He looked at the can of beer and back to Jed. He saw him kneeling and holding his head, ready to pull his hair out. Yuki didn't really understand it, but he was worried. _Really_ worried. He rushed to his bodyguard's side and put his arm on his waist as he guided him to the sofa.

"Jed!" Yuki almost shouted as he put his hands over his shoulders and shook him lightly. 'God, what is happening to him?'

Yuki listened to him shout in pain still with his hands on his head. He noticed that there were drops of liquid on the floor right in front of Jed. When he realized what it was - he was as scared as hell.

"Jed! Listen to me!" Now he was shouting. He really didn't care how much emotion he was showing but there was just something about the guy beside him that is making him care too much. "Jed!"

"Leave me alone! Please, just leave me alone!" Jed shouted as he pulled his hair in frustration. His eyes were closed shut that it seems like it's going at the back of his skull.

Yuki could only stare at him in horror.

With no option left, he put his strong hands on the smaller guy's shoulders and did the most unthinkable. "I'm sorry." was his final words as he closed his eyes and brought Jed closer to him.

* * *

Jed's eyes snapped open as he realized what was happening. He was kissing him. He was kissing the guy he despised so much. He stared disbelievingly at the figure so close to him. Then he felt something in him stir. It was something he never felt before but somehow it was so recognizable. He couldn't quite place it but something about it felt right. But as soon as he felt Yuki's tongue part his lips to gain entrance, he pushed back and suddenly stood up.

"What the hell did you think were you just doing?" Jed shouted at him.

"It was the only way." Yuki fired back glancing at the droplets of liquid on the floor. Jed noticed, then followed his gaze on the floor.

Then he saw it. The liquids on it. He brought his hand over his nose and there it was again. Blood. Then on his cheeks. Tears.

Blood and Tears.

Then it dawned on him. He had another one. Another one of those damned memory. Why wouldn't they just leave him alone? He is living a perfectly normal life, well, except for all the assassinations they did for a living, but still he was happy.

He wiped the blood off his nose using the back of his hand and the tears with the other. He looked straight into the blonde's amber eyes and calmly said, "Sorry... and thanks."

He went to the bathroom as he grabbed a towel and went back to the living room. He kneeled in front of the stains and quickly mopped it off, careful not to leave anything behind.

As he stood up, he heard Yuki call to him, "What was that all about?"

"It's none of your business." He simply said to him.

"It _is_ my business. If you have some kind of a disease or something, I should know. I don't want to have a dead body delivered to my doorstep. Besides, who knows, it might be contagious." Yuki said as he settled himself on the sofa.

"I'm not sick and I'm not going to die," Jed replied with certainty in his voice, "so you don't have to worry about anything. Just do me a favor. If ever I begin to do that again, phone my sister." He walked back to the bathroom and put the towel in the laundry basket. He then proceeded to his room to prepare for another day.

* * *

As he closed the door, he sat on his bed and began refreshing his mind of what just happened. There was another one. Another memory. Of his past, of his life. But there was still nothing he can understand about it. It was all a blur. He knows one thing, though. The images he saw were all the same, or somewhat like that.

Every one of them started in darkness. Then a ray of light cut through the darkness and blinded his eyes just for a few moments. Then there was noise, a hell lot of it. Then everything just stopped. After that, he wakes up, profusely sweating and finds his nose bleeding.

He looked at the wounds on his wrist.

For so many times he had tried to stop it. He tried to stop it making him hurt so much. Everytime he remembered something, everything _in_ him cries in agony. He just wanted it all to stop.

'These things have to end... They're fucking killing me.' Jed thought as he massaged his temples. He look at his wristwatch, he always wears one even when he was sleeping. 5:30 a.m. 'Let's see, Yuki has a breakfast meeting with his publisher this morning at around eight.' Jed thought as he remembered his client's appointments for the day.

'Yuki...'

Jed remembered what just happened earlier. He touched his lips lightly as he recalled how the older man made him feel.

'God, I'm pathetic!' He thought as he shook him of the images of Yuki forming in his head. 'I shouldn't be like this. I don't_ deserve_ to be like this.'

'There's still time. I have to get out.' And with that, he got a loose navy blue shirt and a pair of black jeans from his closet. He got his usual pair of sneakers and put them on. Then he went to see his reflection on the mirror. 'God, I look like hell...' He got a comb from the drawer and combed it through his light brown hair. He got a towel from one of his bottom drawers and patted it on his face. After all that, he took his black leather trench coat which laid on his bed and got his katana which stood beside his bed. Then he got out of his room.

"I'm going out." He said as he glanced at the author sitting on the sofa. "I'll be here before you go to your morning appointment."

"Whatever." Yuki waved his hand to signal that he didn't give a damn.

He strode to the door and opened it. But as soon as he did, his eyes grew wide.

* * *

"Jed!" Kat shouted. She was about to knock on the door when she saw her brother open it.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Jed glared.

"God, I missed you so much!" She said as she hugged her brother tightly, oblivious to his stare. After that, she guided herself through the door and into the apartment. She sat on the sofa beside Yuki.

"Good morning, Yuki-san!" She cheerfully said as she smiled to Yuki. "Hn." was Yuki's reply.

"Out." Jed calmly said as he glared at Kat.

Kat pouted while crossing her arms. Then something caught her eyes. Just in front of the window was a can of beer with spilled liquid just behind it. Then she saw something which guided her eyes to the sofa. On the floor was something she couldn't quite distinguish. She stood up and brought her fingertips to the floor. She touched it and after feeling that it was still warm, she looked straight into Jed's eyes. As soon as she did, Jed looked away from her, somewhat ashamed of what she was about to say.

"I told you to get out." Jed said calmly, still refusing to meet gazes with his sister.

"Jed..." Kat said with sympathy in her voice. She stood up straight and faced Jed. "Another one?"

Jed nodded in reply with her question. "It's still the same... It's _all_ the same." Jed looked at Yuki then back at Kat. "Look, I don't want to talk about this here. Let's get out of here."

"No." Kat said with a finality in her voice. "Why didn't you tell me anything about this? And why were you drinking beer again? I thought you already stopped. We've talked about this, Jed!" Jed was about to say something when she cut him off, "And don't you ever deny that you were just recently drinking. I doubt that Yuki-san would drink right in front of the window when it is, _coincidentally_, raining. I know you, Jed."

"I'm serious, Kat. Not _here_." He said to Kat as he glanced at the blonde sitting on the sofa.

Kat understand the pleadings of his brother and breathed deeply. "Fine," she said "c'mon." She grabbed his arm and exited the door of the apartment.

* * *

Yuki blinked in confusion as the events earlier processed in his head. 'Another _what?_' Something was terribly wrong. 'I told Tohma getting a bodyguard would be a bad idea.'

He stood up and went to the bathroom to take a nice hot shower. He stripped naked and stepped into the running water. The water massaged his entire body. He looked straight to the wall as he remembered what just happened minutes ago.

When he saw Jed screaming in pain, something inside him wanted to hug the guy. He wanted to know what was hurting him so much and take it all away. But the question was why? Why was he feeling such things for a total stranger?

'Because I feel like I've know him all my life.' Great, now he sounded like one of the characters in his novels.

His lips were soft, Yuki could give him that. Although he was cold in the outside, he was burning up inside. Yuki could still feel the warmth in his own mouth. He tasted sweet and full of life. There was only one person that tasted like that.

"Shuichi..."

He shook his head violently at the thought. Jed could never compare to Shuichi. Shuichi was the man he loved. Shu was the light while Jed was dark. Shu was warm to others while Jed was the total opposite, ignoring everyone around him. Jed was far different from his Shuichi.

With that, he promised to himself that he wouldn't ever do something that would give him the chance to compare the two.

He closed his eyes and brought his head up as he felt the droplets touch his face.

* * *

**Author's notes:**

Yep, another one! I got the name Ran from the series Super Gals. She's like a cameo in this chapter. The bleeding? I did some research and found out that when the brain gets_ really_ worked up, one's nose just start bleeding. I'm still working on the next chapter so patience...

salamat sa lahat!

* * *


	5. revelations

* * *

**_CHAPTER FIVE  
Revelations_**

* * *

"Since when did it started happening again?" Kat asked the man seated in front of her.

They were in a coffee shop just a few blocks away from Yuki Eiri's apartment. And now they were here, looking intently in their mugs as they talk.

"Ever since I got to the apartment." Jed replied.

"Let me look at your hands." Kat instructed after locking gazes with him. "Why?" Jed asked.

"I know what you do. You think that inflicting wounds on your arm would lessen the pain that you were feeling. So stop being such a child and give me your arm." Kat said, now glaring at her older brother.

"I didn't do anything..." Jed said as he guided his arm to Kat's line of view. As soon as he saw Kat's widened eyes at what she saw, Jed automatically said, "Well, except for the first ones. They really did hurt."

"Jed..." Kat closed her eyes after seeing the fresh wounds on her brother's arm which was covered by the sleeves of his trench coat. Then she opened her eyes and scowled at him, "Are you crazy?" Kat almost shouted. "Your nose is already bleeding and still you cut yourself! Do you really want to suck yourself dry? What is the fucking matter with you?"

"This is better than what I used to do..." Jed calmly said as he gazed outside the window. It was still raining slightly.

"Bullshit!" Kat hissed. "Jed, please... Stop this. We'll figure out a way to make it stop from hurting. This is hurting me, you do know that, don't you?"

Jed looked at his sister's pained expression and nodded slightly. "We've been to every neurologist, Kat. The best in Japan. And they all have the same answer, 'Just be patient.' Well I'm running out of it."

"Then maybe that's what we need. Time. Much more of it." Kat said as she held Jed's hands in hers.

'The only problem is we _don't _have time...' Jed thought as he looked at their hands then to her.

"Promise me, Jed. No more cutting. For me?" Kat pleaded to her brother.

"And another thing. You have to tell Yuki-san about this." Jed was surprised at his sister's words.

"I'm not saying you have to tell him _everything_. You have to tell him about the things that make your nose bleed and make you shout out in pain. Besides, he's not the type to gossip so you don't really have to worry about anything. Remember, you _are_ living in his house."

Jed thought about it for a few minutes. "Fine." Jed said to his sister as he looked outside again. Kat only smiled at her brother's response.

"We have to get back. It's almost seven. Yuki has an appointment at eight." Jed said as he stood up.

"Hai." Kat returned to her cheerful mood as she grabbed her brother's hand and walked out of the shop. Jed only smiled at his sister's sudden mood changes.

* * *

Yuki was out in the balcony of his apartment as he drank his cup of coffee.

Then he saw him. He was hand in hand with a really beautiful girl.

The girl was chatting cheerfully as they approached Yuki's house. He was smiling at the girl who was also smiling at him. Then he saw them approach the Porsche Carrera GT parked on the sideway of the road. Jed kissed Kat's forehead and with that, she got into her car and accelerated through the streets. He never noticed until now how Jed looked when he smiled. He glowed when he smiled. He couldn't help feeling somewhat jealous of the closeness the siblings had.

Yuki looked at Jed who was still smiling as he watched his sister go. Then swiftly Jed locked gazes with him as if he sensed all along that his every move was being watched. Yuki was a bit shocked. He couldn't understand if he was embarrassed that he was just seen looking at him or if he was afraid that Jed's eyes could actually kill him.

He breathed deeply, hopefully unknowing to Jed, and with a final look at the young man on the streets, he turned around and went into his apartment.

* * *

'Why was he looking at me?' Jed now looked at the empty balcony of his home for another two months. He dismissed the thought as he entered the compound. He looked at his black Ducati Multistrada 620. He remembered the time when he changed his Yamaha with a Ducati because the former was too slow to keep up with Yuki's driving. So that's why he got a much faster motorcycle.

After he stepped out of the elevator, he got into the apartment. He went straight to living room, prepared to clean up the mess that was there an hour and a few minutes ago. He was surprised to see that everything was cleaned and there were no more signs of beer on the hardwood floor.

He proceeded to the hallway and saw that the lights were on in Yuki's study. 'He must be working on something.' Jed knows better than to disturb someone who was working. But in this case, it's now or never.

"Hey," Jed began while leaning on the wall beside the door. "Thank you for cleaning up the mess. I'm really sorry about all that." He sighed deeply. He recalled what Kat said in the coffee shop. 'She's right. For me to protect him fully, he has to trust me.' With another deep sigh, he started again.

"Look, I'm not really good with explaining things but I think it's time that you should know, considering that I have to be on your tail 24/7. Do me a favor and just don't open the door until I'm finished, ok? Ok..."

"I lied, about earlier." Jed tried to come up with the right words for his story. "I _am _sick and there's a chance that I might die because of it. It's not like what you think. I don't have cancer or whatever. I have some... issues. That thing you saw earlier, it was like a flashback about a painful memory that I didn't want to remember anymore."

'There, that was nice, in a way that I didn't really tell him that I _can't_ remember anything...'

"The reason Kat was so worried about me is that..." Jed swallowed before continuing, "I do a lot of stuff everytime I remembered those kind of things."

"And those things are?" Yuki asked as he opened the door and leaned on the opposite wall in front of Jed.

Jed's eyebrows furrowed at the sight of the author. "I told you not to come out until I'm finished."

"Hn." Yuki replied. "Continue..."

Jed looked at his eyes, amber meeting brown. Jed looked away and as asked, he continued, "Nicotine, alcohol, drugs..." Jed looked straight into Yuki's eyes before saying, "and suicide."

* * *

Yuki looked straight into his eyes. He mentally replayed the words that were just spoken to him, _Nicotine, alcohol drugs, and suicide._ He closed his eyes as he breathed deeply. When he opened his eyes, he saw Jed look away from him as if afraid of what he was about to say. People like him didn't want pity, which he knew. He understood Jed's situation because, like him, the last thing he ever wanted after the incident in New York was pity.

"I don't give a damn about the shit you do." He calmly said as he walked away from the guy in front of him, "Just don't kill yourself inside my house."

He observed Jed's reaction at the corner of his eye as he walked away from him. Jed smiled, it was small but it was heartfelt. He praised himself for being correct in thinking that the other didn't want any pity.

"I've got to meet Mizuki today." Yuki said coolly as he got his blazer from the sofa and exited the apartment. He noticed Jed following him from behind.

* * *

'That went well.' Jed thought as he smiled mentally. He was expecting the usual, "Oh you poor thing…" or the constant "Are you alright?" He hated those things. It kept on reminding him that something is terribly wrong with him. He was really thankful that Yuki did neither of those things. He should've known better. A person like Yuki didn't give a damn about others.

He didn't lie to Yuki, but he didn't also tell the truth.

Nicotine. He smoked before. At least a pack a day. It kept him calm and sane for the time being. Alcohol. He still drinks but not like before. He knows the consequences and that is why he was very thankful that he was not an addict to both vices.

The third and the fourth one, though, were a bit complicated.

Drugs, he had tried a lot of them. Ecstasy, marijuana, heroin. The "high" made him forget about all the pain he experienced. He could still remember the time when Kat was so mad at him when she found out that he was doing drugs. She cried so much that her eyes were swollen for at least two days. He couldn't understand why _she_ was the one who cried when it should've been him. After that, he tried hard to quit. He practiced his sword-fighting day and night. He went to skeet shooting ranges to practice his skills as a sniper. He occupied himself with more important things like keeping their business on the road.

Suicide. He could still count the times when he attempted it. He hadn't met Kat that time yet, so he was still at a loss and his head felt like it was going to explode any minute because of the damned flashbacks, which was all a blur by the way. He couldn't even remember how he survived all of it with only scratches on his body. He tried slashing his wrist four times. Drowning himself two times. He even stole sleeping pills from the hospital and tried using those a couple of times. Lastly, like some movies, he tried to jump off a bridge, once. Though he did all of these, someone or something _always_ kept him from dying. He couldn't quite place it but somehow it's like, it's not yet meant to be. He wanted to die a lot of times, but as time passed, he already accepted the fact that something was still in store for him.

So now, he settled for cutting himself. Something about the blood coming out of his skin kept him, well, okay. But he had to stop it, he knew that. At least for his sister. The last thing he wanted was to see his sister sad.

He also settled for strawberry pocky. It was something introduced to him by Kat. She said it could be an alternative for the vices he did. Remarkably, it really helped. He even liked the treat. He even has at_ least _five boxes of it in his bag. It always made him smile to think how ironic it is. An assassin who loved to eat pocky... Now _that's_ a funny picture.

"Do you really have to bring that with you." His train of thoughts was suddenly cut when he heard a voice beside him. He looked at the thing that the blonde was referring to... His katana.

He looked at the man beside him in the elevator and said, "This is my weapon. Of course, I have to bring it with me wherever I go."

"Couldn't you have settled with a gun, instead?" Yuki asked as he looked back at the door of the lift.

"Bullets are traceable to guns. Though we stay anonymous when purchasing ours, we still have to be precautious. There is a slight possibility that the guns could be traced to us." He replied simply.

Yuki looked at him with an eyebrow raised.

"What?" Jed asked.

"You really kill people for a living?" Yuki asked after the ding, that announced that they've reached the ground floor.

Jed paused. "It's what I'm good at." Jed simply said as he exited the lift and proceeded to his motorcycle.

* * *

"Good morning Yuki-san. Would you like to order something? My treat." Mizuki, Yuki's editor, cheerfully said as she gave Yuki the menu.

They were in the recently opened Starbucks Café. It was an outdoor café which has tables with large blue umbrellas over it, matching both the colors of the table and the chair.

Mizuki looked at the man standing beside Yuki. He looked young and had light brown hair and eyes. She observed him from head to toe and stopped for a few minutes on the samurai sword he was holding with both hands in front of him. She looked at him and said, "And you are?" She noticed the man look at her with a blank expression and back at the streets. She looked at the blonde seated in front of her as he told the waitress what kind of coffee he wanted.

"Jed, my bodyguard." Yuki stated as he relaxed in his chair.

Mizuki merely smiled at the notion of the great Yuki Eiri having a bodyguard. "I never knew you were the "bodyguard" type, Yuki-san. I thought you hated those kind of men." She said as she sipped her cup of capuccino.

"I _do_." Yuki said as he looked straight into Mizuki, clearly emphasizing the present tense of his verbs.

"Then why did you get one?" Mizuki smiled as she noticed the author getting agitated.

"Long story." He replied.

"I've got all the time in the world." She said as she smirked at Yuki.

Yuki glared at her and with a vicious tone said, "Well, I don't. So cut the crap and tell me what this thing is all about."

Mizuki just laughed at the outburst. "Always the impatient one, Yuki Eiri. Alright then, let's get down to business. But first," She looked at the bodyguard beside Yuki. "You could sit down, you know... Jed, right?" Jed looked at her and coolly said, "Don't mind me. I'm fine." Then he looked away again.

"Alright then." She faced Yuki. "Yuki-san, we can't publish your books within two months. We could only publish it within at _least_ four months, so by then, you would be in America." Mizuki said as she sipped her coffee again, still looking at Yuki's eyes.

"Do something about it." Yuki stated with no expression in his voice.

"Excuse me?" she asked.

"I _said_, do something about it." Yuki repeated. "I want the books published before I go. I want it done with_in_ two months."

Now it was Mizuki's chance to burst. "Are you joking? Who do you think you are?" Mizuki breathed deeply to calm her nerves. "This is the best we could do, Yuki-san. This is the best _I_ could do. It's your fault anyway, you missed the deadline so don't you _dare_ blame us for cramming." She took a final sip from her coffee and stood up. She grabbed her purse from the table. "Goodbye, Yuki-san." She looked at the brown-haired guy standing. "Goodbye, Jed and seriously, you should sit down. You stand out too much." And with a last look at the author, left the café.

* * *

Jed looked at Mizuki get into her car, a bit bewildered about what she said ealier. 'Standing out?' He gazed at all the people around him and almost all of them were looking at him. He could see some school girls giggling as soon as he caught sight of their table. Majority of them were looking at him, specifically his katana. 'I _am_ standing out.' He hid his katana in his trench coat and sat on the chair opposite to Yuki which was occupied by the editor a few moments ago.

"Unbelievable." He heard Yuki whisper. Jed just couldn't stop himself. He had to say it. "It's your fault."

Yuki looked at him, taken aback by his words.

"The world won't follow your every move. You have to follow _its_ moves." Jed started. "If they can't publish your book when you want it to be, you're just gonna have to settle for a later publishing. The important thing is it's being printed. If you really are an author, then that should be on top of your list."

After saying that, he saw Yuki bow his head in full concentration.

Then he saw a girl came up to the author, tapping his shoulders. "Yuki-sama?" the girl asked. 'Great, another one. I wonder if there's still some green tea bags in the cupboard.' Jed thought as he looked away.

Yuki silently nodded as he sipped his black coffee, clearly making it known to the girl that he wasn't in the mood for any flirtations. "I would like to ask you a question," Jed heard the girl say almost inaudible, "is he your lover?"

Jed's eyes immediately locked with Yuki's. They both had the same disbelieving expression.

"Hell no." Yuki coolly said after gaining composure.

"That's great."

Jed saw Yuki raise an eyebrow.

Then the girl continued, "Uhm... my friends, over there, was wondering if we could have your name or number." Jed thought she was talking to Yuki, but no, she was staring _directly_ at him. Sensing the awkwardness of the situation, the girl quickly continued, "It's just that we thought you were some kind of an image model or something..."

Jed breathed deeply and stared blankly at the girl in front of him. It was the first time he ever heard someone describe him as a handsome person, especially a stranger. Well, his sister, once said that he's got the looks but he had always dismissed the thought, keeping in mind that it _was _his sister saying such things.

He studied the girl. She was pretty, in the school girl kind of way. Any guy could definitely be attracted to this kind of girl in seconds.

"I'm not an image model." He said simply.

"Then why are you with him?" She motioned to the blonde beside her.

"I'm his bodyguard." Jed answered.

"So that was why you were standing like a statue beside him a few minutes ago..." the girl said as she rested her chin on her fingertips.

"This is pathetic." Jed heard Yuki hiss as he stood up and paid the bill. Jed also stood up to follow his client.

"Can you at least tell me what your name is?" He heard the girl call out.

Jed turned his head around to look directly at the girl. "Jed." He said in a monotonous voice.

Then he saw the girl smile widely and the girls behind her come up and somewhat teasing her for what she had just done.

He got into his sleek black motorcycle, put his helmet on, and followed suit to the black BMW in front of him.

* * *

**Author's Notes:**

I know this chapter's full of crap but at least something about Jed was revealed, right? The girl thing is just like something to show how good-looking Jed really is. I'll try my best to deliver better chapters next time. It's just that I got a lot of things to do and my brain is not really working at its full capacity. till next time, peace out!

_ayos lang, basta't kasama  
konting alak lang, kahit walang pulutan_

* * *


	6. visitation

* * *

**_CHAPTER SIX  
Visitation_**

* * *

Ding! It's the sound that indicated that they've reached their destination. Both men exited through the open doors and walked through the hallways.

They were in the NG Corporation building. It was one of the biggest buildings in all of Tokyo and in it are various artists hoping to have a glimpse of being in the limelight. Everything was clean. The floors were polished that made the marble somewhat sparkle. The walls were painted brownish cream that made it look extravagant and at the same time cozy. Every mahogany door that one passed by had a golden plate with inscriptions on it telling everyone who was inside the room.

And on the fifty-eight floor, which was the topmost floor of the building, was a long hallway which ended with a large white door that could be opened with two handles. On both sides of the door were two men in black suits, hands on their back, wearing sunglasses, had earpieces, and had blank expressions on their faces.

Yuki remembered the time when Tohma told him that he would have a bodyguard. He imagined that his would look _ exactly_ like these two. 'Guess I was wrong..' He thought to himself as he took a glimpse of Jed beside him.

He eyed the two men standing beside the door and with a nod, both of them took the handle and opened it as if they had just welcomed a prince to a grand ballroom.

The room was huge. It was carpeted all over, with a piano design in the middle. On the right side, was a large sofa and a coffee table. On one of the walls was a large Plasma TV with VCR, DVD and a HI-FI component just below it. On the other side of the room were numerous books carefully arranged by subject on wooden shelves. And on the center of the large room, just on top of the piano design, was a large mahogany table with at least four telephones, some stack of papers, a picture of a gorgeous family and a few figurines, most probably memorabilia from other countries. It was, without a doubt, amazing.

On a large leather-covered office chair sat a platinum blonde man. He was about forty years old, but his face showed nothing of aging. It was smooth and childlike. He was a bit petite and that contributed more to him being compared to a teenager. He looked at his guests and motioned for both of them to sit on the soft chairs just in front of the table.

"That's great. I'll call you later for the additional adjustments. I have some important matters to attend to. I'll talk to you later then. Goodbye."

He hung up the phone and smiled widely at both men in front of him. On his desk was a gold-plated with silver inscription on it reading: "Seguchi Tohma : President"

"It's very nice to see you, Eiri-san," He shifted his gaze to the brown-haired man beside the blonde, "and that goes for you too, Jed."

Jed just looked at him blankly and replied with a silent nod.

"You might want to see your sister while your here. The band's on the tenth floor. You could easily find their rehearsing room."

By then, Seguchi Tohma received a _ real_ response. Jed smiled a little and said, "Thank you, Seguchi-san." And with that, he stood up and proceeded to the door.

As soon as he got out, Tohma faced Yuki who started to light a cigarette.

"There's no smoking in here, Eiri." Yuki put the cigarette back to his pocket and looked directly into Tohma's eyes.

"What do you want from me?" Yuki asked.

"Just checking up..." Tohma replied. "So, how's Jed? Is he alright?" Tohma added quickly, "as a bodyguard, I mean."

"He's good. Though he doesn't really do anything other than stand beside me like some statue." Yuki said. "Seriously, Tohma, why do you pay this guy such a large amount of money just to be some sculpture next to me. I don't need this crap."

"Yes, you do." Tohma said calmly. "Trust me on this. Besides, there's only two more months to go before the contract's over."

"Contract?" Yuki asked as he replayed his brother-in-law's words.

"Yes, contract. Jed and Kat are professionals, so paperwork is a really big deal for them." Tohma said.

"Tohma, you do know that the guy who's always with me is an _assassin_. That means he _kills_ people _for_ money." Yuki said to Tohma still eyeing him straight in the eye.

"Yes, I know. But now, he _protects you_ for money. Big difference." Tohma coolly said, still smiling brightly at the blonde.

"This is ridiculous." Yuki snorted.

Tohma just smiled at his comment. 'Trust me, Eiri. This is for _both _of you.'

On the tenth floor were numerous rehearsal studios. Jed found himself almost going to every door in sight just to read the sign on it. 'I thought he said, 'It's easy to find'. Easy to find, my ass.' Finally, he found the door that had a sign which said, "Bad Luck". He sighed and turned the knob of the door.

As soon as he opened the door, it was _pure_ chaos. Everything was disarranged. A guy wearing eyeglasses, he remembered that his name was Sakano, was dancing really weird with tears streaming down his face.

'I'm not even sure if that _is_ dancing.'

Then he saw Fujisaki behind the keyboard, literally turning purple from frustration.

Hiro was just laughing at everything that was happening.

Jed looked for his sister through all the confusion. After he found that distinct brown hair, he walked up to it. He stopped in his tracks when he saw what she was doing. She was literally wrestling with the band's vocalist. Ryuichi was pinned down on the floor but was giggling. He was faced down with his right arm on his back which was held by Kat. 'Now _that's_ my sister.'

Then he saw K pull out his magnum and point it directly to... his sister!

Jed quickly moved with grace as he pulled out his katana and sliced the magnum in half. He could see K's shocked expression in the corner of his eye. After that, he turned on his heel and quickly placed himself at the back of the blonde. He place the sharp edge of his katana on the manager's neck and whispered to his ear, "Don't you _ever_ point a weapon at my sister, or I swear that you'll be dead before you know it."

Jed could see that K could feel the blade threatening to slice through his flesh. He was about to put the blade deeper when he heard a voice in front of him.

"Stop it." Kat said as she released her grip from Ryuichi and stood up.

She glared at Jed and like a wild animal obeying his master, Jed put down his weapon and placed it carefully to its sheath. He looked away from his sister's gaze and walked back a little to provide K some place to relax. As soon as he did, K held his throat and looked at his hand if there was any sign of blood. There was none, good.

"You shouldn't have done that." Kat said as she slowly walked towards her brother.

"He was pointing a gun at you!" Jed fired back.

Kat only smiled at him and steadily said, "Aw, how sweet. But he's just like that. He points a gun at _everyone_." She looked at everyone in the room, and all of them nodded. "See, I told you. He's not really dangerous. That's what made him unique."

Jed looked at K, meeting the blonde's eyes, and looked back at his sister in front of him. "What if..." Kat shook her head slowly and poked at his nose. "You think too much!" Kat playfully said as she returned to her cheerful mood.

She looked at K and immediately, Jed understood what she meant.

Jed walked up to K and offered a reassuring hand. "I apologize," he said looking directly in his eyes, "for the way I acted earlier."

K looked at the hand offered to him and took it. "It's ok. Being a CIA agent for so long, I've received a lot of near-death experiences." K said as he shook Jed's hand. "You're really good, you know. I didn't even know there was another person present in the room until you whispered to my ear. You were like a ghost."

Jed looked at him blankly and said, "Thanks."

"That was some stunt you just did, Jed."

Everyone looked at the direction where the voice came from. Tohma smiled at them warmly while he stood on the doorway of the room. Standing beside him was Yuki who was still looking at Jed with a hint of disbelief in his emotionless eyes.

'How the hell did he do that?' Yuki thought as he remembered what he just saw.

He and Tohma had just finished talking when they decided to pay Bad Luck a visit. When they found the door of the rehearsal room half-closed, they opened it fully and found the whole room in total madness. Then he saw Jed standing a few feet from the door with his back faced to Yuki. Yuki watched as he walked towards a group of people to the side of the wall then stopped. He couldn't even remember the time when Jed pulled out his sword and sliced the magnum that seemed to threaten Kat's life. The only scene he could remember was seeing Jed behind K with his sword being held _ very_ close to his throat. With a few words from Kat, Jed paced back and kept his sword back to its rightful place.

Shaking his head mentally, he reminded himself of Jed's nature, 'Of course he could do that. He kills people for a living, for goodness' sake.' Even though Yuki has repeated that to himself countless times, he still can't believe that a cool and stoic person like Jed could move like that.

He calmed his nerves and looked straight into Jed, "I have to go."

Yuki was about to turn around when he fell face down to the cold floor. "No, you don't!" Ryuichi beamed at him as he tackled the blonde.

"Get off me, you mindless prick!" Yuki said, trying his best to get the man, or child, off his back.

"NO!" Ryuichi nearly screamed. "Kumagorou and I want to show Jed what we've just cooked up. If you're going, that means he has to go too. He came to visit his little sis so, for once, just stop being selfish and at least let him see where and who his sister is working for. OKAY?"

Yuki snorted and with a loud thud, he sent the vocalist hitting the floor as he stood up. "Five minutes." He leaned on the dead orange wall of the studio and looked straight into the glass separating the band from them.

Ryuichi beamed at him and went inside the cushioned room and placed himself behind the microphone.

Jed was also leaning to the wall beside Yuki as he, too, looked straight into the glass and looked blankly at the "performance" that they are about to witness. Kat silently hooked her arm in Jed's and leaned on the wall beside him. Tohma still stood on the doorway, still smiling after the whole thing. K and Sakano positioned themselves behind the numerous knobs and buttons that could alter the melody emitted from the band.

There was something about Fujisaki... Something that caught his eye...

As he heard Fujisaki and Hiroshi start the melody of their new song, Jed found himself closing his eyes and preparing himself to hear a soothing voice that would accompany it. The lyrics were good. It didn't just rhyme but there was also a certain depth to it. The music was good too, however...

"Something's wrong." Jed said stoically as he opened his eyes and looked straight into Fujisaki's eyes. They've just finished the bridge of the song when Jed suddenly cut them off. It was amazing how loud the music was but the band still heard Jed's almost inaudible voice.

"Bring the chorus one octave higher because Sakuma-san's voice is too high. That goes the same for you too, Nakano-san." He explained, "When the bridge comes, both of you should vary the pitches of your notes to accommodate Sakuma-san's voice. And Nakano-san, the plucking needs more complications to make it seem difficult. The singer shouldn't follow _your _moves, you have to follow _his. _It's the only way for you to sound amazing. Nicemelody but too many flaws."

Both Hiro and Fujisaki looked at each other in confusion but later tried his suggestion and amazingly, it did work. Better than ever.

"Wow. How come I never thought of that?" Fujisaki asked to himself as he played the new notes over and over again.

"Yeah..." was the only thing that Hiro could only say after enjoying himself to the new-found melody.

"I never thought you knew anything about music." Kat said as she looked at Jed.

'Me neither...' Jed thought as he looked straight to the floor. He regained himself quickly and replied casually, "Maybe it's some result of listening to various kinds music everyday." Jed knew that Kat could see right through him. She gave him a look that said, "we'll have to talk about this". She merely smiled at her brother, and looked back at the band.

"That was quite funny. You know these things but you don't have _any_ clue on how to sing." Jed smiled at the comment and returned his gaze to the band.

"That was great, na no da! You should come here more often to help us, don't you think so?" Ryuichi beamed at him.

"Can't. Work." Jed replied at the childish figure in front of him.

"Five minutes." Jed looked at the person behind him who had just finished looking at his watch. Jed saw Yuki turn around and proceed to the doorway.

"I have to go." Jed said to his sister, a little smile crept up to his face and said, "It's really nice to see you..." He looked through the glass and glared at Fujisaki, "You."

Fujisaki blinked a couple of times then said, "Me?"

"Yeah, you. You better look out for her if you really want her that bad." Jed threatened him.

"Wha-what are you talking about?" Fujisaki stuttered.

"Don't mess with me. I know you like her," Jed looked at Kat who was turning more and more scarlet by the minute. "and I know you like him too. It's pretty obvious."

Kat was about to ask him how he knew when he cut her off, "Don't ask. I have to go."

Kat smiled at him as she gave him a final hug. "Take care of yourself, ok?"

Jed released himself from the comforting embrace and said, "Yeah, you too."

He was about to exit the door when he heard a cheerful voice behind him, "Yo, Jed! If ever you decide to have fun tonight, or any night for that matter, just call us, ok? We'll be in some clubs, just having fun, you know." Jed faced Kat and gave her a silent nod.

When he turned back, he saw Tohma looking straight at him. With a calm voice he said, "Goodbye, Seguchi-san." Tohma smiled back at him and gave way for him to catch up on the elevator ride that Yuki was on.

He got into the elevator with Yuki and pressed the button that would lead them to the floor of the parking lot where their vehicles were parked.

Yuki glanced at the handsome man beside him. He was just staring into... nothing. Like he's thinking about something but simultaneously, looking absolutely blank.

'This guy is starting to creep me out.' Yuki thought as he stared back to the door of the lift.

The wonder of it all is _what_ crept Yuki out.

He seemed to find something new about Jed whenever he was with him. The first time they met, he found out about his unbelievable resemblance to Shuichi. Then later after that, he found out that Jed could play the piano, coincidentally, Shu's piece, "Sweetest Goodbye". Then there was that night's, or morning's, Jed's extraordinary revelations. Just now, he found out that Jed is also a musically-inclined person. And before that, it was his first time to see Jed _ almost_ kill somebody with that sword of his.

'I mean, who could've thought that inside a sheath like that,' Yuki brought his eyes to the covering of the sword which was already worn out, 'is a sword that could cut a magnum in less than a second. I mean, it was a_ magnum_.'

He brought his eyes to the man carrying the sword. Then it occurred to him. It didn't really matter what weapon was used, what mattered was_ who_ used it and the skills he had for it. He remembered the incident in America, fifteen years ago...

"I'm sorry that you have to see that. About K-san." His train of thoughts was suddenly cut off by the voice beside him.

He shook his head mentally for being so stupid to let his guard down."Who said I was bothered by it?" Yuki said as he looked back at the door. "I've seen dead bodies before, so why is a death threat so different?"

"I should've known." Jed stated as he got out of the lift and walked to the place where his bike was parked.

"Known what?" Yuki asked as he followed slowly behind him.

Jed turned around to meet his eyes. "That you, yourself," he started, sounding cold, "have already _killed_ somebody." Then he turned around and got on his bike.

Yuki abruptly stopped, car keys in hand, and eyes widened at the statement. 'How...' Yuki couldn't think how the hell Jed could know that. Did the research that the assassin did on him had an article on what happened at New York? But Tohma said he took care of it. Then how...

"You should get in now. You look kind of stupid, standing like a gaping fish." Jed said as he put his helmet on and opened the covering, "We should really head back. It's starting to get dark very soon." He started his engine and exited the parking lot.

Yuki did what he was told and got in his black BMW. He started the engine and followed suit on the man who was literally gliding on the busy streets of Tokyo. He mentally noted himself to ask the bastard how the hell he knew such a thing about the author...

* * *

**Author's Notes:**

It's edited. I'm finishing to edit _everything._

I know it's not that good... I admit I'm not even that much contented with it... But at least I got another chapter out, right! It gets a bit intriguing in the end part, doesn't it? The part in the rehearsal room is just something to reveal something more about our assassin... I've already got the perfect ending for this but it's still in my head. Still working on the next one. Thanks.

nga pala, cory! kababayan! friend na kita sa friendster. hehehe... buti naman nagustuhan mo ang storya ko...

peace out!

* * *


	7. pills

* * *

**_CHAPTER SEVEN  
Pills_**

* * *

They were in the park again. He didn't understand why the author loved this place so much. Almost every night, he decides to come here, just to sit down on the bench which was in front of the railings. As far as he's concerned, he hated the damned place. People were so noisy. Ice cream stores busily clanged their little bells. Kids of all ages ran around, bumping everybody in the process. Some even shouted in despair of finding their parents.

But tonight was different.

It was dark and people were in their houses, enjoying the company of others. So the park was quiet. It was even peaceful. So now, he is here, standing beside a bench where a blonde man is comfortably sitting, with a cigarette in his mouth, obviously thinking about something. He just stared blankly at the railing in front of them, focusing on the lights of the city beyond it.

"Why don't you sit down?" Yuki asked him as he, too, was staring straight into the railings.

Jed was a bit shocked at the sudden voice. With a calm voice he said, "No, thanks. Some paparazzi might be somewhere hiding in the bushes or up in some tree like a monkey. If he sees us sitting on the same bench on a night like this, he might think we're some kind of lovers."

"Whatever." Yuki replied. With a final inhalation from his cigarette, he killed the flame and threw it. After a long silence, the blonde started again, "How did you"

"know that you killed somebody?" He finished for the blonde. Jed was still looking at the lights in front of him, katana in hand, and standing like a statue beside the bench. "I just did."

He could feel Yuki's piercing eyes on the side of his face. He looked at Yuki without turning his head and back on the railings. He sighed deeply, "Your eyes."

He could feel Yuki's confusion rise even more.

"It's really nice, you know." He turned his head to face Yuki directly and looked at his eyes. "Amber. I've never seen anybody with those kind of eyes. It's unique. So most probably, whoever looks at it would be mesmerized. But..." He hesitated a little on what he was about to say, "there's something more to it. It's cold and warm at the same time. There's sparkle but also darkness. There is contradiction all over it."

"What does that have to do with me killing somebody?" Yuki asked, a bit infuriated.

"There is only one reason for a person to have eyes so expressive like that. _Death_." He turned his head back to face front. "So it's either you are traumatized by the fact that you've witnessed death or you've killed somebody. Unfortunately, it was both." He turned his head back to face Yuki, "You might not be aware of it, but even if you act so cold towards others, your eyes are showing _every_ emotion that you are feeling."

Actually, Jed doesn't really know exactly _how_ he knew about that. He doesn't know how he knew that Yuki killed somebody. Something just struck him and the words just came out of his mouth. How the hell was he supposed to know about such a personal thing? Especially concerning a man he doesn't even really know.

He stole a glance from the figure beside him. But what he just said was still true. He's got really nice eyes. So cold yet so expressive. He can't really put words into it. Somehow it just captured him.

He looked at Yuki. He was still staring at him. 'Great. Now he thinks I'm some kind of a foreteller or something.' Jed breathed deeply and continued, "Look, I can't really explain it but... I just read people well. You shouldn't really worry about it. It just comes with the job. Reading people, that is."

Did he just say that? That was really long. 'I think that was the longest thing I have ever said to him.' Jed thought as he returned his gaze to the front.

* * *

Yuki didn't expect to hear that. That's the first time somebody told him how transparent he was. He didn't even know whether to take Jed's words as a compliment or as an insult. But it was really shocking. He had only known the man for a month, but the guy already knew a lot about him.

He breathed deeply and looked out on the railings. He settled himself on the bench he is sitting on.

The park.

He loved this place. It's where he and Shuichi first met. Day or night, he didn't care. He just loves to come here. He loves to sit down and relax, especially in this specific place. It was _exactly_ where the wind took Shuichi's lyrics into his hands.

He bowed his head.

Shuichi again. All thoughts always foud their way to Shuichi. 'Why do I always have to think about him? He isn't coming back. I have to move on.' He brought his palms to his face and suddenly a voice echoed through the silence of the park.

"We should go. It's going to rain soon."

Yuki looked up and, as true as it was, the clouds were already getting together and the moon was nowhere to be seen. The only light helping Yuki to see was the lamp post beside the bench. He gathered himself coolly and tried his very best to ignore the conversation about his eyes earlier and the thoughts about Shuichi. He stood up and walked towards his car which was parked just outside the park. While he was walking, everything suddenly went into a haze... He stopped to shake himself out of it but everywhere he looks, everything is a blur.

Then, everything just went black.

* * *

Yuki woke up slowly. He recognized his bed, his sheets, and his room. He was in his house. But how? He looked to his right and he was met with Tohma's face.

"It's a good thing you're awake." Tohma said smiling, that annoying smile that he gave to everybody. "You made me really worried, Eiri."

"How..." Yuki asked trying to sit up.

"No." Tohma gently put his hands on his shoulders to stop his movement. "You should rest. By tomorrow, you'll be fine again. Jed called me earlier." He looked at the doorway. Yuki followed his gaze and there he was. The man who described him so well was now leaning on the door jam, arms crossed. "He said you were coughing blood." Tohma continued. "I think your ulcer is starting to kick in."

Tohma got two pills from a bottle and put it beside the glass of water on the bedside table. Yuki only looked at it. He didn't wanna swallow any of those things. He hated its bitter taste and he always had some difficulty with swallowing tablets.

Tohma sensed Yuki's reluctance and said, "You _should_ drink this. The doctor said that you'll be as good as new if you do so."

Yuki looked away from his brother-in-law and grunted. "I don't care if I die."

"Well, I do."

Both men turned their heads towards Jed. Yuki couldn't believe his ears. Did Jed really say that he cared for him?

"If you die, this guy here is going to fry my ass to a crisp because I failed in protecting you. Plus, I don't get paid if your dead."

It was wrong for Yuki to think that Jed would care for him. He only cares for three things, his sister, himself, and his money. Others are nothing to Jed. He glared at him and said, "You don't have to worry about it." Yuki started, "You're fired."

"You can't fire me," Jed said casually, still looking blank at the blonde. "I work for him so he's the only one who has the right to fire me." He motioned his head to Tohma's direction. "You, however, I don't work for because you _are_ my job."

Now, Yuki was furious. He tried his best to sit up but his stomach was hurting like hell. He flinched and suddenly strong arms gently pushed him back to the cushions. He looked up to the figure who was holding him so securely.

It was him, _again_. He really couldn't understand this guy. One minute, his annoying him so much that the best way to end the argument was just to kill each other. The next minute, he's all protective and gentle.

He sighed deeply and glared, _hard_, at Jed. Jed was oblivious to his actions and settled himself to sit on the edge of the bed. He got both the pills from the table and put it on one hand. The other hand gently cupped the back of Yuki's head so that it would be easier for him to take the medicine. Yuki faced away from the medicine and pushed Jed's hand away from his face, clearly telling him that there is no way in hell that he'll take the pills.

"Eiri, stop being such a child." Tohma was now standing beside the bed glaring at his brother, without any hints of a smile on his face. Yuki just glared back and faced the ceiling. He heard Tohma's disappointed sigh in the quiet room.

He noticed Jed inhale deeply and exhale the air through his mouth slowly. 'Don't tell me he's going to beat the crap out of me just to take those shit.' Yuki thought, now thinking of other things than the images of him being worse than ever.

Then, he was really shocked.

He looked at Jed take the pills into his mouth. Then Jed placed his palm on the side of his face and bent down to whisper something in his ear. "I'm sorry. It's the only way." He remembered his own words before kissing Jed when he broke down.

Then, Jed pulled back and brought their face nearer and nearer, until their noses touched. Jed stopped to look directly into Yuki's eyes. Brown met amber. Yuki looked straight into Jed's. It was just blank, no expression whatsoever in the other guy's eyes. Yuki noticed that there was something more to Jed's eyes. It's like it had another color. Then he saw Jed close his eyes slowly and sealed the distance between them.

Yuki was still in a shock even though Jed was already kissing him. His eyes were still wide open. He glanced at Tohma's expression and they both had the same one. He tried to push the other guy away from him to stop the kiss, but somehow his hands were glued to the bed, clutching the sheets in the process.

Jed was _kissing_ him. His bodyguard was actually kissing him.

His lips were just how he remembered it to be, soft. The kiss was gentle but at the same time really hot. He felt Jed's tongue part his lips to gain entrance. This time, Yuki closed his eyes and granted permission. He let the tongue travel to his mouth and explore every millimeter of it.

He didn't even notice the pills in his mouth which was pushed gently to his throat. Amazingly, he swallowed it without realizing.

Gently, Jed broke the kiss and opened his eyes, still maintaining that close distance with the author. Yuki opened his own eyes and looked straight into Jed's.

Jed closed his eyes and sit up quickly. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and looked at Tohma. "He'll sleep now."

Yuki looked as he stood up and exited the room. His eyes still showed the emotions that he felt just moments ago. There were so many questions inside his head. 'Why did Jed do that? Why am I having this feeling while he was kissing me? Why'

All of a sudden, he was getting drowsy. He didn't have to ask, Tohma was already supplying him with the information. "The pills that were given to you by Jed had depressants. You'll be out for at least a day. Don't worry... Good night, Eiri."

Then there was nothing.

* * *

'There were no options left. It was the only way for him to get some rest.' This was the thought that ran through over and over again in Jed's mind. He was trying to convince himself that what he did in the other room did not involve any malice, whatsoever. It was just an easy way out. He just wanted to help...

'Yeah, right!'

'Yes, the kiss _was_ good, well actually, _really_ good.' Jed admitted to himself. 'But I can't feel like this. I _won't_...' Jed covered his face with his palms and just settled there, at the side of his bed. Sitting, thinking, about what happened minutes ago.

Jed kissed Yuki. Yes, he did. It was the only way for Yuki to take his medicine. If he won't, he'll only hurt himself more, being as stubborn as he is. And if that happens, he will be in a much critical condition. Jed didn't want that. Not because he cared for the guy, no. He didn't have any plans to be the bastard's nanny. He was assigned to _protect_ the author, but now, it turns out that he also had to _take care _of him. Besides, he wanted to get paid. The paycheck the NG president was giving them was _huge._

_But_ the kiss... There was something to it... Jed was only planning to trick Yuki by pushing the tablets down his throat. Thank God he didn't forget his plan because as soon as he looked into those amber eyes, it took him a _lot_ of self control to stop himself from actually resisting his own urges. That was one of the reasons why he wiped his mouth right in front of him. To show him that it was pure business.

'Yes, it was just business.' Jed thought. 'But why did it felt so right? Why did I feel so drawn to him?'

"That was really something." Jed was a bit startled by Tohma's voice cutting through his train of thoughts. He hadn't noticed that he forgot to close the door.

* * *

Jed only looked blankly at Tohma. Tohma sighed and smiled warmly at him. "And it was really smart."

"It's easier to take care of a person when he's not complaining." Jed said while staring blankly at him.

"You're right." Tohma said. He looked at his watch, it was almost two in the morning.

He put his hat back on his head and said, "I better be going now." He turned to leave, but turned back. "Thank you, Jed. For taking care of him. Keep it up." After that, he turned towards the door, down the hallway and out the apartment. He noticed Jed following him and locking the door after he exited.

He was silently walking down the corridor when, suddenly, he stopped. He hung his head low and slowly looked straight ahead, his green eyes showing sadness. 'Why does he still doubt it?'

As soon as Tohma entered Jed's bedroom, he saw the younger guy sitting on his bed, his face covered with his hands, as if ashamed of what he just did. Obviously, he was in deep thought concerning what he just did. 'He's hurting... I can see it. Why wouldn't he just accept it? If only I can help him'

His cellphone suddenly rang annoyingly in his jacket pocket. He brought out his phone and looked at the screen. It was his wife. He smiled, as if forgetting whatever thoughts were crossing his mind. He opened it and brought the earpiece to his ear while walking towards the elevator.

"Yes, Mika?" As soon as he said those words, he quickly removed the phone away from his ear but even if he did that, he could still hear her screaming. His smile just grew wider as he entered the lift and brought back the earpiece to his ear. "Don't worry. He's fine." Tohma said, reassuring his wife. He smiled warmly while in deep thought, "Someone is taking good care of him."

* * *

After closing the door, Jed went to the bathroom to wash his face. He rested his hands on the sink and looked at the running water coming out of the faucet. He splashed the water to his face, got a towel from the railings and patted his face with it. After that, he brought his head up to see his reflection on the mirror.

He looked at his face while touching the mirror. This is him. An assassin, a _murderer_. He kills people for money. He had been given this life, given the chance to be someone else, someone new. A person who didn't deserve to feel. A person who _couldn't _feel.

He looked at his eyes. He removed his contacts and threw them on the waste basket. Then he looked at them again. 'Purple.' He thought as he looked at them again. It was dark, and the dark circles under his eyes only emphasized its lifelessness. He had always wondered how come he had such a unique set of eyes.

'Guess I would never know.'

Then he touched his hair. Light brown. The pink dye was already unnoticeable. He was a bit glad by this. At least it's already starting to wear off.

He touched the reflection of the only thing that connects his past from his present. The silver earring. He brought his hand to the piece of jewelry and gently caressed it. Ever since, he hadn't removed it from his left ear. It had always been there. Kat told him to get it out, to examine it, to see if it had something that could give them a lead. A lead to who he really is.

But he didn't want to.

He rested his hand back to the sink and bowed his head. He didn't want to remember. After all the nightmares, and all the pain he had gone through, he didn't give a damn as to who he was before. He's Jed. That's all he needed to know, nothing more, nothing less. Maybe he was afraid to know the truth. Maybe he was a coward. He didn't care. He brought his head back up to stare at his reflection.

This is him. A cold-blooded murderer. Someone who _kills_ for money. Yes, this _is_ him.

He moved his hand to his left ear. He arranged his hair to somewhat hide the earring. He closed his eyes to stop himself from staring into his violet orbs. He removed his hands from the sink and proceeded to his bedroom.

As soon as he got to his room, he removed his shirt and his pants. With only his boxers on, he slipped into the covers of his bed and laid comfortably. He let his eyes close slowly falling into a deep slumber, silently praying that he won't get any nightmares this time.

* * *

**Author's notes:**

Hope y'all like this one. I did a few changes.

Yeah, the first _real_ kiss between the two. I guess you know now that Jed lost his memory. I know it's kind of clichéd, but it gets juicy on the end part.

And yeah, to the people who reviewed, I haven't thanked you yet. So yeah, thank you! A lot! It's really nice to have some people appreciate my work. So like I've promised, I won't beg for any reviews (but of course, it is still appreciated), but I would definitely beg for people to read my work. I know it's weird but I think it would do. hehehe...

and oh yeah, I'm really sorry for the delay... I was actually planning to post at least two chapters a week but a lot of things came up so I'm really sorry... With all the school works, it's kind of tiring. I am planning to end this fic before March or maybe April. Who knows?

So, I guess that's all. Thanks a lot! Peace out!

* * *


	8. breakfast

* * *

**_CHAPTER EIGHT  
Breakfast_**

* * *

It was early in the morning. The sun crept into the room through the windows. Its rays were shining on a familiar face.

He was seated in front of the owner of this face. Looking at him, studying him as he slept.

It was almost noon and the blonde hadn't woke up yet. He should've known. He looked at the bowl on top of the bedside table. The mixed rice he made was already getting cold.

He hated the fact that he had to take care of this person. He even hated more why he felts so drawn to him. He didn't understand why, but something about the author was just... He didn't even know how to describe it.

'Why wouldn't he just wake up so that I can get this all over with.' Jed thought as he looked at the sleeping figure in front of him. 'He looks really peaceful... Especially when he's sleeping. Wait a minute. What the hell' He shook his head vigorously. What the hell was he just thinking?

He had already settled things with himself. Everything would be pure business.

'God, help me...' He knows it was pretty impossible for God to help him. He didn't even know if God would _forgive_ him. After all he had done, it was impossible. Maybe that's why he agreed to take this job. A job to protect someone.

Red was right. He's taking it to be some kind of a penance. A break from all he did. He was somehow hoping that it could lessen his sins... Maybe he didn't take the job to please Kat, but to somehow show to himself that he could do other things that aren't concerned about death.

Click.

Jed moved his eyes quickly away from the blonde.

'Someone is inside the apartment.'

Katana in hand and back facing the door of the bedroom, he listened carefully to the foreign sound. He heard the hardwood floor creak, made by every footstep the intruder was doing. Jed closed his eyes to feel his surroundings. He breathed deeply...

Jed could feel him - could feel his presence. He was nearing the room. A man. Maybe slightly taller than him... He could tell by the way he walked. He could hear the intruder's slow breathing.

'He's on the doorway, looking at me... Slowly, now... Just a little more...'

Instantly, Jed opened his eyes and stood up creating a diversion by knocking out the chair he was just sitting on. It flew and slammed on the wall.

Yuki awoke with a start because of the loud noise.

The intruder looked at the flying chair and it was the perfect time Jed needed to remove his katana from its sheath. Unnoticeably, he kicked the intruder on his side. The man stumbled to the floor with a loud thud. Jed turned around swiftly, his soft hair following his every move.

With a final swish, the blade of his katana stopped on the side of the intruders neck. He could see the man trembling... and he loved it. He dug the blade deeper and the blood came. Only drops of it. He heard the man hiss. He only smiled devilishly...

"You son of a bitch!" He was about to receive a hard punch from Yuki when he quickly avoided it. He bent down and turned around to kick Yuki's feet from the floor only giving the intruder less than a second to escape his trap. Quickly, he strangled Yuki's neck in his other hand. He bent down, his blade still on its place while the other on Yuki's neck.

"What?" Jed said as he looked at Yuki angrily.

"His... my... my..." Yuki stopped to gather as much air as he can and continued. "brother."

Jed widened his eyes and looked directly into the intruder's eyes. Now he could see clearly the man's face. The same bone structure, same feature, same build, same hairstyle. The only difference was the color of their hair and eyes. The intruder's are all black.

Yes, they were related.

He closed his eyes and breathed to relax. "Damn it." He hissed. He was pissed as hell to not take notice of the resemblance of the two. How could he miss it? He was a professional, for God's sake. Why did he fuck up?

With his eyes still closed, he removed his grasp from Yuki. Yuki coughed a little and breathed to relieve himself. Simultaneously, he removed the blade from Yuki's brother.

He stood up and placed the sword back into its place.

He offered a hand to the intruder to help him up. He saw the man look at him menacingly, his hand on his bleeding neck. Jed was surprised to see the man take his hand and smile.

"Hi there! I'm Tatsuha." He heard him say. "I should've taken Tohma's advice seriously. You _are_ good."

"Don't sneak up on people." He said after letting go of Tatsuha's hand. "We'll have to treat that. And eat." He directed to Yuki.

Yuki stood up slowly while glaring at Jed. He was still massaging his neck from the strangling that happened earlier. His eyes were asking of an apology.

Seeing this, Jed simply said, "You shouldn't go around punching and cursing people." He got the cold bowl of rice from the bedside table and exited the room and went to the bathroom to get the first aid kit.

* * *

God, he was furious. He was furious as hell. The guy almost killed his brother and, practically, almost killed _him_. The person who_ his_ bodyguard is _supposed_ to be protecting.

Now, there he was, right in front of him. Treating his bleeding brother. They're in the kitchen, sitting on the counter, the two facing him.

Jed was carefully putting antiseptic on the wound to cleanse it. Then he placed a bandage on it to stop the bleeding. He had done this many times, Yuki guessed. It was like he was very used to treating wounds. In less than five minutes, he had already cured the wound on Tatsuha's neck and went to the bathroom to keep the first aid kit.

Yuki just sat there glaring at his brother. "What?" Tatsuha asked his brother.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"Is it a crime to visit my beloved aniki? I was just worried... Tohma said you were sick, so I came here."

"Why didn't you just send me a message?"

"A message?" Tatsuha pouted. "You are my aniki! How can I just send you a message when your sick! I should visit you, _personally_!"

Yuki sighed. Great, just great. His energetic brother just came to disrupt his life once again. He didn't know whether to be angry or thank Jed for what he did to Tatsuha. He already had a problem with Jed tailing him around, and now, he had to keep an eye on a loud-mouth like Tatsuha. Why was fate so cruel to him?

"Hey, aniki... Uhm, that bodyguard of yours... What's his name again?" Tatsuha asked quietly to his brother.

"Jed." Yuki answered, not really paying that much attention to Tatsuha.

"Yeah, Jed. He's really good. I mean _super_ good." The 23-year-old said with a smile on his face. "Tohma warned me about him. He said that it would be best to say that I was coming. He said that your bodyguard is really precautious with people, especially considering the fact that he hasn't met me yet."

"Should've taken his advice." Yuki coolly said.

"Whatever, but the bottom line is, he's really good. I mean I didn't even see him move until that sword of his almost cut through my neck. But there's something else... Doesn't he look familiar?"

He looked at Tatsuha. Great, he noticed too. That only proved that he and Ryuichi really _are_ lovers, they both had the same instinct. Both instantly noticed Jed's resemblance to a certain person.

"Yes, I do." Jed said as he walked into the kitchen and went to the fridge to take two microwave-safe plastic containers. He placed it into the microwave and as soon as he turned the knob, he turned around and looked at Tatsuha straight in the eye.

Tatsuha was shocked at Jed's sudden entrance. Yuki merely looked at both of them, waiting for one of them to continue.

"I look like Shindou-san, right?" Jed said with a dead-look on his eyes.

Tatsuha considered it for a moment. He beamed as the realization hit him. "Yeah! You do look a lot like Shuichi-kun!" Tatsuha shifted his gaze from Jed to Yuki then to Jed again. "Then you should be careful. You see, my brother here and Shuichi were, well, _close_... He might hit on you because of your resemblance to him."

Yuki looked at Tatsuha ominously. 'Who gave him the right to talk to Jed about that?' He didn't know if he was mad at Tatsuha for saying those things or if he was mad at himself for feeling so guilty towards Jed. He caught a sight of Jed at the corner of his eye.

Jed hung his head low but as swiftly as it came was just as fast as it went. He looked at Tatsuha, wearing that blank look he always has.

"Thank you for the warning but there's really no need to worry." He looked at Yuki. Yuki felt his heart beat faster when he felt himself under Jed's gaze. "I'm not into men."

Then the microwave dinged.

* * *

Tatsuha was right. If Yuki would even take a second look on him, it would only because he looked like Shuichi, his ex-lover. _Dead_ lover.

'Why should I care what he thinks? Like I said, I'm not into men.' Jed thought as he got the two containers from the appliance. He put them in respective bowls and placed them in front of the siblings. He took two pairs of chopsticks from the drawer and put it beside the bowls.

"Wow, you made this?" He heard Tatsuha ask. He was making two glasses of orange juice. "Yes." was the only thing he said.

"I'm making my own drink." Yuki said.

Hearing the stool move, Jed quickly stopped what he was doing and strolled in front of Yuki. He looked intently into those amber eyes.

He shook his head mentally to stop himself from thinking other things and pushed Yuki back into the chair. Yuki stumbled a bit and was back in his seat in no time. Jed turned him around so that his back was resting on the counter. Jed put his two hands on the counter, cornering Yuki at the same time.

He was so close to Yuki that their legs touched. He closed the gap between their faces. He saw Yuki swallow a lump in his throat. He smiled, that smile he wore just a few moments ago when he tried to kill Tatsuha. He leaned closer and looked intently on Yuki's eyes, again, brown met amber.

"You will eat _and_ drink whatever I want you to. You _ will not_ drink coffee nor beer. You _will not_ smoke. I have been given my orders. No vices as long as I'm with you. "

"And who gave you those orders? Tohma?" Yuki fired back at him.

He looked at Yuki threateningly. "Yes. And if I want to get paid, I should do what he says. And if you do what I tell you to, you won't have to worry about your damn ulcer for the next month. So if you work with me, everyone will be happy."

"And if I don't?" Yuki challenged.

He leaned closer and he felt Yuki slightly tremble at the sudden close contact. His smile only grew wider. He leaned to whisper in his ear. "Then you'll experience the most severe punishment there is. And you won't die from it because I want you to feel_ every_ second of it." He said in an almost inaudible tone.

He pulled back but their faces were still close to each other. "Do we understand each other?"

Jed saw Yuki look away from his eyes. He let go of the counter and stood right in front of Yuki who was still avoiding his gaze. "Good, now, eat." He went back to the sink to finish what he was doing.

Tatsuha whistled at what he just saw and looked at Yuki while munching on his food. "Wow... You've got yourself a persuasive one, aniki. There is no way you're going to get yourself out of this." Tatsuha laughed at his own statement. "And Jed," he faced Jed who also looked at him, "this is really good. You made this all by yourself?"

"Yeah." He said and turned back to resume stirring. 'I hate repeating myself.' He thought.

"Wow a bodyguard who cooks. Nice." He turned his gaze back to his brother. "You should try it. It's really good." He said in between mouthfuls.

Jed turned around holding two glasses of orange juice. He put each one in front of the brothers and strolled out of the kitchen.

* * *

As soon as Jed got out of the kitchen, Yuki got his chopsticks and played with his food a little. He looked at Tatsuha. It looked like he was really enjoying himself with the food.

This was a _real _breakfast, Yuki reminded himself. For as long as he could remember, he always had toast or pancakes and coffee for breakfast. Sometimes, even none. But today was different. In front of him was a bowl of mixed rice and orange juice. Truthfully, it _does_ look delicious. It was fried rice mixed with ham, bacon, egg, and some green peas. It smelled good too.

He tried it. One spoonful, then another, then another. He didn't even realize that he was almost through with the whole meal.

"I never thought you were _that_ hungry." Jed said as he entered the kitchen, fetched three pocky sticks from the fridge and exited the room again. "Guess sleeping for a whole 24 hours got your stomach craving for some attention."

Yuki disregarded his comment and resumed on eating his heavenly breakfast. After that was done, he drank the orange juice. Even that was great. It wasn't so sweet and it wasn't too sour. 'Man, this guy's really something'

"I really should make him try to kill me more often." Tatsuha said. Yuki looked at him, confusion clearly seen in amber orbs.

"I mean, if this was some kind of an apology for what he did earlier, I could just come here whenever I'm starving." He answered the questioning look on Yuki.

"Why are you _really_ here?" Yuki repeated his question earlier to his younger brother.

Tatsuha only looked at him, then smiled. "I already told you, didn't I? I was worried. I mean, who wouldn't? Tohma said that he got you a bodyguard who _is_ an assassin! That's a bloody murderer, aniki. Who knows... He might try to kill you for some money."

Tatsuha sighed and looked at the direction of the living room where Jed walked into. "I thought he would be some muscled ugly guy in a black suit. But I was _so_ wrong..."

'I was thinking the exactly the same thing.' Yuki thought as he thought of Jed's appearance. He was not wearing some suit and he was not buffed. Just a medium-sized handsome man who moves really fast. How could anybody mistake him as a bodyguard, or even more, as an assassin, with the way he looked?

"I should get going... It's 10:00. I should tell Mika that you're ok and you're_ in_ good hands." Yuki avoided his gaze but Tatsuha, knowing his brother pretty well, smiled at Yuki's little reaction.

"Oh, my God! You like him, don't you?" Tatsuha said with dreamy eyes.

Yuki merely glared at him, his eyes threatening anyone who comes into view.

Tatsuha raised his hands in surrender. "Woah..." He stood up. "Just an observation.. Okay, maybe I jumped into conclusions... But still it was some kind of an observation, right?"

Yuki was starting to have a migraine. "Out." Tatsuha only smiled knowingly at his brother and did as he was directed.

Yuki also stood up from his seat. He put all the dishes into the dishwasher, turned it on, and followed on the retreating back of his brother.

"Thanks for the food, Jed." He said, only receiving a blank look on Jed's face. "You should really teach me some of those moves." He turned around to face Yuki, and to Yuki's shock, his brother hugged him instantly. "What the" Yuki didn't even have the chance to finish his sentence because of Tatsuha's sudden rambling, "Oh, aniki! I missed you so much! I hope you would come home more often. I missed you so much!" Yuki tried to get out of his brother's grasp but it was just two strong. After a few minutes, Tatsuha finally let go and smiled widely at the blonde. "Take care of yourself, ok?" He turned to Jed. "And you too!" With that, he waved his hand and showed himself out of the apartment.

After his brother closed the door, Yuki looked at the figure seating on the couch. He was wearing a brown long-sleeved sweatshirt and a pair of jeans. He was listening intently to his i-pod while chewing his last stick of pocky. He had a ballpen and notebook sitting on his lap. His eyes were closed and his head was resting on the backrest of the sofa, exposing his smooth and fair neck.

Yuki looked at the exposed neck keenly... Quickly, he mentally shook his head to erase the images that started to form in his head.

He walked to the other side of the sofa. As soon as he sat down, he saw Jed open his eyes slowly and look up to the ceiling, still chewing on the last bits of pocky.

"We need to talk," Yuki said after leaning on the sofa, hands resting on his knee, looking cool as ever. "about the other night."

* * *

**Author's Notes:**

First off, THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO REVIEWED! I'll specify each one of you at the end of the story... thanks! And yeah, I edited some parts here because one reviewer (clari chan) said that my punctuations were a bit rusty. sorry...

And a special shout-out to **CassiToTheStars**, I've edited _everything_. All the eight chapters... I really took your review seriously and I hope that you'd like the improved chapters. thanks!

I know, I know... Another crappy chapter... I'm trying to buy some time here to meet up with my timeline. So I have to come up with some pointless things... Sorry...

But at least, _the talk_'s there, isn't it? I'm still figuring out how Jed is going to get his way out of Yuki's questions. And I'm really sorry if I'm not paying that much attention to other characters. It's just that this is _all_ about the major pair so I can't really put all the gravi characters in.

I promise that the next chapters would be a bit enlightening... I'm aiming for a 15-chapter story and I'm already halfway. So please keep up with me.

Thanks for reading and peace out!

By the way, who could guess what song these lyrics belong to? lalalala...

_I should've done something but I've done it enough  
By the way you're hands were shaking  
Rather waste some time with you..._

* * *


	9. talk

* * *

**_CHAPTER NINE  
Talk_**

* * *

'Here goes nothing.' Jed thought as he looked in Yuki's direction. He faced back to the ceiling and tried his best to look as blankly as possible. With the most uncaring voice he could muster, he said, "What _about_ last night?"

He could see Yuki's eyes glare even harder at him. Of course he knew what Yuki was talking about. He's talking about that damned kiss. He wanted to know why he kissed him.

But Jed already thought about this. He had 24 whole hours to do so. He thought how he would react when Yuki brought up the issue. He memorized the lines that he would say and how he should say them.

He knew _exactly _what to do in a situation like this, and that is to act like he didn't give a damn.

With his face still facing the ceiling, he removed his headphones and hung them around his neck. He heard Yuki sigh deeply and leaned back to the chair.

"Don't mess with me, Jed. You know what I'm talking about." Jed looked into Yuki's direction and he saw the author cross his arms on his chest. "The kiss you gave me."

"Oh, that..." Jed sat up straight and faced Yuki. "Didn't Seguchi-san supply you with all the information you needed?"

"No, so why don't you just tell me. Why did you kiss me?" Yuki asked.

"You won't swallow the pills." Jed simply said. "You won't drink the medicine willingly. If I force you to open your mouth and shove the pills in, then you'll just cough it out."

"So, that's why you kissed me?" Yuki asked, a bit taken aback by Jed's reasoning.

"Yes." Jed glared at Yuki and faced away. "And for the record, it wasn't a kiss. It was a strategic move." He looked straight into Yuki again, "It worked, didn't it?"

"Ch." was the only thing that came out of Yuki as he broke his gaze with his bodyguard.

* * *

God, he could just kill this man. Why was he being punished like this? The nerve of the man in front of him was driving him nuts.

But the real issue behind all of this was why the hell did he care? Why did he want an explanation about something which clearly meant nothing to the other person involved? Why did he have to confront that person about what happened?

'I mean, why should I care?' Yuki thought. That was exactly the issue here. He had_ slept with_ a lot of people. Why did_ a single kiss_ had to be such a big deal?

He glanced at the brown-haired man in front of him. He was scribbling something in his notebook. Yuki could see him in full concentration. Whatever he was doing was definitely something important.

He dismissed the thought quickly.

He didn't care if that guy had something important to do. As of now, he only wanted one thing revenge.

He raised his eyebrow and eyed Jed carefully. With a smirk he said, "Look, if that's how bad you wanted to get laid, all you had to do was ask."

Jed stopped writing and looked at his notepad for a few moments. 'I got your attention, didn't I?' Yuki thought as his smirk just grew wider.

Surprisingly, Jed turned his head and face Yuki, still wearing that blank expression on his face. "I think you got it all mixed up in that head of yours. Sorry, I don't do my clients."

"Excuse me?" Yuki said as he controlled himself from strangling Jed.

"I know you like me, Yuki..." Jed smirked at him and continued, "_Your eyes show every emotion that you're feeling_, remember?" Yuki remembered the words from the park the other night.

But the bastard wasn't even finished yet, "But like I said, I don't dig people like you." Then Yuki saw him continue writing on the notepad.

God only knows how infuriated Yuki was. He wanted to grab the guy's katana and slice that incredibly big head of his. He wanted to kill the man.

But Yuki was more of a thinker, not a feeler. So he calmed himself and thought of the best way to recover from all the things that his bodyguard just said, "Oh really? Then what _kind _of people do _you _dig?"

Again, Jed stopped writing.

* * *

Honestly, Jed had no idea what kind of people he liked. He didn't even have the chance to like anyone in the past seven years. He was at a loss in those times. How the hell could he find himself falling for someone if he couldn't even keep an eye on himself? Besides, in his line of work, falling in love or even just liking someone is_ definitely_ out of the question. Well, except for that one person... He quickly erased the thought. 'It could have never worked...'

He looked at Yuki. The blonde's face was full of hidden meanings. He could clearly see it but it was something he couldn't define.

"It's none of your business." Jed bluntly replied. "Besides, why are you getting yourself so stressed out for such a petty thing like a kiss. You've screwed with almost all the singles in Tokyo, why do you have to be so affected by _one... single... kiss..._?"

Jed saw Yuki clench his fist. He definitely hit a nerve by the way he said those words and, frankly, it made him really happy.

He knew that Yuki liked him, in some inverted way, but still he could see it. But he also knew it was not him that was making Yuki question his actions. It was because of his damn resemblance to his ex-lover. That was the only explanation for the author's actions.

He looked at Yuki more intently. Maybe he did, no _-does-_, feel something for the author but even if he did, he knows better than to feel something for someone that he had only met for almost two months. Moreover, he shouldn't give importance to someone who was only attracted to him because of his resemblance to that person's ex lover.

'I mean why should he be so worked up by some single kiss I gave? If it really didn't mean anything, then he should have just dismiss any thoughts which concerned it.' He did, why shouldn't Yuki just do the same? God, the time he spends in this household just brought him closer and closer to the edge.

"I really don't know..." Jed was shocked to hear the sudden voice. "I have to get out." And with that, he stood up and went to the bathroom to take a hot shower.

As soon as Yuki went out of the living room and turn the faucet on, Jed sighed deeply. 'Finally, he quit.' Jed leaned back to the sofa and closed his eyes.

He thought about the things he considered just moments ago. He admitted to himself that there _is_ something there... something for the author. But he knew the complications. He knew every damn thing as to why he shouldn't feel something for someone like him... A person who didn't care about anyone but himself. A person who was cold-hearted and selfish. A person who was _better_ than him.

Yes, Yuki was better_ than_ him. He kills people for money. He was more selfish. He was more cold-hearted. Every bad quality that Yuki had, he had worse. He didn't deserve to feel something for someone. Someone who could never understand what he went through. There was no person who was worse than him. No one, and that was final.

He gathered himself again and repeated to himself that he shouldn't feel any emotion... He wouldn't care for anyone except for his sister. If he was to care for someone, and that someone should be Yuki, then he only has one more month to do so. He did promise that this would be their last assignment and his agent, Red, promised that he would keep his end of the bargain. This was the last. After all of this, he's through... of_ everything_.

He got the notepad in front of him. He looked at it for a few minutes and read the words on the page.

_Where you are seems to be as far as an eternity  
Outstretched arms, open hearts  
And if it never ends then when do we start?_

It was the lyrics. It was the words that could fit perfectly into the melody of the piece he played. He found out that the keyboard in his room was MIDI capable. He connected it to his laptop and converted it to an mp3. After that, he recorded it to his i-pod to listen to it. Somehow he hoped that it could somehow revive something from his past, relying on the fact that he played it without any knowledge of exactly how. But of course it failed. The only thing that came out of his head were these words.

He thought of the melody. The first piano piece that he ever played in Yuki's apartment. The _only_ piano piece he knew. He didn't even know when he learned to play the piano. 'C'mon. I didn't even know_ anything_ about myself other than the past seven years of my life.' Jed answered the curiosity within him.

He didn't even have the title for it. He continued to read the lyrics.

_I'll never leave you behind or treat you unkind  
I know you understand  
And with a tear in my eye, give me the sweetest goodbye  
That I ever did receive_

Since when did he learn to write lyrics, anyway?

Jed closed his notepad and massaged his temples. His head was starting to hurt again. He stood up and went to his bedroom, carrying with him his i-pod and notepad. He placed them inside his drawer and fetched a brown leather trench coat from the cabinet. He put it on and got his katana which was lying on his bed. He hooked it on his belt which gave it the advantage of not being seen in plain view.

He bent down and looked under his bed. He reached for something and pulled it. It was his sports bag. He rummaged through his belongings and got a plastic bottle - aspirin. He removed the cap and got two pills from it. He closed it, put it back in his bag, and pushed the bag back.

With the pills in hand, he went to the kitchen and poured himself a glass of water. He put the pills into his mouth and pushed it down with water. He sighed deeply. He could feel the medicine doing its job fully. He could feel the migraine start to go away.

He heard his stomach growl. He looked at his watch, 2 p.m. 'No wonder... I skipped lunch. Damn it!' He estimated the time for Yuki to finish. 'Let's see... 20 minutes to take a shower then another 10 minutes to get ready.' He looked at his watch again. 'Only ten minutes had passed, I can still eat before we leave.' With that, he went to the fridge and fetched some loaf bread. He put it on the table and turned around to get more ingredients for his lunch.

'I shouldn't have done that. I don't even know _why_ I did that. I should've just let it be. Why do I have to ask him those stupid questions?'

Yuki hung his head low as he felt the water trickle down his spine. How could he be so pathetic? Especially in front of the guy he hated so much.

Yuki wanted to do something, something that could somehow change everything that happened in his living room. He wanted to forget, but of course he knew such a thing could never happen. He lost. In that little game of wits he and Jed just did, he lost. For the first time, he lost. He lost to someone who was selfish, arrogant and thought so highly of himself.

'Move on, Eiri.' Yuki said to himself. That's right. He had to move on. One lousy argument was just the beginning because he now swore to himself that he would win the next time any situation like this would happen again.

He turned the faucet off and wrapped a towel on his waist. He went out of the bathroom and walked down the hallway towards his room.

Jed stopped. With food in his hands, ready to take another bite from his sandwich, he halted. He looked straight through the living room and through the hallway, and there he was. Half-naked, with a towel wrapped around his waist which was threatening to fall with his every step. He stared at him until he reached his bedroom, opened the door, went inside, and closed it.

Jed froze, not just physically, but all _of_ him literally froze. He could just swear he felt his own heart stop beating in a second or two there. 'What was that? What the fuck did I just do?'

He put his sandwich back to its plate and brought his hands to his face. 'What is the fucking matter with me? I can't let this happen again... God...' He removed his hands from his face and picked up the sandwich. 'No. I can do this. I can't let myself be like that again... I won't let that happen.' With a determined mind, he took a big bite from his lunch, and another one, and another one. After three bites, he finished the whole thing. Then he got the water beside the plate and drank it all in one gulp. He breathed heavily and dropped his head on the kitchen counter.

"I never thought that guys like you could eat that fast."

Jed brought his head up only to be met up with Yuki's. He glared at him and said, "Now, you know." He stood up and put all the dishes on the sink. "So, where to?"

Yuki looked at him blankly and turned around. Jed followed him out of the apartment and on the corridors towards the elevator.

"Jed.Jed.Jed.Jed.Jed.Jed.Jed.Jed.Jed.Jed.Pick up.Pick up.Pick up.Pick up.Pick up.Pick up.Pick up.Pick up!"

Yuki turned around and raised an eyebrow on Jed. Jed was oblivious to his actions and got his cellphone from his pocket. He looked at the screen, his face clearly showed confusion.

'Why would she call me in the middle of the afternoon?' He opened it up and put the receiver on his ear. Yuki turned around and pressed the down button of the elevator.

"Yeah."

"I'VE GOT A SURPRISE FOR YOU!"

Jed quickly removed the cellphone from his ear and inhaled. He brought the cellphone back and hissed on the mouthpiece. "Damn it, Kat. Do you have to shout?"

"Sorry... I was just so excited. Look, I want to meet you tonight. Me and the band are going out to have a drink."

"Can't"

"What do you mean, you can't?"

"What do you think does it mean?"

"Smartass! Anyway... YOU HAVE TO GO! Like I said, I've got something for you. The last time I told you we were going to have a drink, you didn't come."

Both men got inside the elevator. Jed looked at Yuki, who only looked at the door of the lift. He sighed and as soon as Kat heard that she yelled again.

"YEY! YOU'RE THE GREATEST, JED! I'll meet you at the Rage RestoBar at around ten. I know that you work for the whole day _and _night, so you can bring Yuki-san with you. It's a really great place so he'll definitely hook up with someone. THANKS, BRO! BYE!"

"Damn that kid..." Jed said as he closed his phone and placed it back to his pocket just in time for the "ding".

Both men got out of the elevator and walked to the front door of the building.

"What kind of a ringtone was that?" Yuki asked him a bit bewildered by the noisy tune.

"Kat recorded it right before we left home for Tokyo. She said that it would be better if it was a bit annoying so that it would be certain that I would pick it up."

"Smart girl. She really knows you, doesn't she?" Yuki asked again as they both stepped out of the building and to their respective vehicles.

Jed looked at Yuki straight in the eye and Yuki found himself look straight into him. He knew what Jed was thinking. He was thinking why he was suddenly talking to him, when just moments ago, they were having their little argument. The last time he checked, they were supposed to ignore each other, _ completely_. But the curiosity just got the best of him.

Jed broke their eye contact and sat on his Ducati and looked down. Then he smiled, a small but a sweet one. He lifted his head, still with that radiant smile, and looked at Yuki.

Yuki only found himself rooted to the spot. 'Oh my God...' Yuki thought as he looked at Jed. He smiled. The cold-hearted bastard smiled and Yuki found himself mesmerized by it. He never thought that he would feel like this towards someone, _again_. One smile... That was it. Just one bright smile made his heart beat so fast that he felt like it would free itself from his ribcage any time soon.

"She knows every inch of me." Jed told him as he shifted his gaze downward and back to him again. Yuki saw him sigh and remove the helmet from the handle of the bike. He put it on and waited patiently for Yuki to get in his car.

Yuki looked down and composed himself unnoticeably. He had plenty of time to think about this, but not now. Not that he was right in front of him. He got the keys from his pocket and pressed the alarm button to set the alarm off. He opened the door and got in. He closed his eyes and breathed deeply. Fully composed now, he started the ignition, warmed up the engine a bit, switched the gear to reverse, stepped on the accelerator and finally drove out of the building.

* * *

**Author's Notes:**

I am so so so sorry for the very late update. Hope y'all like this one. If there are still some grammar corrections, all are welcome.

And to all the people who reviewed, thanks a lot guys!

Before I forget, there's a scene back at CHAPTER 6 : VISITATION that I added... just a tiny one.

Thanks a lot for reading, and peace out.

Here's another song for all the emo's out there:

_Everywhere I go  
Everyone I meet  
Every time I try to fall in love  
They all want to know why I'm so broken  
Why am I so cold  
Why I'm so hard inside.  
Why am I scared  
What am I afraid of  
I don't even know  
This story's never had an end  
I've been waiting  
I've been searching  
I've been hoping  
I've been dreaming you would come back  
But I know the ending of this story  
You're never coming back  
Never!_


	10. surprise

* * *

**_CHAPTER TEN  
Surprise_**

* * *

'This guy is unbelievable!'

Again, they were in the park. Yuki was seated on the same bench and Jed was standing on the same spot beside the bench and, as usual, both of them stared towards the railings.

'If he'll pass out again, there's no way I'll carry him to his car.'

Jed glanced at the guy just a few feet away from him. There he sat again, eyes closed, head cocked back, both arms rested on the backrest of the bench, his left hand held a half-full can of beer while the other held a cigarette.

"Why do you love this place so much?" Jed couldn't help himself from asking. For almost two months, they've been going to this place but he never really understood why.

"I don't know..." Jed noticed that Yuki's voice lost any hint of sarcasm in it. "I think it's something which helps me remind some things."

"Do these things hurt?" Jed asked while keeping his gaze towards the railings.

"What do you mean?" Yuki turned his head to face Jed.

"Do they hurt? When you remember them, do they hurt?" Jed turned to face Yuki.

Yuki looked away from him and removed his hands from the backrest and put it on his lap. He took a long drag from his cigarette and threw it. "Yeah."

"Then you shouldn't come here." Jed said casually.

"You know what, I keep telling myself the same thing." Yuki laughed a little. Jed never saw the author smile, let alone laugh, so he was really shocked to see it. But he could also see the sorrow which was all over that laugh. Yuki looked at him again and said, "But something in me just wants to be here. It wants me to remember. Even though it hurts me so much, that part of me doesn't want me to forget. You know what I mean?"

Of course Jed knew what he meant. He felt that every fuckin' night. He didn't want to remember but something in him forces him to do so.

He just inhaled deeply and said back, "Yeah."

Yuki looked back to the railings and gulped down his beer then he threw it to the garbage can beside the bench. "Didn't your sister invite you to some night-out or something?"

"Yeah... But I really don't likeWoah! How the hell did you know that?"

Yuki only gave him a knowing look and Jed automatically understood. Kat's voice was way beyond human capacity.

"Oh yeah... You heard." Jed said. "She said she had something for me but I'm not really into surprises. So I think I wouldn't"

"You should go." Yuki cut him off.

Jed looked at him and said, "I can't. I still have to work."

"Then I'll come with you. That way, you can work while spending time with your family."

"Look, I'm a professional. I don't habr night-offs or some"

"Fine. I'll go to the bar." Yuki cut him off again. "That way you're still doing your work. Let's just say I went there on my own will and as my bodyguard, you accompanied me. How does that sound?"

"Whatever."

Yuki stood up and went to his car with Jed following him closely.

It was a good idea, though. It would come out that he was just doing his job, and as a bodyguard, he simply accompanied his client to this certain bar.

But what he didn't get was why Yuki was suddenly so nice to him. No sarcastic comments and no glares. 'I mean, he even gave a fairly nice idea.' Jed thought to himself.

Jed looked at Yuki as he went inside his car and started his engine. He turned around and seated comfortably on his motorcycle. As he ran off to follow Yuki, he thought of his sister. 'What could be that surprise?'

* * *

Rage RestoBar was really nice. The line outside of the building was really long and there were at least three bouncers at the front door. One could see that not anybody could just go inside of the said building. One could also see that there were also some famous people going inside of the building. From rock stars to movie stars. From politicians to famous company presidents. A famous person could definitely hang out here without ever worrying about paparazzis and wild screaming fans.

Jed and Yuki walked directly to the bouncer in front of the building. The ones in line, who were only people trying their best to mingle with famous people, just eyed them suspiciously.

"I believe we have a reservation." Jed said to the bouncer.

The bouncer looked at him from head to toe and did the same to Yuki. He looked again at Jed, this time, his eyes glued to the katana.

Jed realized what the bouncer meant and continued, "I also believe that the reservation clearly stated that I could bring my sword with me inside the building."

The bouncer looked at him suspiciously and said, "Name."

"Yuki Eiri and Jedrick." Jed replied. "I think we're under the name Katarina and the band Bad Luck."

The bouncer said something to his mouthpiece while keeping an eye at both men. He nodded a couple of times and removed the red rope from the pole, clearly saying that they could enter. "This way. Follow me." And as directed, Yuki and Jed followed him.

The two-storey building was huge. The lights were only enough to recognize the people in there. It was a bit crowded but not that much. A stage with a killer DJ was situated at the far end while people dance to every beat. On the right side, there was a bar which was equipped with lots of stools and all of the drinks you could ever think of, both alcoholic and not. Then on the other side, at least eight large sofas surrounding a circular table were built. Then on top was numerous lighting machines and also a foaming machine. The place was also safe seeing that there were ten fire exits on both floors. On the second floor, there were maybe five large rooms. One could see this from the dance floor because the rooms were carefully built to overlook the scene in the first floor. The people on top could see the first floor but the people on the first floor couldn't see the people on the second floor.

The bouncer in front of Jed waved at them to say that the people they were looking for were on the second floor. Jed followed his hand movements and started to go up the stairs. But before he did, he realized that Yuki was no longer behind him. He climbed a few steps to see a clearer view of the dance floor and then he saw that distinct blonde head. Apparently, Yuki was not having such a good time.

Jed smiled at the scene and contemplated whether to leave Yuki there. The purpose of his job took over and he went down and squeezed through bodies and, thankfully, got to Yuki. He was only a few feet away from him but he didn't get him out of there yet. He watched as at least four women danced seductively around Yuki. The girls grabbed his butt, caressed his face, played with his hair and even one of them almost had her way inside his pants. Yuki's face was in total chaos. It was clear that he wanted it all to stop.

'Isn't this what he wanted?' Jed sighed deeply. 'I really can't understand this guy.'

He walked through some people and reached Yuki. He quickly swung his arms around the author's neck and pulled him close.

Jed could see how shocked Yuki was by the sudden action, but relief quickly followed it as soon as he saw Jed's face.

Jed smiled at him and shouted. "There you are! I've been looking all over for you!" With that, he guided Yuki out of the dance floor and up the staircase. As soon as they reached the top, Jed released Yuki from his grip and smiled at Yuki.

"You should have seen yourself out there."

Yuki glared at him, the worst glare he could ever give to anybody, and shouted. "Why didn't you come any sooner? You're my fucking bodyguard, you dumbass!"

Jed just shook his head and strolled down the corridor. He looked at every door and at the third door, he saw the name Bad Luck posted on it. He knocked a couple of times but no one answered. He tried but still had the same response. He opened the door and was only met with darkness. Yuki now caught up with him and both of them stood on the doorway of the room.

Jed was about to turn around when suddenly...

"SURPRISE!"

The whole band was there and so was Kat, Tatsuha, Mika, and Tohma. Jed was aware that there would be a surprise but he didn't know that there would be these much people. He didn't even know what the whole thing was all about.

Then it occurred to him.

There were balloons and little firecrackers. All of them were wearing these little party hats and a cake was carefully held in front of him. He looked up and he read what was written on the streamers: Happy Birthday, Jed!

'Oh, my God.'

Now, he remembered. This was exactly the date that Kat found him, and to Kat, this was his birthday.

They were all singing the "Happy Birthday" song while Kat walked to him with the cake. After they finished the song, Kat motioned her eyes to the "30" candles and told him, "C'mon. Blow the candles!"

Jed looked at each of them. He was wondering why they were all here and why they ever gave a damn about his birthday. He looked at Yuki beside him and Yuki only looked at him back. He saw him go inside and walk beside Tohma, clearly stating that he knew about the whole thing.

'Damn that author! So that was why he was all nice to me today!' Jed thought as he glared at Yuki.

Yuki just said casually, "Hey, I never knew about it. Not until your sister called me up before we got out of the house."

Jed disregarded his excuse and looked at Kat. She was smiling brightly. He smiled at her gesture and after seeing that, Kat just beamed at him. He bowed down a bit and blew the candles. As soon as he did, he heard them applaud. Frankly, Jed was grateful that for the first time, there were a lot of people who were there for his birthday. Before it was only Kat, Red, and a certain somebody...

Kat cut off the noise and placed the cake back to the table. "I have another surprise for you..." Her smile was not like what he saw earlier. It was more of an understanding and caring smile and it was more heartfelt. She turned around from Jed and with a much louder voice said, "Come out."

A girl in her late twenties moved her way among the guests towards Jed. She was gorgeous. She had long brown wavy hair, light brown eyes and smooth fair skin. She was kind of tall but not as tall as Jed. She was wearing a long light yellow skirt, a pair of white-strapped high heels and a white silk spaghetti-strapped shirt which perfectly fitted her. She looked like a goddess.

She smiled at Jed and said softly, "Happy Birthday, Jed."

Jed's face was full of emotions. 'Why is she here? How the hell did sheGod, I don't even know what I'm thinking anymore.'

"Why" Jed managed to say.

The girl just shook her head as she walked to Jed to stand closer to him. She put her palm on his cheek and caressed it with her thumb. She looked at Jed closely, especially his face.

"You're thin." was the last thing she said before Jed suddenly pulled her into a strong and warm embrace. He closed his eyes as he inhaled the girl's scent, still holding her tightly as if afraid to let go. In return the girl only embraced him tightly and buried her face in Jed's neck afraid of letting Jed see her cry.

"God, I missed you so much." He hugged her tighter. "Ren..."

* * *

**Author's Notes:**

I know it's short but I had to cut it so that it had some kind of a cliffhanger ending...

Everything about Ren would be on the next chapter and her purpose in the story will also be revealed. Just five more chapters to go and I'm done.

And oh yeah... I've edited a part in CHAPTER 4 : BLOOD AND TEARS... I just removed the first kiss thing... I'm really sorry if I couldn't stick to the things I've written... Sorry!

I've also edited this chapter and chapter nine because, apparently, there were some things I missed. Again, I've taken ** CassiToTheStars**' review into consideration and edited the paragraph she commented on. Almost all of the sentences still started with the word "She" but I think it sounds better. I have to do it for the sense of parallelism and the word "fitted" doesn't act as a verb but as an adjective.

Thanks to those who reviewed! I just can't wait to finish this thing!

Here's another song...

_So deep that it didn't even bleed and catch me  
Off guard, red handed  
Now I'm far from lonely  
Asleep I still see you lying next to me  
So deep that it didn't even bleed and catch me I.._

I need something else  
Would someone please just give me  
Hit me, knock me out  
And let me go back to sleep  
I can laugh  
All I want inside I still am empty  
So deep that it didn't even bleed and catch me I...

I'll be just fine  
Pretending I'm not  
I'm far from lonely  
And it's all that I've got


	11. accident

* * *

**_CHAPTER ELEVEN  
Accident_**

* * *

He just watched them there, talking and sitting so close. He could see that they really felt something for each other. So, this was the only thing he could do as of the moment. Watch... Watch the person he's developing feelings for get close to someone who was clearly very special to him.

'It was all because of that stupid smile. If that didn't happen, my head wouldn't be in so much disorder right now.'

Yes, it all started when Jed gave Yuki that smile. It was then that Yuki admitted to himself that there was definitely something. Though he hated Jed's guts, he couldn't deny the fact that there was that strong attraction the first time he saw Jed's face. Then there was Jed's breakdown in front of him. At that time, he couldn't explain why he felt himself crush every time he saw Jed in pain. Then, there was that kiss. He knew that for Jed it was nothing, but Yuki knew that there was absolutely something there... Then, finally, the smile. It was like the final piece of the puzzle.

Ever since he met Jed, he couldn't stop himself from thinking of him. Of course, thoughts of Shuichi still flooded his mind, but it was not like before. He couldn't quite place it, but somehow, it was like Jed dominated Shuichi. As days passed, Yuki said to himself that it was only because of Jed's resemblance to Shuichi. He tried to convince himself that the only explanation for his feelings was because of Jed's likeness to Shuichi's attributes.

But, you see, it never ended that way.

Yuki thought of how cold Jed was on the outside and imagined how hot he could be inside. He wanted to be closer to Jed. Every time he talked to him, he could feel his heart beat faster. Every time he heard Jed's screams due to his nightmares, he wanted to destroy the damned door just to be there for him. He wanted to be with him. He _wanted_ him.

Unlike before, he was brave enough to admit that to himself. He was already tired of denying it, so here he was now, accepting it.

But as he looked at the couple at the corner of the room he's in, he contemplates... Was it really a good idea to pursue these feelings? 'Just look at him... He looks so happy to be with that girl...'

"They look really great together, don't they?"

Yuki turned around and saw Kat sit beside him on the large sofa. Jed and the girl named Ren were sitting on the opposite corner, away from the group, and talking.

"Yeah, they sure do." Yuki replied as he sipped his drink.

Tatsuha approached both of them and started asking questions softly. "Are they a couple?"

Actually, Yuki was glad that Tatsuha joined the conversation. For the first time, he was grateful for his presence. This way, he could find the answers without revealing himself to anybody. Tatsuha could just do the asking, and he could just do the listening. So that was what he did, he listened... closely.

"Yep... they _were_." Kat answered the raven-haired man.

"What happened?" Tatsuha asked again.

Kat hesitated a bit, but sighed and simply answered the question. "You see, Karen is my cousI mean, friend. More of a family friend, really. She worked on computers and was a really great help to us back then. She was a self-acclaimed hacker and she worked with us. She helped me with all the hacking, while Jed do all the killing and sometimes, I also help him with that. Then, feelings evoked. Karen was the only girl Jed ever loved and, apparently, the only person he will _only_ love."

Yuki removed his eyes from Kat as soon as he heard her words, but Kat was oblivious to his actions.

Then she continued, "They really loved each other. But of course, with our job, love doesn't come in nice pretty packages. There was this leader in a well-know gang. His right-hand was assassinated and the person who did that was Jed. The leader was furious with what happened so he decided to get back at Jed. They tried to kidnap me, but that failed, because I was well-guarded at that time. Then he kidnapped Karen because he found out that Jed and Karen were lovers. At first, Jed was agitated but, thankfully, he got over it quickly."

"Wow... if that was me, I don't think I would have that much time to think clearly." Tatsuha said.

"Exactly. But you see, Jed had a lot of self-control. He got me to tap into the gang's latest telephone conversations. I traced them so that I could give him the exact address as to where they could possibly take Karen. Then he charged."

"Charged, as in took the mission all by himself?" Tatsuha asked disbelievingly.

"Yep..." Kat answered as she sipped her martini.

"Wow... So I'm assuming he won?" Tatsuha asked again.

"Of course. You haven't even seen half of what that guy could do to people." Kat said.

"A real murderer." Yuki whispered to himself but Kat heard him.

"I know it was not something to be proud of but if that happened to you, would you really not do the same thing? What I mean is, if a person hurt someone you loved, could you really leave that person walk on the streets?"

Yuki remembered Aizawa Taki... He almost killed the guy because of what he did to Shuichi. He removed his gaze from Kat and looked at his drink. Of course, he understood...

Tatsuha saw Yuki became uncomfortable under Kat's gaze so he said, "So, what happened next? Why did they break up."

Kat looked at Tatsuha and continued her story, "Jed decided that they should be apart. He said that it would be best if they just went their separate ways. Jed wanted her to live a new life, away from illegal businesses. That way, there would be less complications in their relationship. That really crushed Karen but it was clear that Jed was in more pain than she was, but she still obeyed him. You see, even if Karen was a hacker, she was still in the same line of business like ourselves, so she was also very rich. She went to Europe to finish school because she stopped for a few years to try a new life. Now, she's a graduate of Business Management and is already the president of their family business in America."

"That was some story..." Tatusha commented.

"Yeah... It was..." Kat said as she finished her drink. At that moment, Fujisaki, who was standing right behind her the whole time, sat beside her and put his arms around her. Kat looked at him and smiled softly, "I just hope it won't happen to me..." Fujisaki just held his grip on her tighter and kissed the side of her forehead. He brought his hand to her head and pushed it softly to rest on his shoulder. Then he whispered to her, "Don't worry... It won't."

* * *

"You like him, don't you?" Ren asked the man seated in front of him.

Jed broke his gaze towards Yuki and looked at Ren. "What do you mean?"

Ren motioned her head in Yuki's direction and said, "Him. The sexy blonde guy. He's really cute, isn't he?"

"Excuse me? He's a guy!" Jed retorted. "Besides, he's a client."

"Oh, c'mon! I know you, Jed. The way you look at him, there's something there..."

"Could we just change the topic please?" Jed told her.

Ren smiled at her ex-lover and put down her drink. "Fine. So, how've you been?"

"The usual." Jed replied casually.

"Still nothing? Still no memories, whatsoever?" Ren asked as she put her hand over his.

Jed only shook his head and sighed to answer her question. Ren removed her hand from Jed's and put it on his shoulder then she rested her head on head on Jed's other shoulder. "Seven years... It had been exactly seven years and still no memory... There has got to be a way, Jed. You can't just live your life like this. You can't just live your life without having any clue on what your life was before. There has got to be a way..."

Jed shifted a little to look at Ren. Ren removed her head from his shoulder and looked at him too. Jed took her hand as he looked at it and caressed it. Then looked again at Ren with a sad smile on his face. "It doesn't really matter. I'm happy with my life right now and I don't plan to change any of it."

"So, you don't want to remember?" Ren asked him.

"Not necessarily. You know how much it hurt me whenever I had those flashbacks, well actually, the same flashback every fuckin' night. But of course, I still want to know who I was before I became Jed. I think about that everyday, but come to think of it, there is really no reason of doing so. I just have to let it be..."

Jed held her hand tightly but he felt something on one of her fingers. He looked at it and he smiled brightly at Ren. "Enough about me. I see you're planning to walk down the aisle."

Ren fixed her gaze on the diamond ring on her left hand and smiled at him. "Yeah... His name's Ryan. A big pain in the ass but, still, a person worth loving."

"So, when's the big day?" Jed asked her again.

"Two months from now. I came back to fix some things with the brotherhood before I go back to America to finalize the wedding."

"Oh, yeah... I miss those guys. So how are they?"

"Still strong and running but of course they miss the top duo assassins, especially considering the fact that Kat was supposed to head the brotherhood next year." Ren smiled at him.

"I know, but I think that wouldn't happen anymore. We promised ourselves that this bodyguard thing would be the last job. Besides, look at them." Jed shifted his gaze towards Fujisaki and Kat. Ren only smiled as she looked at them.

Jed furrowed his eyebrows in concentration. "Wait, if you're going to take care of your business in America and there is no way for Kat to take over her father's position by next year, who's doing the job?"

"My brother, of course! He's the only legitimate candidate so that the bloodline won't be eliminated."

Jed smiled as the realization hit him. Of course, it would be Jared, or better known as Red. The guy had been their agent for a long time and was also his best friend. He's pretty good at what he do and there's no doubt he'll do even better in regard to the wellness of the brotherhood.

Kat stood up and pulled Jed with him. "C'mon, let's go down. This could be like my bachelorette party and I want to dance all night." She removed her grip on him and said, "I'll just go over there to tell my cousin."

"Wait." Jed quickly grabbed her arm. Ren turned around and looked at him, confused by his sudden actions. "Don't regard to her as your cousin when those people are there. To them, Kat and I are still siblings. If you go there and shout 'cous', then they'll definitely question my relationship with her because I had her cousin as a lover."

Ren smiled at him and nodded in response. Jed let go of her arm and went out of the room.

* * *

They danced to every beat and to every tune. Every movement was perfect for the melody. It was no wonder why people started to look at their way. The couple danced gracefully on the dance floor, and, rather, temptingly. They really set the dance floor on fire.

Unknown to them, two amber eyes were watching them. The owner of those eyes was now clenching the glass of whisky in his hand, too much actually that it was already threatening to break into a million pieces.

"Give me that." Yuki turned his head to the direction where the sudden voice came from. Tohma merely smiled at him and got the whisky from his hand and put it on the table.

They were standing on the window of the room where they were at. It was a big advantage because the people they were observing had no clue that they were being watched. Both men had their backs on the whole crowd.

Ryuichi was now asleep, with his head on Tatsuha's shoulders while Tatsuha's arm was around the older man, also sleeping soundly. K and Sakano had already left saying that they had to be home to be with their families. As for Hiro, he went home right after the blowing of the candles because Ayaka, his wife, was already getting hysterical concerning her pregnancy. Kat and Fujisaki were also downstairs, dancing their butts off. Food was all over the place and so were alcoholic drinks. Thank God there were no broken glasses anywhere.

Seeing that it was only Tohma, Yuki returned his gaze to the couple on the dance floor.

"I never knew that Jed could dance that well." Tohma said as he sipped his own whisky.

"Me neither." Yuki bluntly replied.

"You like him, don't you?" Tohma asked as he fully faced Yuki.

Yuki was shocked of the sudden question. He turned and faced Tohma.

He could always deny it, but this was Tohma he's talking about. He knew him like an open book. He hung his head low, clearly avoiding Tohma's eyes and quietly said, "I... don't know..."

"You're feeling like you're betraying him, aren't you?" Tohma asked, but received only silence in response. "You have to move on, Eiri. For seven years, you had been so lonely. Maybe he's the one you need to be happy again. I know that would have been what Shuichi wanted for you."

At the mention of Shuichi's name, Yuki raised his head and looked at his brother-in-law. "But"

Yuki suddenly stopped at the sudden voice that came to the room. She was catching her breath as she spoke, "Wow, Jed. Who could've thought that a stoic person like you could dance that good?" Ren said in between breaths as she smiled widely at Jed. Jed only smiled at her comment.

'She could even make him smile like that...' Yuki grabbed his coat from the sofa and walked towards the door of the room. Tohma only watched his every movement with a sad expression on his face.

"Wait." Yuki turned around. He was already on the corridor of the second floor when Jed suddenly stopped him. He saw Jed get his katana and trench coat from the corner of the room and proceeded out the door when Ren blocked the doorway.

"Whenever you need anything, absolutely anything at anytime, you know how you can reach me." Ren said as she kissed his cheek and hugged him tightly. "Same thing here." Jed said to her.

After seeing that, Yuki closed his eyes and walked faster towards the stairs and out of the building.

* * *

'Why the hell is he in such a hurry?'

They were now traveling through quiet streets of Tokyo. Jed noticed that they've taken a different route, but he just followed the black car in front of him. Then he smelled something.

"The beach..." He looked to his left and there it was. He never knew that there was a beach in this part of the city, and an open beach at that. He stopped his motorcycle and removed his helmet. He closed his eyes as he felt the ocean breeze touch his face.

* * *

"What theWhat's he up to now?" Yuki looked at his side mirror and saw Jed stop. He stepped on the brakes and stopped for a few moments. He sighed deeply. He switched the gear to reverse and stepped on the accelerator. He stopped in front of Jed's motorcycle, turned off the engine and got out of the car. He leaned on the car and looked at the beach in front of them.

"What now?" Yuki asked without even looking at Jed.

* * *

Jed got out of his motorcycle and leaned against it, with the same position Yuki had. "Nothing. I just wanted to see the beach." Jed faced Yuki. "Why were you in such a hurry, anyway?"

"Look at your watch." Jed brought his wrist into view and removed the sleeve covering his watch: 4:15 a.m. No wonder Yuki wanted to go home, the sun would rise anytime soon.

He put both his hands inside his pockets and looked at the beach again. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to stay so"

"It was your birthday. It was understandable." Yuki said as he lighted a cigar and took a quick drag. Jed looked at him menacingly but Yuki disregarded it. "Don't even try."

Jed sighed and returned his gaze to the vast space before them then he hear Yuki's voice again, "Why are you so fond of anything that had something to do with water, anyway?"

Jed looked at him, confusion clearly seen on his features. "Whenever it rains, I can always find you before the window. When you're in the bathroom, it takes you hours to finish." Yuki quickly added, "Not that I'm complaining or anything. You wake up really early and I never ran out of hot water, so it's ok." Then he continued, "And now this. The beach. Why do you like it so much?"

Jed cocked his head back and faced the sky. "The rain are the angel's crying. Whenever I take a bath, I soak myself with water because it somehow let me fell that I am cleansed inside, or something. The beach... I don't know. I just loved looking at it."

"Not really the answers I was looking for." Yuki said.

"Yeah... I can get pretty weird explanations for" Jed suddenly stopped. 'Oh my god... It's happening again.'

But this time, it wasn't the usual blur. Everything was clear. Suddenly, he was in a different place and before he got there, the last thing he heard was Yuki's voice shouting his name.

* * *

He was standing under the light of a certain lamp post at the side of the street. It was like he was watching a movie, the only difference was he was in it.

It was late in the evening and it was raining lightly. A teenage girl and an elderly man, most probably her father, were walking with their arms hooked with each other. The girl pointed to an ice cream rolling store at the other side of the street. Her father smiled at her sweetly and nodded a couple of times.

"Kat..." Jed whispered quietly.

Swiftly, he found himself walking down the street. It was like there were two different persons in one body. Jed was trapped inside and the other one was the one conscious of their every movement. Jed noticed that that person was talking to somebody on his cellphone. Being in the same body as he is, he could feel that this person was happy and was contented. He also knew that the person he was talking to was very special and meant everything to him.

Jed settled into the body, letting himself be taken over but still be conscious with his surroundings.

Jed saw Kat's father stand under the lamp post. Then he saw Kat wave to her father and the man also waved back. Both of them looked incredibly happy and the other person in him was also happy to see them that way.

Then he saw something.

Someone was hiding in the bushes. He focused his eyes to see a clearer image of the moving figure. His eyes widened in surprise. That person was holding a sniper gun and the laser was pointed directly at...

'Kat's father.' Jed thought.

Then he heard the sound of gun fire three times.

And that was the moment that it was all clear... The accident. The damned flashbacks were all about the accident that made him forget all about himself.

* * *

**Author's Notes:**

Yey! Another chapter out! Yep, the accident.

First off, I just want to thank everyone who reviewed. I mean, at first, there were just three people who reviewed for this story but now there are so many of you! Thanks a lot!

I don't think I can make it in fifteen chapters... Maybe it'll increase. Maybe 16 or 18. I'm not really sure.

And oh yeah, if anyone of you guys have a friendster account just add me up: for all the support guys!

_Well if you wanted honesty, That's all you had to say.  
I never want to let you down or have you go, it's better off this way.  
For all the dirty looks,  
For photographs your boyfriend took,  
Remember when you broke your foot from jumping out the second floor? _

_I'm not okay.  
I'm not okay.  
I'm not okay.  
You wear me out. _

* * *


	12. earring

* * *

**_CHAPTER TWELVE  
Earring_**

* * *

The image still played itself over and over again in his mind. He didn't give a damn about what happened that night but it seemed like he had no choice but to remember such things.

With his eyes still closed, he remembered everything that happened that night...

**_flashback_**

He was walking down the street talking to somebody on his cellphone. It was a man's voice, it was cold but gentle. He couldn't quite distinguish who that voice belonged to but he could feel that that man was very important to him.

He smiled at the comment the man said and replied, "Bye!". With that, he closed his cellphone and put it back to his pocket.

It was raining slightly as he walked farther. He saw an older man standing under the light of a certain lamp post. Although he was old, it was clear that he was rich. He had a pair of slacks and a thick trench coat on with a brown scarf tied around his neck.

"Daddy, I'm getting you vanilla. Will that be alright with you?" a feminine voice came from the other side of the road as she waved to the man under the lamp post.

"That would be just fine." The man said back.

Then he noticed something.

He saw a moving figure somewhere near the bushes of the park he was in. He fixated his eyes on the shadow and he was shocked when realized that the figure held a gun. He was only a few feet away from the man and he saw a moving red dot on the elder man's back... straight to his heart.

He ran as fast as he could to the elder man and jumped at him.

"Get down!" was the last thing he said as he heard two gun shots. He could feel the intense pain in his head and chest as he dropped on the pavement.

As he lied on the floor, he looked at the street and he saw the girl ran towards them. "Daddy!" the girl screamed as she got a pistol from her back and aimed it to a figure in front of her. She fired once and the last thing he heard was a painful scream before he closed his eyes.

* * *

There was noise all over the place. He was at peace and all of a sudden there was an immense amount of noise.

'Shut the fuck up!' His mind screamed to them but, of course, they wouldn't listen.

He ignored all the noises and began to feel aware of his surroundings. He was in total darkness. He couldn't see anything, not even his hands. He screamed his lungs out but, still, no voice echoed in the dark place. But he could hear something though... The steady beating of his heart. He couldn't just hear it, he could feel it. Pounding within his chest. Then it beat faster, like something is preventing it to be free, suffocating it. After a few moments, the pounding grew weaker and weaker... Then there was nothing... absolutely nothing.

The voices around him were starting to fade now and something in him wanted to sleep... sleep forever. But when he was about to do so, a blinding light presented itself before him. He brought his arm to his eyes to shield himself from the light. Slowly, he removed his arm and looked at the light.

It was warm, cozy and inviting. He wanted to go to it and be in it. So he walked, faster and faster, until it already came to a point that he was already running. He would make it. He would be in the light. He just knew that he would be happy there. No worries, no problems. He was going to make it.

'Just a little more...' He ran faster. The fastest run he ever did in his entire life.

But then in a mere second everything was absorbed into some kind of a hole. "NO!" He screamed.

He collapsed to the floor as darkness swallowed his body whole. There were no noises anymore, but there was also no warm light. Then he noticed that what was gone before came back.

His heartbeat.

**_end of flashback_**

Jed jolted from the bed. His breathing was fast and heavy. He was sweating buckets as he sat on the bed. He relaxed as he looked around and noticed that he was in his room. He also recognized that he had a pair of jogging pants as his only attire and it was already dark outside. He brought his hand to his nose, and as usual, there it was. Blood. He quickly wiped the blood off his nose by using the back of his hand.

It was all clear now. It wasn't a blur anymore. The flashbacks and nightmares he had were all about the accident.

'But why does it _only_ have to be that?' Jed thought as he covered his face with his palms. 'Didn't I have any happy memories?'

He remembered the piercing pain he felt within his head and chest. He knew what that meant but he tried to deny it. But out of nowhere, he just felt his hand rise from the sheets and place itself on his chest. He touched the five-inch scar embedded on his skin and as soon as he did, he closed his eyes. He knew that wound very well. It was weakening him every fuckin' day. Then he brought his hand on the top of his head, a few inches beyond his forehead. He knocked it a couple of times and after doing so, he immediately dropped his hands beside him.

He closed his eyes to keep the tears from coming out. He didn't want to cry but he also couldn't stop himself from doing so. He could still hear the sound that came out as soon as he knocked his head.

'Metal.'

Now he understood why his head was, literally, very hard. A metal plate was in his head because of the injury.

'The two shots were from the man in the bushes. One got my heart and the other got my head. The third one was from Kat intended for the man.' Jed thought as he analyzed the three gunshots. 'I was _supposed _to die that night.' That was the only explanation for the blinding light and the loss of his heartbeat.

'I can't stay here.'

He stood up, fetched a sweatshirt from one of the chairs and dressed himself. He almost touched the doorknob when suddenly it opened by itself. Jed looked up only to be met by Yuki's face.

"You're awake." Yuki said in a low tone. He was wearing a pair of slacks and a polo shirt which was buttoned only up to his chest.

"It looks like it." Jed said as he faced away from the blonde.

"You can't leave." Yuki calmly said as he leaned on the door jam.

"Why not?" Jed asked and faced Yuki.

"Because your sister told me not to let you go until tomorrow night." Yuki replied. "She's on a press conference with the band. And the girl your with on your birthday... What's her name?"

"Ren."

"Yeah, her. She also said she'd come by to check you up tomorrow. She had to leave because she had a crucial meeting."

"I don't care what they said. I'm getting out of here." Jed said as he shove past Yuki.

Yuki quickly grabbed his arm and brought him closer to his face. It was only then that Jed realized how small he was compared to Yuki. Yuki glared at him and said, "I said, 'You can't leave'." And with that, he led Jed out of his room and pushed him on the sofa of the living room.

"Watch some TV. Listen to the radio. Surf the net. Take a shower. Eat. Sleep. Drink. Hell, you can even play the fuckin' keyboard if you want. Just _don't_ leave." Yuki said as he glared even harder at him. "I'll be in my study."

* * *

"Yuki..."

He was about to turn around when he heard him. It was the first time he heard him say his name. He wondered why Jed asked him what he could call him but never did say his name. He looked at the lone figure sitting in front of him. Jed's head hung low and his face was almost covered with his hair.

Yuki sighed and sat beside him, just a few feet away from him. He just sat there, waiting for Jed to speak up.

"How long had I been out?" Jed said, still not facing Yuki.

"You have been in the hospital for three days then you slept here for a day, so a total of four days."

"Oh..." Jed said as he cocked his head back and rest it against the backrest. "So, do you know anything about my... uhm... condition?"

Well, actually, all he knew was that Jed had his usual breakdowns. When he went to the hospital, Kat, Ren and even Jared didn't let the doctor talk to him about his condition. They just wanted to let themselves know what happened to Jed because information should only be given to family members of the patient. So, he really didn't know much.

"All I know is you had your usual flashback thing..." Yuki replied.

"Good..." Jed said.

"Have you ever thought of killing yourself but you were always afraid to do so?" Jed asked Yuki again.

Yuki quickly faced Jed. "Don't even think about it. I don't have any plans to be accused of murder before I go to America."

Jed laughed a little, a sincere one. Yuki was a bit embarrassed by his outburst so he quickly regained his composure. "I mean, yeah... A lot of times but there is really no point in doing such a thing." He was now resting his head, too, on the backrest of the sofa.

Both men were staring at the ceiling when Jed spoke again, "But if you're dead, you don't have to worry about so many things. You could just relax."

"True, but could you really be extremely happy if you didn't experience the same extreme sadness? Could you love if you had not been rejected? Could you feel pleasure if there was no pain?" Yuki defended. "You have to live to feel all the good stuff."

Yuki caught a sight of Jed's smile at the corner of his eye and even with that, he was already contented. But then, Jed spoke again.

"Have you ever been in love?"

Yuki immediately thought of Shuichi. The only person he ever loved. He always thought that Kitazawa was his first, but it was only in Shuichi that he felt eternal bliss and now, he also planned to feel that again. With the person just a few feet away from him. "Yes..." He said quietly. "And you? Ren, huh?"

Jed shook his head lightly. "I was happy with her, I cared for her, I loved her but I don't think I was ever _in _love with her. Maybe that was why it never worked out." Then Jed continued, "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure... Why stop now?"

"What if you didn't know who you were? What if you didn't know who your friends or family were? What if these kind of questions kept on appearing in your head: Who am I? Who are they? Who was my first kiss? Who was my first love? Did I even have a lover? Were we happy? Was _I_ happy?" Jed said. "And every time you ask yourself those questions, it hurts inside. It hurts so much that you wanted to kill yourself just to stop the pain."

Yuki was confused at the question but oblivious to the meaning behind it, so he replied, "I don't know... But I would definitely stop at nothing to retrieve the answers to such questions."

"But what if I couldn't..." Yuki almost didn't hear his whisper but was shocked to see Jed bent down and brought his hands to his face. "God, why are all these happening to me all at once..." He heard him whisper.

Out of instinct, he moved closer to Jed and put his arms around him. He hated this stuff. 'I mean who could've thought that he could end up like this.' He hated having to comfort someone because he really had no idea of doing so.

He held his grip on the younger man tighter and bent down with him. He whispered to his ear, "Sh... It would be all right."

Jed sat up straight and wiped his tears away from his face and he smiled at Yuki. "I told myself to never cry in front of anybody, let alone you."

Yuki smiled at what he said and replied, "Baka..."

After he said that, he saw Jed's shocked expression right in front of him.

"What did you call me?"

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. I mean, I meant it because it was really stupid of you to think so but it didn't_ really_ mean like that. Oh, great, I'm going into circles here."

Jed bowed his head again and said softly, "Just forget about it... It's just that that word was somehow familiar to me... Ah, never mind." He stood up and started to walk away from Yuki but Yuki swiftly grabbed his wrist.

"Jed..."

* * *

It was the first time that Jed heard Yuki say his name like that. He could feel his heart beat faster as soon as Yuki stood up and went in front of him. Yuki touched his hair, and then his cheek, then his neck. He closed his eyes as he felt Yuki's thumb touch his lip. He opened his eyes and look straight at Yuki.

He was now aware of their position. Yuki's other hand was holding him tightly on his waist while his other hand caressed his face. His hands were dropped on his side as he stared at Yuki.

His head kept on screaming to make it all stop. That what he was doing would just hurt him in the near future. But everything within him didn't want to protest. He loved how Yuki held him. He loved how he touched his face. He loved the way Yuki looked at him. He loved everything Yuki was doing to him.

Then as he suspected, he kissed him and this time, he kissed him back. It was full of passion and warmth. Jed could feel that it wasn't just lust that was taking over there, it was mutual desire to be with one another.

Abruptly, Yuki broke the kiss and moved back a little. "I... I'm sorry. I... I didn't mean to. I shouldn't have done that. It was just that... I couldn't stop myself... I.. I'm sorr"

Jed didn't even let him finish as he brought Yuki's head up to face him. This time, he was the one to play with his hair, touch his face, his nose, his eyes, his lips, and his neck.

He smiled at Yuki and said, "Don't be." Then he caught Yuki's lips with his.

* * *

He awoke as he felt the bright rays of the sun set upon his face. He looked around and recognized that he was in his room. He looked to his right and there he was. Like an angel sleeping like a baby. He could see his face shine even though he was facing away from the sun.

Yuki rested on his right side. He brought his hand to comb Jed's hair. It was so soft, like silk. He smiled as he remembered the night before.

It was the best night he ever had in the past seven years. He spent last night with the one person he had very strong feelings for and there was no doubt in his mind that he wanted to continue this. He couldn't forget how they fitted perfectly, like they were meant for each other. He could remember how pleasurable it was when Jed did him and when it was his turn to do him. It was incredible.

He smiled again as he shifted closer to his new lover. He held him tighter as he inhaled his scent. He never wanted to let go of him. That was until he felt something as he combed his lover's hair.

He backed away a little to see what was there. Then his eyes widened.

'An earring.'

He gently removed it from Jed's ear and sat on the bed. He opened the bedside table drawer and got a blue box from the corner. He opened it and he compared the two. He closed his eyes as he clenched the jewelries in his hand.

**_flashback_**

"Would you marry me?" Yuki asked Shuichi as he kneeled on one knee. He held Shuichi's hand with his right hand and in his other hand was a small blue box.

They were in Shuichi's favorite restaurant and Yuki took the chance to propose to him. People were staring at them as they all floated on air by the thought of the two lovers getting married. And of course, being as popular as they were, reporters were just outside the restaurant trying their best to, at least, get a glimpse of the two lovers.

"Of course!" Shuichi screamed as he too got on his knees and hugged Yuki tightly. Yuki merely smiled and held him tightly too. Then he pulled back.

He opened the blue box and there were two white gold round earrings.

"Wasn't it supposed to be a ring?"

"You know I hate clichés."

Shuichi smiled at his fiancé and bowed down to read the inscription that was written in English: "You'll never be alone when you get home Eiri."

"So that was why you got me to pierce my ear a week ago." Shuichi teased.

"Yeah..." Yuki replied as he put the earring into his earlobe. "But I bought these about five months ago."

Shuichi's smile just grew wider as he got the other earring from the box. He removed Yuki's gold earring and put the new one in. Yuki just smiled as he was doing so.

"Love you." Shuichi cheerfully said as he kissed Yuki on the lips.

"Baka..."

**_end of flashback_**

'Shuichi's earring.'

* * *

He woke up slowly as he took notice of the room he was in. 'Yuki's room.' He smiled at the thought of his new lover. He looked for him inside the room, but he was nowhere to be seen. He sat on the bed as he stretched and yawned. He got his shirt and pants which was laid on the floor and went outside to find Yuki. He saw him by the window, sipping a mug of hot coffee. He smiled as he approached him but before he got to him, Yuki slowly turned to face him.

"Where'd you get this?" His face was expressionless. Like whatever happened last night was nothing to him.

He was mad, no, _furious_. He knew that this would happen. That Yuki would just disregard whatever it was that happened with them but he denied the possibility. Looks like he should have taken the threat seriously.

He sighed deeply as he looked at the object on Yuki's palm. He was surprised to see his earring there. He touched his earlobe, and true as it was, it was gone. He snatched it from Yuki's hand and attached it back to his ear.

"You've only slept with me once and you're already messing with my things. What the fuck is the matter with you?" He almost shouted.

This was the only thing that connected his past with his present life. He never let anyone touch this, not even himself. He tried his best not to remove it and, at the same time, hide it from plain view. 'So what gave Yuki the right to take this. This was _all_ a mistake.' Suddenly the thought of having Yuki as his lover was the last thing on his mind right now.

"Just answer the damned question. Where'd you get the earring!" Yuki shouted at him.

'And now _he's_ mad! Great!' Jed thought deeply as he glared at Yuki. He couldn't tell him that the earring was his because that would mean that he had to explain some things to Yuki and he wasn't ready to do that yet. He breathed deeply as he looked straight to Yuki.

"I stole it."

"You _what_?" Jed could see that Yuki was ready to kill anyone at that moment and he prepared himself for defense. But to Jed's amazement, Yuki cooled down a bit and asked again, "Who was the owner?"

He couldn't think of any alternative anymore, so he answered in a monotonous voice and expressionless brown eyes, "I killed him."

Jed could see that Yuki was full of emotions. He could see anger, pain, frustration, and confusion. He couldn't even tell which was which. He saw Yuki walk away from him but before he got to the door he said, "Get out. I want you and all of your things out of this place as soon as I get back. Don't ever let me see your face again or I swear, I _will_ kill you." Then he got out of the apartment and closed the door with a loud bang.

Jed fell to the floor, his knees supporting his weight. He ducked his head and, this time, he let the tears flow freely from his eyes.

* * *

**Author's Notes:**

Pretty fast, huh? Finished this chapter in four hours... Wow! I guess I was really in a hurry. It's just that I need to get this finished because I still have to go away to enroll for college and I'm already graduating in six days! Man, I'm done with physics! Wohoo!

See, the earring really has a big role here... hehehe... Now Yuki thought that Jed killed Shuichi... bwahahaha!

I'm not really contented with this chapter but like what I said, I'm in a hurry to get this done. The next chapter would be up pretty soon too. By the way, I don't think this fic would reach sixteen chapters, I think I'm sticking to the original plan which was fifteen chapters.

And oh yeah, here's another song... I just want you to know that whatever song I post here has absolutely NOTHING to do with the chapters...

_Save your eyes  
From your tears  
When everything's unclear  
You'll be safe here_

From the sheer weight  
Of your doubts and fears  
Wounded heart

When the light disappears  
And when this world's insincere  
You'll be safe here

When nobody hears you scream  
I'll scream with you  
You'll be safe here

In my arms  
Through the long cold night  
Sleep tight  
You'll be safe here

When no one understands  
I'll believe  
You'll be safe,  
You'll be safe  
You'll be safe here  
Put your heart in my hands  
You'll be safe here

* * *


	13. suicide

* * *

**_CHAPTER THIRTEEN  
Suicide_**

* * *

He closed the door softly as he entered his apartment. It seemed so quiet, like nobody even lived there. He knew that it had always been like this, still and quiet. But now, it was different. It was lonely.

He went to _his _room. Everything was back to its original place where he left it almost three months ago before _he_ ever lived in his apartment. The bed was fixed, there were no clothes in the closet, there were no things in the bedside drawers, and the keyboard was neatly covered. Yes, everything was just as he left it a few months ago.

He went to his own room and sat at the side of his bed. He looked at the top drawer of his bedside table and put his hand on the handle. Slowly, he pulled it out and retrieved a blue box from the far corner. He looked at it intently and opened it quietly, like it was a very delicate bomb about to explode.

He touched the piece of jewelry surrounded by the cushions. He lifted it up and studied it more carefully. He smiled as the thought of how important that earring was to him.

He read the inscriptions: "You'll never be alone when you get home -- Shuichi"

He put it back and closed the box. He placed it inside the drawer and slowly closed it. He closed his eyes to prevent himself from crying.

'Why am I feeling like this? This was what I wanted, wasn't it? For him to leave and not let me see his face again.'

He was thinking of Jed again. How much the night he spent with Jed meant to him and how much _he_ meant to him. He wanted to get out of the apartment and find him. He wanted to tell him that everything would be alright and they would be happy.

But that's just the thing. Everything will _never_ be alright.

The man he grew to love _killed_ the person that he once loved. How could he ever forgive a ruthless person like that? How could he ever forgive _himself _for loving a person like that?

His train of thoughts was suddenly disturbed by the constant knocking on his apartment door.

"Damn it. Who could that be now!" He hissed as he prepared himself to kill anybody who comes by his door. But as soon as he opened it, a smiling face greeted him.

"Ren..."

"Good evening, Yuki-san." Ren said softly as Yuki guided her inside the apartment.

* * *

Ren sipped her tea as she sat on the other side of the sofa, opposite to Yuki. She looked at him, studied his every movement. He was in his usual pair of slacks and a light blue polo shirt. His hair was in total disarray and dark circles were formed underneath his eyes.

She sighed as she put down her cup of tea on the center table. She faced Yuki and looked directly into his eyes. "I won't waste any of your time anymore. I'll go straight to the point. Why did you kick him out?"

Yuki glared at her and she had to admit, that sent goosebumps all over her body. "It's none of your business."

"It _is_ my business. You don't know him like I do, Yuki-san. It's a simple question. Why not just answer it?" She fired back.

"He killed him." Yuki said softly as he faced away from her.

"I don't know if you are aware of Jedrick's line of work but he had killed a _lot_ of people. Maybe you could just--"

"He killed _him_. My fiancé. He killed Shindou Shuichi."

Ren knew Jed killed a lot of people but she was certain he never got to kill someone with such name. She knew every single death that was caused by the brotherhood and she _is_ perfectly sure that the name Shindou Shuichi was not on the list.

"And you know this, how?" She asked.

"His earring. It's exactly the same as his. The color, the shape and even the inscriptions. My name was even there." He said as he looked directly at her.

'Jed's earring...' But that's impossible. That earring was there before she met him. That earring was already there even before _Kat_ met him. 'I'm pretty sure that _that_ jewelry was all his. Besides, he never did stole anything from anybody. Unless...'

"This Shindou Shuichi, when did he die?" She asked again at the author.

"Seven years ago." The blonde replied in a monotonous voice.

'Oh my god... That was exactly the time that Kat met Jed.' Ren thought but still continued her rain of questions. "And _where_ did he die?"

"In Europe, London to be exact." He answered. "They were having their first international tour and Europe was the first one on the list. The last time I talked to him was on the phone."

'London... Yes, that was exactly where Kat and Uncle Niel were when someone attempted to kill them but were luckily saved by Jed.' Ren stilled as the realization suddenly hit her. 'Could it be that Jed _is_ Shindou Shuichi, Yuki's ex lover? Was that why the attraction that Jed felt for this man was so strong?'

"Do... uhm... do you have a picture of Shindou-san?" Ren asked quietly.

Ren saw him put his hand inside his pocket and retrieved a metallic lighter. He put it on the table and Ren slowly bent down to get it. Gradually, she turned the lighter around to see the picture. She covered her mouth with her other hand as soon as she saw the picture.

It was a very simple sticker picture. The sides were already worn out and the color was starting to fade, but nevertheless, the picture was still clear. A pink-haired teenager smiled brightly at the camera while Yuki smirked. Ren focused her eyes at the teenager. She remembered how Jed looked like before.

'He had pink dye on his hair before we met. The bone structures are exactly the same as Jed's. Only, this one was much younger and his eyes twinkled. His eyes...' He stopped herself from crying as soon as she got a clear view of the teenager's eyes. 'Violet...'

She suddenly stood up and gave the lighter back to Yuki. She grabbed her purse from the sofa, then grabbed Yuki from the sofa.

"What? Asking me so many questions about my love life wasn't enough that you still have to drag me somewhere?" Yuki almost shouted at the woman's sudden actions.

"We have to find him."

"Find who?"

"Jed."

They were nearing the door when suddenly, Yuki stopped. Ren turned around and glared at him. "We have to find him, _now_!"

"I don't have any intentions of doing so." He said as he looked away from Ren.

'Great. Just fuckin' great.' Ren thought. 'I can't tell him that Jed is Shindou-san. He has to find that out for himself. What am I going to do now?'

Both suddenly looked up to the door when they heard the loud knocking on it. Ren opened the door and was soon met up with a panting Kat.

"We have to find him." She said in between breaths.

"Who?" Ren asked.

"Jed. He called me five minutes ago, saying that he loved me and how much he failed to do his responsibilities as my brother. He thanked me for understanding him and wished for me to have a good life."

"What so bad about that?" Yuki asked, a bit annoyed by the fact that more and more people were finding themselves on his doorstep.

"He said 'goodbye'." Kat said then talked rather rapidly. "He never says goodbye. He says 'whatever' or 'hmph' or 'yeah' or even just hung up, but he _never_ said goodbye."

"Oh my god..."

Yuki looked at both women, wishing that at least one of them fill him up with the needed information.

Ren turned around and faced him as she looked sadly at his eyes. Yuki could feel that something was terribly wrong by the looks of it. Then she said slowly, "He's going to kill himself."

* * *

"What had gotten into that head of his?" Yuki said to himself as he drove through the quiet streets of Tokyo in search of Jed. "Stupid brat. Did he really think that what he'll do would make any difference?"

When he heard Ren said that Jed was going to kill himself, he was shocked -- petrified, even. Of course, the anger was still there, but he never intended for him to do something as stupid as that.

'Where the hell are you?'

It had been an hour since Kat appeared in Yuki's apartment and told them what Jed would do. It had also been then that Kat had been trying to reach Jed. Ren volunteered to hack into the traffic control of the city to have an idea as to where Jed could head to. Ren insisted that Yuki should look for him on the streets, personally. So that was what he did. Yuki had been driving nonstop, but there were still no signs of Jed anywhere. He had been in different parks, coffee shops, and even rave bars, but still, no Jed.

He was about to give up out of frustration when he remembered something...

**_flashback_**

Jed looked at him, confusion clearly seen on his features. "Whenever it rains, I can always find you before the window. When you're in the bathroom, it takes you hours to finish." Yuki quickly added, "Not that I'm complaining or anything. You wake up really early and I never ran out of hot water, so it's ok." Then he continued, "And now this. The beach. Why do you like it so much?"

Jed cocked his head back and faced the sky. "The rain are the angel's crying. Whenever I take a bath, I soak myself with water because it somehow let me fell that I am cleansed inside, or something. The beach... I don't know. I just loved looking at it."

"Not really the answers I was looking for." Yuki said.

**_end of flashback_**

Yuki suddenly turned the stirring wheel to the right, effecting a loud screeching of tires and floored the accelerator. 'The Goddamned beach... Why didn't I think of that earlier?'

* * *

He closed his eyes as he put both his hands into his pockets.

He was on a rocky cliff just on the far side of the beach. It was so peaceful. He could hear the ocean waves crash onto the rocks below him. He could feel the wind blow his hair in all places. He could feel the scent of water travel into his nostrils to his lungs.

"Don't come any nearer." Jed said quietly as he turned around to see Yuki. He looked at him straight-faced and merely waited for him to talk.

"How did you know it was me?" Yuki asked.

Jed shrugged his shoulders and turned around to face the water. He closed his eyes again and inhaled the ocean breeze deeply.

"Look, if you're doing this because of what happened between us, it's--"

Jed laughed before Yuki even finished his sentence. He turned his head and looked straight into those amber eyes and with a malicious smirk, he said, "Don't flatter yourself. I'm not doing this because of us." He resumed to his earlier position. "There was _never_ an 'us'."

It was true. There was never anything between the two of them. Yes, they did sleep together, but that was only the usual one-night stand. Jed had tried to convince himself that it couldn't be just like that. He tried to convince himself that it was special and what they felt for each other was not just his imagination.

But you see, he _tried_,but he never got himself to believe such things.

He couldn't understand why such a person could have an impact on him. He didn't even know why he let himself do the things he _swore_ he would never do.

He simply took the risk, and now he's facing the consequences.

He wouldn't do this because Yuki left him. He didn't give a damn if Yuki dumped him, he would get hurt, but he's sure that he would definitely move on. It was because _why_ Yuki left him that day.

'The earring.'

Again, his past is destroying his every being. First, the flashbacks that would always result to severe migraines and nose bleedings. Then, when he remembered something, it just _had_ to be the accident which made him forget all about himself. Now, this, the earring. He finally got to the point that he felt something for someone but his past had to meddle with it too. He hated all of these. He was so tired of it. He just wanted to end all of it.

'Besides, it'll happen sooner or later anyway...'

"Had you ever been in an accident?" He asked softly as he turned around to face Yuki. He was on the edge of the cliff and Yuki was about four meters away from him.

"What? I mean, yes, but--"

Jed cut him off. "I had been in one, you know. And you know what? I was supposed to die that night..."

* * *

Now he was really frightened. He walked towards Jed but, all of a sudden, he stopped.

"Yuki..."

'That voice...' He looked straight to Jed, still maintaining his distance from him. "Yes?"

"Can I ask you something?" He said softly, avoiding gazes with Yuki.

"Yes."

Jed rotated so that his back would face Yuki. He breathed deeply and said in a soft tone, "You slept with me because I looked like _him_, didn't you?"

He was stunned to hear that question. The thought had crossed his mind, but he never thought that Jed would ask him that.

Well, actually, he didn't know the answer. Maybe yes, maybe not. Maybe he slept with him because he looked so much like Shuichi, but maybe he didn't. He was sure of one thing, though. The way he felt for Jed, was for him alone, and _not _because of his resemblance to Shuichi.

He was about to answer when suddenly Jed hung his head low and whispered, "It's alright, I understand."

All it took was one step which made Yuki scream so much. It was the only time that he shouted so loud in his entire life.

He frantically ran to the edge of the cliff and looked down. He screamed again, "Jed!"

And again, "Jed!"

And again, "JED!"

He quickly stood up and carefully ran to the bottom of the cliff. The rocks scratched and scraped his body as he went. Blood was starting to pour out of the fresh wounds before he even got to the bottom. He took off his shirt and dove through the water.

He looked at his sides to see if Jed was there. He swam against the waves to see a clearer view of the water underneath.

Then, something caught his eye.

A figure was motionless despite the harsh rapids of the water. Quickly, Yuki swam to the figure and cocked its head back. As soon as he saw Jed's face, he rapidly swam to the surface.

* * *

He pulled the body to the shore. He sat on the sand while resting Jed's head on his arms. He slapped his cheek a few times to wake him up but Jed didn't even flinch. He was as cold as ice.

"Jed! Jed! Damn it, wake the fuck up!" He shouted at the immobile form in his arms. Tears were already starting to well up in his eyes. "I didn't even have the chance to answer your question!"

He supported Jed's head with his hand when he felt something. Tears streamed down his face as soon as he saw the liquid which scattered all over his palm. Blood.

He hugged him tightly as he hid his face in the crook of his neck, tears still flowing from his eyes. "Baka..."

While Yuki held him so close, something happened.

Jed's nose started to bled.

* * *

**Author's notes:**

Bwahahaha! He's dead!

First off, thanks a million to all the reviewers! Especially to the ones who shared my dislike to Physics. hehehe...

And oh yeah, I just want to clear some things first. About Jed's contacts (a reviewer questioned about it), he wears them _every_ time. I know it's impossible to do such a thing, but just imagine him putting new ones as days passed. I didn't put it there because, well, I really couldn't figure out where to insert such a scene. I'm really sorry for the confusion. The contacts have a really big importance in the story, especially in the end.

I almost forgot! A reviewer once asked me if I liked Good Charlotte. So, yes, a bit I guess... I just really like emo and screamo songs... ska, even.

Please continue to read the story because it is nearing its end.

_Is it worth it can you even hear me  
Standing with your spotlight on me  
Not enough to feed the hungry  
I'm tired and I felt it for awhile now  
In this sea of lonely  
The taste of ink is getting old  
It's four o' clock in the fking morning  
Each day gets more and more like the last day  
Still I can see it coming  
While I'm standing in the river drowning  
This could be my chance to break out  
This could be my chance to say goodbye  
At last it's finally over  
Couldn't take this town much longer  
Being half dead wasn't what I planned to be  
Now I'm ready to be free_

So here I am it's in my hands  
And I'll savor every moment of this  
So here I am alive at last  
And I'll savor every moment of this


	14. memory

* * *

**_CHAPTER FOURTEEN  
Memory_**

* * *

She brushed the bangs from his forehead to get a much clearer view of his handsome face. She smiled as she stroked his smooth and pale skin.

She smiled sweetly at him and said in a soft tone, "Please wake up... All you have to do is to open those eyes, and everything would be alright"

She then rested her forehead on the bed and started crying. "Please... wake up... I beg of you..."

_**flashback**_

Kat and Ren sat in front of the doctor's table while Red simply stood near the door of the office. The doctor slowly sat down and looked intently at the three of them . He was old, but it was clear that he was not near of dying and was perfectly healthy. The doctor just called them in a few minutes ago to discuss Jed's current condition.

He heaved a sigh and said, "Which do you want first? The good news or the bad news?"

They all looked at each other. "The good news." Kat said, eager to hear what the doctor had to say.

"Alright, then. You do know that I've been working for the brotherhood for numerous years now, monitoring the health of every member, including Jed. For the past seven years, I have been looking after him because he is in a state of amnesia due to your father's near-death experience." He looked at Kat then he continued, "I am glad to say that the blood clot in his brain that made all these possible had just gone, due to the head concussion that he received from falling onto the rocks."

"That means..." Ren started.

"Yes. As soon as he wakes up, I assume that he'll remember everything."

"What's the bad news?" Kat asked hesitantly. She was happy that Jed would remember everything because that would mean no more nightmares and no more long sleepless nights.

"You are all aware of the bullet wound on his chest, am I correct?"

"Yes." Kat said.

"Doctor, I don't think they should..." Red interrupted.

"Oh, but I guess they should, Jared. I know that we both promised him, but it's time that they knew."

"What do you mean?" Ren glared at her brother. "What the hell are you talking about."

"Jed is sick, terribly. The bullet which penetrated his heart seven years ago had caused malfunctions to the oxygenation in his body. He has a very weak heart, and it's getting weaker everyday."

"That's impossible. You have seen how healthy he is. He works out everyday and eats a hell lot of food. How could that happen?" Kat asked as she laughed maliciously at the doctor's statement.

"_Nothing_ is impossible, Katarina, you should know that." Red provided her with the answers. "He _does_ live a healthy life, but have you noticed that on some occasions after every mission, he would just disappear for a few minutes? Have you also seen the several medicine bottles in his bag and also a few packs of it in his pocket?"

Kat just stared at him quietly and let him go on so he did, "He disappeared because he didn't want you to see him rub his chest and struggle to catch his breath, because he knew that if you'd see that, you'll insist on him seeing a doctor. And those bottles? I know you have seen them, but because it was unlabeled, you thought that it were only painkillers because of his constant migraines, but actually, only _one_ of those are painkillers, the others are all for his heart."

"And you knew about this?" Ren said as she looked at her brother.

"Now don't you get roughed up with me. I only did it out of Jed's request. There is no way that I am going to break his trust."

"Since when did you know?" Kat said sadly as she bowed her head, hiding her eyes from the others.

Red inhaled deeply before answering the question. "I've noticed it a few years back but it was only two years ago that it started to get worse. That was why he wanted both of you to quit after the assassination of that American politician, and actually _live_ your lives, because at that time, he had only five more months to live."

"Oh my God..." Ren said as she clamped her hand on her mouth.

Kat quickly blinked her eyes to stop the tears from falling and faced the doctor. "Will he be alright?"

"Frankly, no." The doctor said with a finality in his voice. "Because of what he did, the possibility of him living after all of these had become pretty slim. The normal heart rate of a person should be at least 60. A malfunction of the heart could be indicated by a heart rate of 30 and as of now, his heart rate is already at 52 and it is decreasing as we speak."

"How long?" Kat asked again.

"We can't tell. It might be months, weeks or even just in days." The doctor replied.

"There has got to be something that we could do..." Ren said as she cried silently.

"Yes, there is." They all looked up to hear what the doctor had to say. "A heart transplant."

Out of frustration, Kat slammed her fist on the table and shouted at the doctor. "Then give him the fuckin' transplant! Money is not a big deal in this situation. I want you to get my brother out of that hospital bed as soon as possible! Do I make myself clear!"

"Crystal." The doctor said after fixing his glasses. He had witnessed this scene of outrage from Katarina when he told her that her father's death was certain. He knew better than to play around with comforting words to the woman. "But I am telling you now that it won't be that easy. It is _very_ hard to find a suitable heart for the transplant. The body might reject the new organ and if that happens, his death would be for sure."

"Do you think I fuckin' care? You've just made it clear that_ that_ is the only option for his survival right now. So I am_ not_ going to sit around and wait for a stupid miracle!" She slowly bowed her head and started to find herself on the floor. She bowed even lower and said, "Please... Save him... All of these weren't even supposed to happen to him..."

Red rushed to her side and held her in his arms, "Shhh... Everything would be alright... It's gonna be fine, _he's_ going to be just fine."

**_end of flashaback_**

"Please, Jed... Just open your eyes..." Kat said as she cried silently beside her sleeping brother. "Please..."

* * *

"I want those damn tickets the day after tomorrow!" Yuki shouted at the receiver of the telephone. He had talked for hours to different persons at different places and he had gotten so sick of it. He wanted to have his airline tickets to America as soon as possible.

"Sir, I understand your situation, but you are not the only one with airline problems here. There is nothing I can do but put your name in the waiting list." The clerk calmly said.

"Fine!" Yuki hung up and threw the wireless phone on the sofa and plopped down on the sofa. 'Damn it. I have to get out of here...'

He knew that there was only one person that could help him with such a problem, but he tried to deny it and tried getting his airline ticket by himself. Wrong idea.

He got the phone beside him and dialed a very familiar number. He waited for someone to pick it up and fortunately, someone did.

"Moshi Moshi." Seguchi Tohma cheerfully said on the other line.

"It's me." Yuki said. "I need to get out of Japan as soon as possible."

"Why the sudden act? Your flight wasn't due until the end of the month, isn't it? Why not just wait for it?"

"You ask to many questions. I want to be out of here the day after tomorrow." Then Yuki said in a lower voice, "Please."

He heard a sigh on the other end. "Alright then. But I want you to know that Bad Luck's launching party would be that very night. Have you received the invitation?"

Yuki looked at the unopened envelope on the center table. "Yes."

"I'll call you back when I have confirmed your reservation." Before he hung up he added, "But Eiri, please, think about this."

Yuki hung up and placed the phone beside him again. He slouched on the sofa and gave out an exasperated sigh.

He remembered what happened just a week ago. 'He almost died...'

He could still remember how Jed's cold body felt against his. He wasn't breathing and blood was seeping out of his head. He was as afraid as hell to see him like that, but still, what happened didn't change anything.

He loved him, maybe he _still_ loved him but he can't let himself do that. 'He still killed Shuichi... Nothing can ever change that.'

So he let go of him. He brought him to the hospital and left him there, then he walked away. Yes, just like that, he walked away. He wanted to forget about him and it would be better if he could get away from everything that would remind him of Jed.

Abruptly, there was a loud knocking on the door. He cautiously stood up and answered it. "What?" After taking a good look at his visitor, he sighed. "Oh, it's you again. What do you want now?"

"I want to talk to you." Ren said as she got inside the apartment without even waiting for Yuki to give her permission to do so.

She sat down on the sofa and with a quiet voice, she started. "I know that you were the one who brought him to the hospital. I also know that you are leaving the country very soon. I also know that you care for him."

Yuki glared at her and said casually as he sat down, "You assume to much."

"He is dreadfully sick, Yuki-san, and he's getting more and more unstable every hour."

"How does that concern me?" He asked as he lit a cigarette with his lighter.

"I think you can help him recover." She said, the definiteness very clear in her voice.

"Sick people need doctors, _not_ writers." He replied as he took a long drag of nicotine.

* * *

She sighed deeply to relieve herself of the overwhelming feeling that was consuming her. She knew how they felt for each other but Yuki was clearly the person who would never admit his feelings to anybody. She also knew that both men should get together to start wherever it was that they left off. So she started with her approach. "You know, when he started to work for you, I noticed something."

What she said definitely got Yuki's attention. He was now fixedly looking at her, awaiting for her to continue, so she did. "On his birthday, he kept on looking at you. Stealing sideway glances when I was not looking."

"So what? That does not mean anything. He's my bodyguard, he was supposed to keep an eye on me." Yuki clearly stated.

"Yes, I know that, but... there was something in his eyes. I became aware of it when I caught him doing so. There was a glint in his eyes." She stopped and slowly continued, "Like... he was... Like he was longing for you."

"Look, I don't give a damn if he has this little crush on me. A lot of people do."

"But you see, I didn't just notice it in him." She said with a knowing look.

"What do you mean?" Yuki asked intrigued.

"That little kiss I gave him when you wanted to leave the party, it was some kind of an experiment. An experiment expecting a reaction and let me tell you one thing: the reaction was greatly satisfying." She looked at him and persisted. "When you saw me kiss him, you quickly turned your back on us and exited the building."

"So what? I was in a hurry. It was almost dawn and I needed to get some sleep." He said as he even glared at her even harder.

"He likes you, Yuki-san, and I can see that you care for him, no matter how much you deny it." She said.

"Why are you pushing the two of us to be together? Weren't you his lover or something?" He asked confusedly.

"Yes, I _was_ his lover but that doesn't mean that I don't want his happiness."

'God, she won't shut up! Now I know how Shuichi felt when Tohma kept on interfering in our relationship.' Yuki thought as he looked at Ren.

"Is it because of Shindou-san?" Ren asked uncertainly.

She definitely hit a nerve by saying that name. She saw Yuki stood up and pointed the door of the apartment. "I want you to get out. _Now_."

Ren sighed and reluctantly stood up from where she was seated. She strolled towards the door and opened it. Without turning her back, she said, "Please be there for him... For the last time." After saying that, she exited the apartment.

* * *

'What was _that _supposed to mean?' Yuki thought while he locked the door. 'Weird girl.' He started to retreat from the door when he heard her speak again from the outside.

"Yuki-san... I just wanted to assure you that Jed did not kill him." Then she spoke in a much softer voice. "The earring... He never took it out... He never even looked at it... But, it was _all_ his..."

Yuki stopped in his tracks and turned his back to face the door. He couldn't move at that time. He didn't know if he should believe what Ren just said or what Jed said to him. But why would Jed lie to him? After a few moments, he finally got the courage to move. He placed his hand over the doorknob and turned it slowly. He popped his head from the door and looked to his right then to his left. There was no sign of Ren anywhere.

He looked down and closed the door slightly. He leaned on it and thought to himself, "I_ really_ have to get out of this place."

* * *

He slowly opened his eyes as he absorbed all the details of the place he was currently in. He blinked a few times to adjust his eyes to the rays of the sun. He was weak. He could feel it. Although he wanted to get out of this place and revive everything that he'd left behind, his body wouldn't move. He was just _so_ weak.

He smiled as looked at the ceiling above him. He remembered _everything_. His family, his friends, his career, his talents, his first love, his first kiss... He remembered them all. He remembered _who_ he was. More importantly, he remembered _him_...

'Yuki...'

But even though he remembered who he _was_, he also remembered who he _is_... He had killed so many people throughout the past seven years. He had done so many things for those years and nothing can ever change that. How could he possibly face Yuki, when everything he had done was against everything that he was when they met each other?

He looked at the right side of bed. He smiled at the sleeping figure as he brushed his fingers on her hair. She instantly flinched and woke up. She looked at him and smiled brightly as tears started to well up on her eyes.

"Hey..." He said.

"Oh my God, Jed! You're awake! Thank God, you're awake." She dove into him and gave him a tight hug.

"Kat..." He said as he returned the hug.

"Yes?" She pulled back as she looked into those ever familiar violet orbs.

He smiled sweetly at her and said quietly, "It's Shuichi..."

* * *

**Author's Notes:**

I really have to take everything that I said in the last chapter. This is _ definitely_ going to reach at least 16 chapters.

Thank you to everyone who reviewed! I'm sorry about this chapter... I know it's not really good... The only part that I liked here was when Jed said "It's Shuichi...". Don't worry, I'll do everything to improve the next ones.

I really like deaths... I don't know why... It's more dramatic that way, don't you think? I've left a few clues in the past chapters if you just read into them more carefully. There's always something about Jed not having enough time and things like that. I just didn't show it so that it would come out to be such a shock.

At least he's alive _and_ he remembers... But yeah, he's dying. Let's just see if he'll live.

peace out!

_Today's the day you're leaving and tomorrow you'll be gone.  
You're in my heart and on my mind I will bring you along.  
Everything sucks when you're gone_

_It's not okay... I made dinner here for two.  
It's not okay... I've got candles lit for you.  
It's not okay... I've got your favorite records out.  
And it's not okay... You should of let it be..._

* * *


	15. taxi

* * *

**_CHAPTER FIFTEEN  
Taxi_**

* * *

"Oh... my God!"

"Pretty shocking story, huh?"

Shuichi had just finished telling his story to the three people inside his hospital room. The two women stared at each other, disbelief clearly seen in their eyes, while the other person in the room merely bowed his head while he listened.

"So, let me get this straight." Kat started. "Your real name is Shindou Shuichi, a famous J-pop star, and the lead vocalist of a band named Bad Luck. Seven years ago, you went to Europe to have your second international tour, the United States being your first. You jumped from one country to another, until you landed in London, where your last concert would be held." She inhaled deeply to continue. "But as you were walking down the street, you saw a hitman who was about to shoot my father, so you came in to save him, risking your life in the process. The result: being in a coma for six months, having amnesia, and having a very weak heart."

"Yep. That pretty much covered everything." Shuichi said to his "sister" as she smiled widely at her.

"But there's one more." He said as he lowered his voice and bowed down.

"Let me guess." Ren said. "Yuki-san?"

Shuichi quickly raised his head and looked confusedly at her. "H--Ho-- How did you know?"

"I went to his apartment when you were missing and mentioned your earring." Shuichi brought his hand up to his earring. "That was when I suspected that you were Shindou Shuichi."

Then she came up to him and hit him on the head.

"Ow! What was that for?" He said as he massaged the back of his head. "Sick person here, remember?"

"How could you be so stupid? Couldn't you think of a much better lie?" Ren almost shouted.

"Why? What happened?" Red finally spoke.

"When Yuki-san found the earring, he asked him where he found it." She said as she pointed at the pale man on the bed. "And Jed, I mean _Shuichi_, lied about it. He told him that he _killed_ the owner of the earring thus implying that he murdered Shindou Shuichi."

"Wait a sec... How does Yuki-san relate to Jed, anyway?" Kat asked confusedly.

"He was my fiancé..." Shuichi said quietly.

"Oh... Wait! So what you're telling me is that...? I mean, you're...?" Kat couldn't even finish her sentences.

"Gay. Bisexual, maybe... I'm not really sure... I did fall for Ren..." Shuichi told her. "But what happened with Yuki and I that night--"

"Was not good..." Red quietly said.

"Yeah, I know..." Shuichi said in response. "And I need to do something to change that."

"Hold on." Ren analyzed the situation. "Something's odd. You were the former vocalist of the band Bad Luck, whom Kat is currently working for. Yuki was your fiancé, and you also ended up being his bodyguard. All of this can't be just a coincidence."

"I'm afraid not." Red looked up to her. "It was all planned out."

"God, Jared! I cannot believe you! First, Jed's heart condition and now this. What the hell is your problem?" Ren shouted at her brother.

Red looked at them and then to Shuichi. "I am very sorry, to all of you. I only did what was best. If I told you what the real deal was, you might not be able to take the pressure of it all. Just look what happened with those flashbacks, and to think that it were only _one_ incident in his life. Imagine what could happen if people tell him things about himself that he didn't remember... I am sorry, Jed..."

Shuichi slightly shook his head and smiled at him. "No need to. I understand. If it weren't for you, I would never remember. You should say, 'you're welcome', instead of that." He shifted his gaze to the wall in front of him. "Tell me the truth. Was Seguchi Tohma involved?"

"Yes." Jared said silently.

"Should have known." Shuichi smiled. "That guy is a big pain in the ass, but definitely, one of the smartest people I ever knew. Did he plan all this?" He asked Red.

Red nodded. "At first, I didn't want to give into his offer because I knew that you were through after that assignment I gave you. What changed my mind was when he told me who you really was and he had all the proof to back it all up. I didn't even know how he heard of you and Ren."

"He always had his ways with things." Shuichi smiled weakly at him.

Shuichi looked at Kat who just bowed her head, lost in her own world. "Hey..." He softly said to her. He knew that this moment both brought happiness and sadness to her. She always had wanted her brother to find out everything about himself, to relieve himself of any doubts. On the other hand, the fear of losing him as soon as he learned about his past had always haunted her.

He put his hand on her cheek as he brought her face up to look at him. "You're still my little sister. Though I also have another one whose name is Maiko, but I am pretty sure you'll get along with her. You both have the same hobby -- pestering me." He said with a very weak but heartfelt smile.

She looked at him with sad eyes. "Could I still call you Jed?"

"Of course, you could! Besides, I lived with that name for seven years." He faced the other two. "And to avoid any confusion, you could also call me that. Seeing that you're all used to that name. But of course, you could also call me Shuichi if you like, or just Shu for that matter. I don't really care what people call me. So you could pretty much call me whatever name it is that you are more comfortable with."

"Wow..." Red said.

"Yeah, wow... He didn't even stop for air." Ren followed.

"What?" Shuichi asked confusedly at the siblings.

"It's just that this is the _real_ Shuichi. I mean, like, when you were Jed, you hardly even speak, but now, you're like a blabbering idiot!" Ren explained. "Especially considering the fact that you're very weak right now."

Shuichi merely smiled at her comment and said in a soft tone. "You should get used to it."

"Look, we really ought to get going and Jed, here, should get some rest." Jared said to both ladies.

"Alright then... But I'll be back. So, just get some sleep so that you'll be energized before I come. Ok?" Kat told him as she gave him a tight hug. "Yes, ma'am..." He replied.

As soon as Jared and Kat got out of the room, Karen made her way to Shuichi's bed and sat on it. "Uhm... Shuichi..."

"I've already told you, if you feel awkward in calling me that, then you sho--"

"I'll get used to it." She cut him off and said hesitantly. "There's something I have to say."

Shuichi looked at her perplexedly so she continued, "It's about Yuki-san."

"It's all settled. By tonight, you'll be leaving Japan." Seguchi Tohma announced to Yuki.

It was 9:00 in the morning and they were in the same coffee shop where Tohma persuaded Yuki to have a bodyguard.

"I assume you had packed?" Tohma asked his brother-in-law.

"Hn." Yuki said as he sipped his cup of coffee.

"What about Jed?" Tohma asked as he looked fixedly at the author.

"What about him?" Yuki asked with expressionless eyes.

Tohma sighed at Yuki's reply and settled on his seat. 'This is going to be a _very_ long day.' He thought as he stared at him.

'He's leaving tonight...' He replayed these words over and over again in his head. Ren had just told him a few minutes ago that Yuki was going to leave Japan tonight.

'But I thought he's leaving at the end of the month...' Then the realization struck him. "He's leaving because of me..." He said to himself.

That was right. Yuki was leaving because of him. Yuki _ always_ leaves because of him, no matter who Yuki though he was. 'But that couldn't happen... I can't let it happen again..."

Of course, he can't. He still needed to tell Yuki the truth. He needed to tell Yuki that everything was just a misunderstanding. He wanted to tell Yuki that he loved him, and always will. There was so many things that he wanted to explain to the author but...

'But how?'

Exactly. Although he had the will to do all of these things, he was very weak and he can't even move without help from other people. He looked at all the tubes inserted to his body. He touched the one attached to his nose and to his arm. He looked at the heart monitor on his left and sighed after doing so. His heart rate was already dropping and it was now at 48.

He knew better than to hope for the best. There was just no way for a heart replacement to take place. A lot of people also needed a heart transplant, so why spare him with death when it was supposed to claim him seven years ago. He knew that he would die very soon; it would be just a matter of days. For a year, he had been expecting this to happen. To lie on a hospital bed and wait for his time to come. But he needed to live... To tell Yuki everything. Just a few more hours was all he needed

"Shu-chan!"

A big sweatdrop was now visible on Shuichi's head. He could recognize that voice anywhere. He had not any sleep yet but maybe he could just spare this little time. After all, these were his friends.

They were all smiling at him. Hiro and Fujisaki just stood there, K had his magnum put away, even Sakano was properly composed this time. Ryuichi, however, was jumping up and down inside the room.

Shuichi smiled at them and said in a weak voice, "C'mon guys. You thought I was dead for _seven_ years and the only reaction you could have is that?"

They were still all hesitant to move after Shuichi said that, but he continued, "It's fine. I can handle it."

In a mere instant, everyone of them was back to normal. Sakano went into his hysterical state while crying buckets. K got his magnum out and pointed it at Shuichi. "You do realize that you almost killed me the last time you were at the studio..." Shuichi had an apologetic look on his face and said, "I said I was sorry..."

"Shu-chan! Kumagorou and Ryu-chan is so happy to see you again! Seven years was such a long time, na no da...!" Ryuichi said as he pouted.

Fujisaki came up to him and shouted, "Do you know how much we were worried? We didn't even know how to move on without you!"

Hiro sat on the side of the bed and hugged Shuichi tightly. "Seven years..."

Shuichi returned the hug weakly, "I'm sorry..."

"Don't be... At least you're good." He pulled back. "Do you want me to call your family?"

Shuichi looked down. He knew that this matter would come up. "No..." He said quietly.

"Why not?" K asked. Sakano suddenly stopped to listen.

"They would just get hurt." He looked at them with a sad smile on his face. "I think you know what's my condition right now. There's no use in telling them that I am alive if sooner or later, I would eventually disappear again. You know how emotional my family gets. It would break them... It's better this way..."

"Stop this nonsense." Ryuichi glared at Shuichi. Shuichi just looked at him, clearly stating that he was not shocked to see this change in the vocalist. Everyone else in the room, though, gaped at him. "You _won't _ die. You _will_ live and you _will_ spend the rest of your life in total bliss."

"Even if I do survive, the person I want to spend the rest of my life is gone..." Shuichi said as he hid his eyes with his brown bangs.

"What do you mean?" Hiro asked. "Is Yuki-san--"

"Tonight." Shuichi cut him off. "He'll be leaving tonight. And I won't even have the chance of telling him that I remember everything."

"Not exactly..." Everyone looked up at Ryuichi. Ryuichi returned to his childish persona and said in a cheerful voice, "I have an idea, na no da!"

He took a final look at the place that he called home. He memorized every detail of it and he remembered all the memories that took place there. Maybe he would come back or maybe he wouldn't. Only time could tell.

"To the international airport." Yuki said to the cab driver as soon as he got in the taxi.

He looked at his watch: 7:45. Everything was settled. He would be on the 8:50 p.m. flight to Korea then to New York. He would leave Japan and everyone in it. Of course, he knew that Tohma would definitely keep an eye on him, but at least, the blonde keyboardist wouldn't be on his tail every minute. So, that was it. He would leave and start anew.

'Jed...' He thought as he remembered Ren's words when she was in his apartment yesterday. 'What was that all about the earring, anyway? And what does she mean about Jed's health? Last time I checked, he was alright after the incident.' Yes, Yuki did check up on him. After all, he was the one who took him to the hospital in the first place. But he still couldn't stop thinking about the possibility that what he dug up wasn't really the complete information on Jed's status.

He sighed deeply and cleared his mind, 'How bad could it be?'

_"We will air the live coverage of the launching gig of Bad Luck in only 10 minutes so don't change that station."_

Yuki sat erect as soon as he heard the announcement on the radio. He looked at the cab driver and noticed that he was only in his early twenties. 'Great, a fan.'

"Uhm, excuse me sir... Aren't you Yuki Eiri?" The driver asked as he looked at Yuki on the rear view mirror.

"Yes." Yuki replied without looking back at him.

"You know what? My girlfriend's a really huge fan of yours and... uhm..." The driver faltered.

'What the hell... I'm leaving anyway' Yuki looked at the driver. "You want me to give her an autograph?" He said in a calm voice.

"You'd do that! Oh, wow! That's great! She'll be hyped as soon as I give that to her."

Yuki rummaged through his bag and found a notepad. "What's your girl's name?" He asked.

"Miyu."

Yuki wrote the usual. The fan's name and the words, "Thank you for supporting me. Yuki Eiri." Then he gave the piece of paper to the driver. "Here."

The driver received it without taking his eyes from the road. He skimmed through it and put it on his breast pocket. "Thank a lot, sir. This really means a lot to me."

"Hn." Then Yuki settled back on the back seat. "How long before we get there?"

"About 30 more minutes but because of what you did to me, we should get there in 20." The driver said cheerfully.

"Good."

_"And now, a round of applause for one of the best bands to ever conquer J-pop music, and even the international scene, I proudly present, BAD LUCK!"_

"Oh, great! The show's on." The driver gleefully said as he turned up the volume a little, just in time for Sakuma Ryuichi's voice to be released from the speakers.

Suddenly, Yuki's cellphone rang. He got it from his pocket and looked at the caller id: Tohma. 'A goodbye sermon, maybe.' He opened it and answered, "What?"

"Where are you?" Tohma asked.

"On my way."

"Eiri, before you go, I have to say something to you..."

'This _cannot_ be good.' Yuki thought as he took note of Tohma's tone. "What'd you do now?"

He heard a long pause before hearing his voice again, "It's about Shuichi..."

Yuki froze as soon as Tohma spoke those words. He couldn't even move for a few minutes.

"Eiri? Eiri! Are you still there?" Tohma asked alarmly.

"What _about_ Shuichi?" Yuki hissed on the phone. "And it better be the _truth_, Tohma."

"Seven years ago, Shuichi was assumed dead." Tohma started.

"Yes, I know. I also know who killed him." Yuki interrupted.

"Would you please let me finish?" Tohma said. "Yes, somebody _did_ kill him, but he isn't who you think it is. He was killed by a hitman who was assigned to kill the leader of a certain assassination brotherhood called the Darkcyd Council. Shuichi saved him, but in return, he gave up his own life."

"Baka..." Yuki closed his eyes to prevent tears from coming out. 'Why did he have to be the hero all the time? Unselfish idiot...' This was the first time he heard this story and considering the fact that it came from Tohma, this was definitely the closest thing he could get to the truth.

"The council leader's name was Niel Martinez and at that time, he had an 18-year-old daughter named Katarina Martinez or better known as just Kat..." Tohma sighed on the other end. "She was an _only_ child."

'Wait a minute. Assassination brotherhood. Shuichi saved the leader. 18-year-old daughter. That was seven years ago, so the daughter would be 25 now. Kat. Kat's 25, and also an assassin. Only child. Could it be...'

"Are you suggesting that the Kat we know and this other Kat is--" Yuki asked.

"One and the same. And I'm not suggesting, it's a fact." Tohma finished for him.

"Then Jed is--" Yuki asked again.

"Her father's savior." Tohma supplied.

"That's impossible!" Yuki shouted, which startled the driver. "You said it yourself! Shuichi gave up his life. Then how the hell did he--"

"He gave up his life," Tohma cut him off, "to live a new one. As Jed."

"That can't be..." Yuki said quietly as he furrowed his eyebrows. Then he snapped back at Tohma, "His eyes. They're not the same! Jed has brown while Shuichi has violet!"

"Contact lenses." Tohma explained. "Both him and Kat use it. Kat has green eyes while he had violet. They had to cover it up because they had such a unique set of eyes, and they also used it so that they could fool people into believing that they were really siblings." Yuki thought Tohma was finished because there was a long pause at the other line, but his brother-in-law continued. "Another reason for this was Shuichi did not want anybody to recognize him."

"What do you mean?" Yuki asked.

"He never welcomed his past, Eiri. He thought it was all pain and suffering, because those were the only feeling he felt whenever he had his nightmares. He was afraid of himself. He _didn't_ want to remember." Tohma said sadly.

Yuki bowed down as he digested the news. His head was so full of questions. Why was it that he only knew about this now? Why didn't Tohma tell him earlier? Why did all of these happen? How could all of these be even possible?

"I really am very sorry Eiri. You see, he was in a state of amnesia, so if I tell him about his past, he would be in a state of shock and might never regain his memory. And if I tell you about his condition, you might force him to remember. If that happens, he would definitely go away and be in denial. So I only did the next best solution..." Tohma explained to the author.

"Have him as my bodyguard." Yuki quietly stated.

"Yes. That way, both of you wouldn't suspect a thing." Tohma sadly replied. "I am sorry, Eiri."

"How long...? I mean, how long have you known about this?"

"A few months before I drag you into having him as your bodyguard." Tohma replied.

Yuki closed the phone as he hid his face with his hands. Now, everything was clear. Why Jed was so alike to Shuichi. Why their resemblance was so incredible. Why he knew that piano piece. Why he knew so much about music. Why he loved to eat pocky. Why he had the earring.

'The earring...' He suddenly remembered what Ren said last night. _"The earring... He never took it out... He never even looked at it... But, it was _all_ his..."_

'Why didn't you tell me about it, Shu? Why didn't you just tell me that those flashbacks were actually memories... Why didn't you just tell me that the earring was yours? Baka...' He wanted to go to him and tell him how stupid he was for not thinking clearly. He wanted to shout the word "baka" at him a million times. 'But he doesn't even know who I am...'

_"Good evening, everyone!" Then there was an applause._

Yuki shifted his attention to the lively voice through the radio.

_"My name is Sakuma Ryuichi from the band Bad Luck. Before we go on, I need to make a special announcement. You see, I have a friend that I haven't seen for a very long time now, and I need to give him a favor."_

Yuki settled back and listened closely.

_"He wants to do something for a very very VERY special person. So just hear him out, alright! Here he is!"_ _Then another applause._

_There was a disturbance on the microphone, then a voice emerged through the speakers. "Good evening."_

The voice was so weak, like it had no life in it. It greatly opposed Ryuichi's cheerful voice. But there was something more to it... In those two words that the person spoke, feelings emerged instantly. Sadness, longing, pain...

'Oh my god... That voice...' Yuki's eyes widened as soon as he recognized it.

"Do you know where that gig is being held?" He immediately asked the cab driver.

"Of course. The Midland Inn."

"Take me there!" Yuki said immediately.

The cab driver was a little confused by the sudden change of direction but quickly obeyed. "No problem." Then he swiftly turned on the nearest street corner.

"I'm going to _make_ him remember." Yuki said to himself.

* * *

**Author's Notes:**

So, Yuki now knew... But he still doesn't know that Shuichi already remembered everything and that he is dying... BWAHAHAHA!

Actually, I really liked this chapter... I'm really sorry if I already sound redundant with some of my words... I just couldn't help it. I'm not really the kind of person who's into highfalutin words...

THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO REVIEWED! I really am very sorry for the late update on the previous chapter. don't worry, I would definitely finish this fic... I won't leave it hanging... maybe in mid-april, it would be done. thanks for the support!

ei, why didn't anyone complain about the sudden shift of points of view as the story went on? god, i was so stupid! i just read the story a few hours ago, and i noticed that it didn't turn out the way i wanted it to be. there should have been two spaces before another person's perspective. don't worry, i've edited everything. it should be much clearer by now. sorry again!

_these days  
i seem to find  
a million reasons to sit around  
and waste my mind  
i know what's being said and that's all fine  
you tell me to get a life  
do you understand the weight of that line?  
take me for all i am_

coz i can find my own way  
big date tonight  
there's no tomorrow  
so let's leave it on the line  
coz there's time  
it's not too late  
to change direction  
turn you head son  
so let's leave it on the line


	16. sweetest goodbye

* * *

**_CHAPTER SIXTEEN  
Sweetest Goodbye_**

* * *

"Good Evening."

God, he was so weak. He couldn't even make his voice louder. How the hell was he going to get through this? He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. He had to do this, for him. Before he left, he just needed to tell him everything. Before they went their separate ways, he had to let him know.

Brown eyes travel its way through the audience and with a final breath, he began.

* * *

Yuki ran out of the taxi as soon as they reached their destination. Midland Inn wasn't that tall, maybe at least twenty stories high, but it was very spacious. Outside, different radio and television stations had their vans parked, numerous reporters swarmed near the entrance and a few photographers were taking pictures.

Yuki, realizing that there was no way that he could get in without any help from the inside, got his cellphone and dialed Tohma's number.

"Moshi Moshi."

"Tohma, get your butt out here and give me some help." Yuki said urgently, then he hung up.

Before going into the crowd, he turn to the cab driver. "Wait for me here." Then he glared at him. "Don't do anything funny. If something happens to my luggage, I swear to God that I'll bite your head off. Do you understand?"

The driver swallowed and nodded his head vigorously. Yuki's eyes did look like he meant what he said, and he did. After all, his laptop was in that luggage.

He prepared himself to squeeze through the bodies just to get inside. But before he did, he heard something.

"Please be quiet..." It was Tohma. "Silence please."

Yuki's height was a big advantage because he could clearly see Tohma in between two bodyguards at the entrance of the building. It was clear that Tohma was not patient at that moment because Yuki could see him grip the megaphone tighter as he listened closely to the noise.

"For the last time, please be quiet!" Tohma almost shouted, but the noise was still growing.

Yuki was shocked to see Tohma snatch one of his bodyguard's gun, aimed it up and fired it once.

And then there was silence.

"Do you hear that?" Tohma smiled maliciously at the crowd, still maintaining his poise and composure. "That's called silence. So please shut your holes and let my friend pass." Immediately, a pathway was formed from the street to where Tohma was standing. "Thank you." The president cheerfully said.

Yuki was really surprised, but very thankful of what his brother-in-law just did. He ran to Tohma and smiled at him. "Thanks." Tohma smiled back and cocked his head to the building. "It's at the end of the hallway to your left."

Yuki ran to the hallway that Tohma was referring to. He could now see the open doors ahead of him. He stopped to catch his breath and went in. The room was filled with people. Most of them, probably the VIP guests, were comfortably seated on the tables right in front of the stage, while some of the media were standing beside the walls of the room.

Yuki squeezed his way through and got the perfect spot. He wasn't too obvious because it was a bit dark at the place he chose, but he could clearly see Shuichi.

'Shuichi...'

This was him. He was alive. After the incident in London, he had been looking for him for two years. They were supposed to get married after he got back from their tour. He could still remember their last conversation clearly.

**_flashback_**

"Aren't you even glad? I'm coming home tomorrow!" Shuichi cheerfully said on the telephone.

"Already? That means no more quiet time then... Sad." Yuki said in a monotonous voice.

Liar. He had been waiting, no -- _craving_ for Shuichi for the past six months. He couldn't even finish his new novel and that would definitely send his editor to her usual hysterical bitch mode. But he could never deny the fact that he missed that little brat. After all, he had been used to having him always by his side for three years.

'But why should I let him know that?' Yuki thought as he smirked as he imagined at the pout which was already forming on his lover's face.

"Mean!" Then, Shuichi lightened up, and with the most caring voice he said. "I miss you too."

Yuki smiled at his statement. He could really read Yuki like an open book.

"Ne, Yuki?"

"Yeah."

"When I get home, our schedule's going to be really hectic, huh? I mean, with the wedding and all."

The wedding. Yuki touched his earring as he thought of their wedding. Everything was already planned out and in two months, they were getting married. He was as nervous as hell, but he couldn't wait for the big day. It was going to be perfect, he was a romance novelist after all. He's going to give Shuichi his dream wedding. They were going to be happy.

"Don't worry about it. Just get your ass back home."

Yuki could feel Shuichi's smile even if they were a thousand miles away. Then, Shuichi said softly, "I love you, _Eiri_."

Yuki smiled. Shuichi seldom used his real name, but he really liked the way it sounded coming from those lips. Shuichi told him that he should get used to him being called like that because 'Yuki' wasn't his real name and it meant snow -- cold. He said that Yuki was anything _but_ cold. He was full of warmth and Shuichi told him that he intended to keep it that way.

"Love you too, Shu." He said softly. He himself should also get used to that name than the usual "baka".

"Bye!" Shuichi said then he hung up.

**_end of flashback_**

As of now, this was what he could only do. Stand in one corner, as he looked at the love of his life. It already took a lot of him to stop himself from jumping onto the stage and hugging Shuichi tightly.

He looked intently to Shuichi as he bowed his head down nearer to the microphone. He looked like hell. He was only dressed in a pair of faded jeans and a loose t-shirt, fortunately, he had a black leather trench coat on. His brown hair was all messed up and it was clear that it was just recently combed. He was as pale as a ghost and the bags under his brown eyes were so clear. On second thought, he didn't look like hell, he looked like he was dead.

But something was still bugging Yuki, 'Why is he still wearing those contacts?'

* * *

"Just as Sakuma-san had--" Shuichi started, but seeing that Ryuichi was pouting at the said name, he quickly changed it. "I mean, _ Ryu-chan_ had said, I needed to do this to say something very important."

He inhaled deeply and said in a soft tone. "You see, the person that is very important to me will leave Japan in only a few minutes. He's probably boarding right now, but I really couldn't blame that person. It was all my fault. I let that person go." Shuichi smiled at the audience. "So, I want to sing a song. A song for that certain person. In this song, all my feelings would be revealed. Please listen closely to the melody and especially to the lyrics. I might not be able to express this to the person I love, but at least, I get to share this to all of you."

The first few chords were now playing in the background. "This is Sweetest Goodbye."

* * *

Yuki looked at the figure on the stage with widened eyes. "Oh, my God. Could it be that..."

He only stared at Shuichi as he brought his mouth closer to the microphone and close his eyes, pouring himself to the song. Then, he started to sing.

_Where you are seems to be  
As far as an eternity_

Yuki thought about the first time they met. How Shuichi told him that he was so cold and so selfish.

_Outstretched arms opened hearts  
And if it never ends then when do we start?_

He remembered how Shuichi reached out to him and healed his wounds.

_I'll never leave you behind  
Or treat you unkind  
I know you understand_

All the promises that Shuichi made to him.

_And with a tear in my eye  
Give me the sweetest goodbye  
That I ever did receive_

God, there were so many times that he tried to leave Shuichi, and in each time Shuichi would cry. But what Shuichi did not know was that Yuki suffered every second of it.__

Pushing forward and arching back  
Bring me closer to heart attack

All the times they made love to each other which was filled with passion and affection.

_Say goodbye and just fly away  
When you come back  
I have something to say_

Yuki closed his eyes shut as he comprehended the words. Shuichi was talking about him, right now. He was talking about the fact that Yuki was leaving the country.__

How does it feel to know you never have to be alone  
When you get home?

The inscriptions in the earring.

_There must be some place here where only you and I could go  
So I can show you how I_

Where they first met, the park.

_Dream away everyday  
Try so hard to disregard_

The times when Yuki tried to forget Shuichi.

_The rhythm of of the rain that drops  
And coincides with the beating of my heart_

How Shuichi related himself to the rain.

Yuki slowly opened his eyes. He looked at Shuichi on the stage, eyes still closed and both hands on the microphone, like he was using the stand to support his weight. Tears were now slowly streaming down Yuki's face as he walked through the dumbfounded audience.

_I'll never leave you behind  
Or treat you unkind  
I know you understand  
And with a tear in my eye  
Give me the sweetest goodbye  
That I ever did receive_

Pushing forward and arching back  
Bring me closer to heart attack  
Say goodbye and just fly away  
When you come back  
I have something to say

He was now a few feet in front of the stage, still looking at Shuichi. "Baka..."

_How does it feel to know you never have to be alone  
When you get home?  
There must be some place here where only you and I could go  
So I can show you how I feel_

* * *

The audience was ecstatic. They all stood up as soon as the song was finished and they all clapped with all their might. Some of them were howling, and some were even crying. Shuichi slowly opened his eyes and looked at the audience again. The distinct blonde hair caught his attention. He looked down at the person and smiled weakly. "Hey..."

He couldn't believe it. He came. Ryuichi's plan actually worked. At first, he didn't even try to consider the singer's proposal because there was just no way that he could even get himself off the hospital bed, but the J-pop legend was insistent.

He got Red to arrange all the papers for him to be able to get out of the building without any problems. He got Tohma to arrange all the matters which concerned Yuki. He got Kat to find his notepad and the lyrics which he finished a few hours before he jumped off that cliff. He got Hiro and Fujisaki to arrange the proper music to accompany the original melody of the song. He got K and Ren to convince numerous TV stations to have a live telecast of the launching party, especially considering Ren's wealth and K's persuasive attempts. He even got Sakano to delay Yuki's flight as their last resort, if things didn't turn out the way they wanted it to.

Yes, the past few hours were very chaotic but amazingly, Ryuichi got a hold of all of it, and each moment was worth it.

'Because the person whom all of this was for is now here, in front of me...' Shuichi thought.

Yuki started to step forward.

Shuichi smiled at him and said softly, "Don't, I'm not done yet."

He was happy that Yuki was here and that everything worked out as planned, but it still didn't change the fact that in doing all of this, he was risking his own life. When he left the hospital, his heart rate was already down to 40. There were only ten more to go before he went to cardiac arrest, and maybe lose his life.

He gripped the microphone tighter. 'Why did all of these have to happen to us?' For seven years, he had been at a lost and now that he finally regained some clarity in his life, he had to lose everything -- and this time, for good. He was going to die, he had already accepted that. He had even welcomed it for several times in the past, why was now any different? What he couldn't accept was the probability that he might not be able to tell Yuki how he truly felt.

All eyes were now on both of them but their eyes were glued to each other. Shuichi moved again to the microphone and spoke in a frail voice, "I've told myself so many times that I wasn't worth it, wasn't worth of any happiness... But then _you_ came and everything changed. Every second that we spent on bickering at each other, I felt happy because at least, you acknowledged my presence." Tears were now starting to well up in his eyes. "I've always wanted to stop it, though, that certain feeling that I felt for you. I've tried to deny it. Tried telling myself that there was no way that something could happen between us... But I just grew tired of all of it. So, I finally gave in, but even _that_ was not a good idea." He looked at Yuki more intently as tears started to pour down his face. "But I never regretted every second that I spent with you, even if it was all made up with smart-assed comments."

"You know that I was never good with words so I'm going to say this, short and simple..." Shuichi smiled weakly at him as he tried his best to keep awake. He was just _so_ weak.

"How did you know that I knew that?..." Yuki was now starting to walk to Shuichi in a slow pace.

Shuichi smiled knowingly as he paused a little and said in the sincerest voice, "I love you. I've always had and always will. Always remember that, ok?"

"What the hell are you talking about!" Yuki was shouting as he cried with Shuichi.

Shuichi smiled sweetly at him and bowed down. He brought his hands to his eyes and looked at Yuki. Yuki gaped as he saw what Shuichi just did, because now, violet eyes were now meeting amber ones.

"Shuichi..." Yuki stopped in his tracks as he whispered his lover's name.

"Don't forget me, _Eiri_, because I've just remembered you..." And with those final words, Shuichi lost his balance. He let go of the microphone as it, too, accompanied his fall. He could now feel the copper blood in his mouth and his fading heart beat. The last thing he could remember was the warm body which enveloped his own and the tireless screams of his own name which reached his ears.

'This is my sweetest goodbye to you, Eiri... I love you...'

And then, there was darkness.

* * *

**Author's notes:**

I AM SO SO SO SO SORRY! I really am... At least, the next chapter is out, right? Even though I'm not so happy on how it turned out. Please forgive me! You know how jammed up is for the past few days... I even finished this chapter in only three hours so that I could immediately post it. I really am very sorry for all the confusion.

To all of the people who reviewed, encouraged, suggested and complained, thank you all! I would have never done this without you guys... Thank you for the patience.

I know that this sounds like I'm saying goodbye or something, but you see, I don't really know how to end the story. I mean, I've got a nice ending but Shuichi being dead is a lot more dramatic so maybe it could also be better if I would just leave it that way. So, this is the only time that I would ask for reviews. I would like to know what you think. I'll be waiting for two weeks. After then, I'll decide.

THANK YOU EVERYONE!

* * *


	17. the nostalgic ending

* * *

**_CHAPTER SEVENTEEN  
The Nostalgic Ending_**

* * *

He sat comfortably on the sofa, relaxed and calm. He had both feet set on top of the center table in front of him. He inhaled deeply, absorbing the scent of his surroundings. He looked intently at each appliance, each furniture, remembering every detail inside the room he was in. He smiled. He smiled because he felt complete contentment in this simple setting. Everything was fine, alright... perfect.

Now, he was ready.

His attention was suddenly attracted by the stirring of the figure on his lap. He touched the figure's forehead, down to his nose, then to his lips. Tracing every feature of his companion's face.

Ever so slowly, the man laying on his lap fluttered his eyes open, adjusting to the lighting of the room. Amber eyes meeting violet ones.

Shuichi brushed off some hair covering Yuki's face and combed his blonde locks with his right hand. "Hey, good sleep?"

Yuki smiled back at him and said in a low voice, "How long had I been out?"

"Just a few hours. You could still sleep if you want."

"Nah." Yuki shifted to his back and looked directly at the ceiling of their living room. "I'll just lay here for a minute or two."

* * *

He put his right arm on his forehead as Shuichi continued to comb his hair. He reached for Shuichi's hand beside him and laced their fingers together, which Shuichi welcomed freely. He brought both of their hands to his view and noticed the silver bands on each of their left ring finger. He sighed deeply as he put their entwined hands on his chest, rising and dropping it in time with his breathing.

He looked at Shuichi and smiled secretly to himself. 'He's here, with me... Alive.'

It had been a year after Shuichi's heart transplant, and only three months after they got married.

It was a miracle that they found a suitable heart a few hours after that memorable gig. The doctors were already losing hope, even "he" almost lost hope, but somehow Shuichi cheated with death "again". They couldn't even believe that Shuichi lasted that long after he fainted. What was more incredible was how fast Shuichi recovered from the surgery. In only six months, he was as good as new.

'He really is some lucky brat.' Yuki thought to himself as he listened to his lover hum a very familiar song. "Sweetest goodbye?"

"Hn." Shuichi replied cheerfully. "You know it's my favorite, next to Sleepless Beauty, of course."

"Why do you like that song so much, anyway?"

"Because you wrote it, and you wrote it "for" me. That made all the difference." Shuichi said happily.

He looked at his pink-haired lover intently. 'I'm married to him now. There's no need to be afraid anymore.'

He slowly sat up straight and eyed Shuichi's violet orbs, seeping right through him.

"Yuki? You ok?" Shuichi was now very serious as he put his palm on Yuki's cheek.

'More than ever.' Yuki touched his palm and kissed it lightly. "Come here."

Shuichi smiled and leaned forward to kiss Yuki. Yuki put his hand on the back of Shuichi's head to support the deepened kiss. Shuichi put his arms around Yuki's neck and pulled him down on the sofa so that he could be on top of him.

Yuki broke the kiss and waited for Shuichi to open his eyes. As soon as he did, he gazed into them and, with their faces only centimeters away, he said in a soft tone, "Take me tonight."

* * *

Shuichi could not believe what he just heard. Did Yuki just say what he thought he said?

Shuichi merely looked at Yuki confusedly and said, "But Yuki--"

"Shh." Yuki smiled at him as he kissed his lips lightly. "I want you to take me, Shu... Please."

Shuichi looked at those captivating amber orbs for a long moment and smiled at his lover. He knew that this was going to be the first time that he'll do this to him and how significant this action would be. Of course, there were a lot of times that he did Yuki, but all of it were never like what Yuki wanted him to do now. But he knew how important this was to Yuki, and he knew what this meant. He was giving Shuichi "all" of himself.

"Are you sure?" Shuichi asked as he touched Yuki's cheek, removing the blonde hair covering his face in the process.

"Yes." Yuki said with a finality in his voice but hesitated, "I mean if it's ok with--" He touched his lover's chest.

Shuichi slowly shook his head and smiled at his lover. "It's alright. I can take it." And with that, he captured Yuki's lips with his. He broke the kiss shortly after that and said, "Thank you." Yuki simply smiled and leaned down to kiss him again, slowly unbuttoning his lover's shirt.

Shuichi immediately held Yuki's busy fingers on his shirt and hissed on his ear, "This time, I'm the boss."

Yuki smirked at his partner and pulled back, kneeling in front of him. He raised an eyebrow and said, "Brat."

Shuichi laughed as he pulled Yuki up and guided him to their bedroom.

* * *

He stood there while looking at pure nothingness. A beautiful scenery was before him but his eyes was never fixed onto them. His eyes weren't even fixed at _anything_. His grip on his katana just got tighter as his eyes started to show some emotion in it.

He was standing by the balcony inside the house. The sliding doors were open and the curtains were swaying in flow to the cold wind. He was already getting cold because his body was beginning to shake even though he tried his best to stop it happening. You couldn't really blame the wind because he was only wearing a pair of jeans and a polo shirt that was unbuttoned, making it dance with the wind just like the curtains. His face was already as white as dead. Maybe because of the coldness, maybe because of something else. But, still, he would not move. He doesn't even know why, but the wind on his face just soothes him. Maybe he just wanted some way to clear up his head.

* * *

He stirred on bed as his arm instinctively looked for the body warmth beside him. Feeling nothing but silk sheets and a pillow, his eyes shot open.

"Shuichi."

He quickly sat up straight and looked at his surroundings. He was still in their room but, 'Where the fuck is he?' He swung his legs to the side of the bed. He quickly strolled to his drawer and grabbed a pair of jeans and a navy blue sweatshirt. He put on the jeans and held the sweatshirt in his hand. He walked out of the bedroom and into the bathroom. He opened the door and said in a low voice, "Shuichi?" No answer. He went to his office, "Shuichi?" Still no answer. Shuichi's old bedroom. "Shuichi?" Again, none.

He was already starting to panic. 'Was all of what happened just a dream? But that can't be. He survived. He's alive. Then, where is he?' He walked to the living room and found a very unpleasant sight.

"Shu... ichi." He said in a whisper.

There he was, by the balcony. Standing there, wearing his shirt. Shuichi turned his head and looked at Yuki. Yuki focused his eyes on the thing held before Shuichi. His katana was right in front of him, halfway out of its sheath. Shuichi followed Yuki's gaze to his katana and with downcast eyes, he closed it slowly.

Yuki marched to where Shuichi was and put his sweatshirt on the younger boy. "Put this on and button up the shirt. You might get a cold."

He was about to walk away when Shuichi hugged him tight from behind. "I'm sorry."

"Baka. Why do you always say you're sorry? You didn't do anything..." Yuki said as he made no movement except hid his eyes with his bangs.

Yuki felt Shuichi's head shook lightly on his back and his hug tighten. "You were worried. You thought I was gone, didn't you? And when you saw me with this sword," Shuichi held the katana by Yuki's stomach, "you thought that I would kill myself... Didn't you?"

Yuki's heart started to pound faster as he processed what Shuichi had just said. He was right. He was scared as hell that Shuichi was not in bed with him, and he was _terrified_ to find him by the window with his sword almost fully out.

He heard something fall to the ground and looked in front of him. The katana. His eyes widened in surprise and instantly turned around to face Shuichi fully. Shuichi brought his hand to his cheek and said in a very comforting voice, "You shouldn't worry too much. I would never do such a stupid thing. I know I was suicidal before, but, now that I'm with you, I'm good."

Yuki held the hand on his cheek and closed his eyes as he turned his head to kiss his palm. He opened his eyes and gripped Shuichi's wrist. He turned him around to face the window and hugged him from behind, which was much easier for him because he was a few inches taller than his brown-haired lover.

* * *

Shuichi smiled at the little show of affection from his lover and moved Yuki's arms from his chest to his waist so that he could put his own arms on top of Yuki's. Yuki settled his head on Shuichi's shoulder and Shuichi tilted his head a little to the left to offer a bigger space for Yuki.

"Shuichi... Do you, uhm, miss it?"

"Ne?"

"Do you miss it? Being an assassin, I mean."

Shuichi thought for a while and relaxed. "Yes." Yuki opened his eyes at his answer. "I miss using my katana. I miss the adrenaline rush when I'm following my victims, preparing to kill them. I miss the way I moved when I run away from my pursuers. I miss everything about being an assassin but there is one thing I don't miss."

Yuki only stayed there, still hugging him, and Shuichi was grateful for that because it meant that he was welcomed to continue or stop. But in this case, he continued, "Killing people. I don't miss the way their blood spatter to my face, my hair, my clothes... to me."

Yuki only replied with his arms enveloping him even tighter. "Yuki, can I ask you a question?" Yuki nodded. "How come you still accepted me? Especially after knowing that everything I did when I was Jed was completely different from the way I used to be."

Yuki hesitated a bit but finally said, "How should I know?... You know I was never good with putting my feelings into words."

Shuichi laughed a little and settled back into the embrace.

"Because I love you."

Shuichi's eyes opened, shock clearly seen into them. But Yuki simply continued, "It doesn't really matter who you were in those seven years, what matters is that you're here now... with me."

Shuichi smiled at his lover's answer and hugged his lovers arms tighter. "But of course, the thought always linger on."

Shuichi looked at Yuki but the other just looked in front of them. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, come on. It's pretty impressive how a pink-haired brat who was considered a rockstar for three years suddenly became this stoic _ assassin_. You even learned how to cook! This is coming from the man who saw you whine, cry and complain about _every_ single thing; and also saw you almost kill a person with that blade of yours rather skillfully."

* * *

Shuichi smiled and rested his head beside Yuki's. "Yuki?"

"Hn..." Yuki was already feeling sleepy.

"How was I?"

"Hn?" Yuki raised an eyebrow and looked at Shuichi who quickly avoided his line of sight.

"Uhm... you know..." Shuichi just went from being really white into being scarlet red. That was when Yuki realized what he meant. He smirked at the thought but continued torturing the youth.

"I know what? I have no idea what you mean." Yuki let go of the embrace and stood in front of Shuichi.

"Well... uhm..." He was getting even redder every second. "How was I... uhm... last... night...?"

"Huh..." Yuki looked up. He knew it. "It was alright."

Shuichi looked straight into his eyes and said, "'Alright'? That was it? Just that?"

Yuki avoided the question and walked away. "Put the sweater on. We're leaving."

"Don't you walk out on me, _Eiri_." Shuichi walked behind Yuki while demanding a proper answer.

"Does it really bother you that much?" Yuki asked after turning around.

"Yes..." Shuichi bowed his head down. "I want to know if what you did for me was... worth it." He looked up and stared into amber eyes. "If _ I_ was worth it."

Yuki heaved a sigh. 'Of course you were.' He turned around and said in a soft voice, "Last night was... It was incredible. It was the best night of my life. There, happy?"

Shuichi looked up at Yuki, seeing only his blonde hair. Shuichi smiled gratefully and jumped on Yuki, resulting to a very loud thud. "Thank you, Yuki!"

"Baka! Get off me! You're hurting my back."

Shuichi giggled as he swiftly put the sweater on and jumped in front of Yuki. "I'll get the keys." And with that he went off to their bedroom.

Yuki smiled secretly and helped himself up, when he heard another thud. He looked in front of him and felt his heart about to burst out of his ribs.

"Shuichi!"

He ran to his lover's side and held him tight. "Shuichi?" But Shuichi didn't answer him, instead he just coughed and coughed. He held his chest as his face showed that he was in massive pain right at that moment.

Yuki promptly stood up and ran to their bedroom. He rummaged through the top drawer and, after finding Shuichi's medicine, ran to the hallway. He went to the bathroom to get a glass of water because it was nearest to them. He went back to his lover and his eyes widened in fear as he looked at the sight before him. Shuichi was now panting, very short of breath, and was very_ very_ pale. His coughing had stopped but his hands were full of... 'Blood.'

Yuki mentally shook himself and kneeled down before Shuichi. "Here, take this." He placed the pills on the blood-stained hands and Shuichi took them without any hesitation. He then took the glass of water offered to him. Yuki moved beside him and rubbed his back to relieve him a little from the pain he just went through. "Shuichi?"

Shuichi smiled at Yuki and said in a weak but warm voice, "Guess I was too happy and my heart couldn't take it. Hehe..."

Yuki knew that it was meant as a joke but he couldn't stop himself from hugging Shuichi. "Shu..."

"I'm alright, really. I think I should really start getting used to you calling me by my name. You've been calling me 'Shuichi' a lot lately. Not that I mind, of course, I don't! I love it when you call me that! It's really--" Shuichi coughed a bit, "nice."

Yuki let go and took the glass away from Shuichi. He put it back in the bathroom and went to their bedroom. He strolled to their bedroom but before he got in there, he saw that Shuichi was already rummaging through their belongings to find his car keys, like nothing had happened.

He went to their bedside drawer and put the bottle of pills on top of it. He still couldn't shake himself out of it. This had occurred so many times but _every_ time it happens, his heart stops, _literally_. He could really feel it stop beating for a second everytime he saw Shuichi like that. His face scrunched up in pain, his hand holding his chest while the other covered his mouth as he coughed, the panting, the sweating. It was like he could feel the pain that he was going through. He wanted to take all of it, or if not, at least half of it, just to lessen the pain that was causing his love.

He was shocked to feel the cold hand holding his. "Really, Yuki. I'm fine."

'Even his hands are already cold.' Yuki looked into his eyes and looked away. "I don't know. It's just that it's like it has gotten worse recently."

* * *

Yuki was right. It has gotten worse and he knew it. For the past month, blood was starting to come out of his mouth everytime he coughed, and that was not a good sign. He could feel his entire being struggle to live right then and there. But everything was going to be alright, or so he thought.

He hugged Yuki while resting his chin on his shoulder. 'If something happens Yuki, I want you to be happy.' He thought as he tightened his embrace. "I love you."

Yuki closed his eyes and returned the hug. "Don't you dare..." Yuki whispered silently.

Shuichi backed away from Yuki and smiled at him. He knew what he meant. Yuki knew that it was his way of saying goodbye, and Yuki never liked goodbyes. He smiled cheerfully to lighten up the mood and brought his cold hands to Yuki's line of sight. "I've got the keys!"

Yuki smiled back and snatched their blanket from the bed. "Let's go then."

* * *

"Wow Yuki! This is nice!" Shuichi exclaimed as he cocked his head back and spread his arms wide.

They were at the beach where Shuichi liked so much. Of course, the memory of Shuichi being suicidal right here was still haunting Yuki, but the cliff was far from view and it _was_ a really nice place.

It was five o'clock in the morning so they still had time to watch the sun rise, just like Yuki had planned. He laid the blanket on the brown sand and sat there as he faced the beach. He looked at Shuichi in front of him and smiled but quickly swept it away and said in a monotone voice, "Baka, you'll catch a cold if you do that. Sit down."

Shuichi turned around and pouted. "OK!" But quickly smiled and sat on the left side his lover.

Shuichi put his head on Yuki's shoulder as Yuki put his left arm around Shuichi while holding his left hand. Shuichi held his hand tightly in front of him while looking at both rings. Yuki looked at what caught Shuichi's attention and smiled with his lover.

"Yup, we're married. Sucks not to be single anymore, huh?" Yuki said as he focused back on the beach as a few sunrays were starting to creep out of the horizon.

Shuichi slowly shook his head and said, "It would suck if I didn't have you right here with me. I love you, Eiri."

Yuki smiled at his reply and tightened his hold on him to make it known that the feeling was mutual. "I love you too, Shuichi."

He glanced at his lover who was already starting to fall asleep. He was paler than usual and his lips were already starting to crack. Even the hand that he was holding was also starting to getcold -- _ very _cold. 'Is he...'

"Shuichi?"

"Hn..."

'Thank God.' His heart was already starting to beat faster as he entertained the thought. "Open your eyes. The sun is almost out."

As he was told, Shuichi opened his eyes tiredly, like there was a ton holding it down. He smiled as he looked at what Yuki was referring to. It was magnificent. The sky's color greatly accentuated the color of the sun. It really was amazing.

"You like it?" Yuki asked.

"I love it." Shuichi replied as he closed his eyes slowly. "Eiri, thank you."

"Huh?" Yuki looked at him as he asked and faced back to the sun. "For what?"

"For everything. For not giving up hope, and instead giving it to me. For being there when I needed you. For showing me things that I never thought existed. For caring for me. For loving me. Thank you."

He was saying goodbye and they both knew it. Tears were already starting to well up in Yuki's eyes as he refused to look at his lover who was comfortably sitting right beside him. "Don't you dare leave me, you--"

"Tell me about the sunrise, love." Shuichi quietly said.

Yuki sighed deeply and smiled as he looked at the sunrise. "It's really nice. The sun is like you, bright and powerful. The sky around it is also like the environment around you. Red and orange. Somber but cheery, all at the same time. It's also breathtaking, just like--"

Yuki felt all of Shuichi's weight lean down on him. And slowly, he felt Shuichi loosen his grip on his hand._ Now_, the tears fell but he made no move to both wipe it off and look at Shuichi. Instead, he tightened his hold on Shuichi's freezing hand and continued his sentence. "You."

Yuki sobbed silently as he bowed his head. He inhaled mildly and faced front.

He talked and talked as he remembered the doctor's words. Talking like nothing happened...

"But there are more sunrises which are more beautiful than this one."

_"There is still time for the operation but there is a great risk involved."_

"A lot can be found in South America or even in Southeast Asia."

_"Jed, I mean Shindou-san's body had almost shut down when he was up on stage so the chances of him getting through this would be not that great."_

"The beaches are nicer in those places because there are pleasant resorts situated at the side of it."

_"But if he does make it,"_

"Maybe that's not such a good idea, considering the fact that a lot of people might be there and disrupt the tranquility of the place. But it could be nice to go there."

_"He might only last for a year."_

"Right, Shuichi?"

_"Are you ready to accept that,"_

"Baka! Answer when I'm asking you a question!" Yuki shook his lover as he cried even harder.

_"Eiri-san?"_

"Why... won't you... answer... damn it..." Yuki said quietly in between sobs as he hugged Shuichi.

_"Yes. I'll do anything to spend some more time with him. Even if it'll hurt even worse."_

* * *

Everyone was there. Kat, Ren, Red, Hiro, Fujisaki, Ryuichi, Tatsuha, Ayaka, K, Sakano, all of Shuichi's family, and even Yuki's father. They were all wearing their best black suits and dresses. Some were crying their hearts out while others stood quietly in a corner. In all, it was a very solemn funeral.

"Where's Eiri?" Mika whispered to her husband, her eyes puffy from hours of crying.

"He said he wanted to be in the place where it all started." Tohma whispered back as he cried silently.

* * *

People were looking at him as they passed by but he didn't give a damn. He sat on the bench where he always does whenever he was here, looking at absolutely nothing. He was in the park where they first met. He didn't want to go to that damned funeral. He hated seeing his love's very peaceful face inside that big box. He might just cry his heart out and people might dwell on into his business again. This was the best place to go if he wanted to say goodbye to Shuichi. Where they first met.

His cellphone rang and he reluctantly got it from his pocket. "What?"

"The mass is about to begin. You should get here." Tohma's calm voice answered back.

"I'll be there." Yuki hung up and stood up.

This was it. It was really goodbye. He won't see him again because now, he could see Shuichi right in front of him as he laid in that wretched box -- dead.

He walked slowly out of the park and into the road. His car was on the other side of the road so he still had to cross the road to get to it. He strolled into the street after seeing that there were no signs of cars speeding his way. Wrong.

He slowly turned his head as he watched the car making his way to him. Then he heard it. The honking and the screeching of tires. First, it hit his knees. Then, he leaned forward and smashed his head on the windshield. Finally, he flew through the air and felt his whole body fall to the ground.

He could see the crimson blood seeping through his eyes. His breathing was already starting to fade, so was the beating of his heart.

He smiled wholeheartedly, for the first time since he was sixteen, because before he closed his eyes, the last thing he saw was Shuichi reaching out for him -- _alive_.

* * *

**_The End_**

* * *


	18. author's notes

**Author's Notes:**

I am very sorry for the late update. I know I promised two weeks but ended up being over twenty days. I really am very sorry. I really do hope it was worth the wait.

I am also sorry if some of you are disappointed at the ending I made. Yeah, they're both dead, but at least they're together, right? If anyone of you had seen Autumn's Tale, you would notice that it almost had the same ending as this one.

Please watch out for my next fic. I don't know the title yet, but I've got a nice plot in my head.

And please spread out the words about this fic. I would really love it if more people read this one. I'm not really good with summaries so it might not be that catchy in the gravitation directory. Like what I said before, what really mattered was that people read my story from the beginning till the end.

Thank you so much to all 54 people who reviewed and for being there until the end. Thanks a lot!

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